Cursed at a patient-fired

Nurses Relations

Published

This is very hard to be honest about but I know that I need to in order to move past it and to show that I know that what I did was wrong.

So I'm a relatively new grad (got my RN in Jan 2012). I took my first nursing job at a pediatric dual diagnosis hospital where the patients have both a medical diagnosis and behavioral diagnosis. I worked there for just over a year. In that time I was written up a total of 3 times for cursing, but only 1 of which actually occurred.

The first time, one of my co-workers wrote a letter to the DON stating that I had made a statement at the nurses station about "punching that ******* ***** in the face" and I was brought in and questioned, which I completely denied. The second time is the 1 time it actually did happen, I had a patient call me lazy because I refused to heat up her butter and I stated that I would be damned if anyone is going to call me lazy.

I immediately apologized to the patient and when my supervisor questioned me, due to having been informed by a co-worker, I told her the complete truth. I also used this as a teaching moment for my patients to show them that even adults are not perfect and we all have stuff we have to work on (mine being cursing). The last time never happened.

It started out with a co-worker being upset about the way I treated a patient and the co-worker lied and said I cursed at a another patient. I was working with a patient who had conversion disorder and he would attempt to get the staff to do everything for him. When he was admitted we were given instructions from the doctor and his PT that he was a minimum assist patient. I was trained that if our patients were not up by 8am then they would get cereal on the unit and if they were not up by 9am then the kitchen was closed, the whole time I was there this is how I ran the unit. I had gotten an order from the doctor that this patient be gotten up before 7am, since it took him extra time to get up and out of bed, which ment the night nurse would have to get him up and he would be out of bed when I got there (this never happened).

So that day he was ready to get out of bed when I woke up the other 17 patients. He never said anything about having to go to the bathroom to anyone who went in his room. By the time I went in to get him up, he had gone in the bed. To make a long story short, he didn't get out of bed and to breakfast until after 915. Following the unit rules he wasn't going to get breakfast due not being ready before 9am. The other nurse got rude with me and stated if it were her she would give him the food because he had been awake. She was very upset and I told her that she could give it to him but I felt he should have been up earlier and the rules apply to everyone else.

She went to the DON and complained and told them that I had cursed at another patient saying "stop your ********" which I deny because it didn't happen. I was called in and questioned about the patient's breakfast to which I replied that this was not the first meal he would have missed and I was not the only one who followed the kitchen rules. Also that I had told the Doctor and his Dietitian that he had been missing meals due to not assisting with his activities and such and not one person said anything about not giving him his food.

The DON said we could not do that and we could not deny patients food, I stated then someone, anyone should have said something and that this needs to be told to everyone. They then questioned about the cursing and said that since I have a history that they were letting me go.

I feel like I was targeted. I've tried to find another job but have had no luck and it seems that this issue is why. I have asked interviewers if their are any red flags during my interview and have been told the cursing. I have no idea what to do and how to show people that this was an isolated incident. I mean I worked in customer service for years and never had any issues like this. Any help would be great.

Specializes in Psychiatric.

No compassion??? Really? So when I have to wrap up wrists cut to the bone or Ng tube a patient who refuses to eat or cried with a patient who was having a hard time or spent the countless hours trying show them that they can't be angry all the time means I have no compassion? I lived at my job...not because they paid me to or because i had to, but because I loved my patients. Have you worked on a psych floor? Let alone a peds psych floor? If not then you have no idea what goes on and what I've dealt with how many times I didn't curse or cry or become emotional when i felt my life was threatened. Yes there were times I put myself in harms way to save my patients. So if that is having no compassion then maybe I didn't. I didn't baby my patients or pretend as if it was ok that they abused the people and caregivers who cared about them. I gave them real-life and a shoulder to lean on when they struggled. I'm sorry you feel the way you do.

I put that facility on my applications and resume to show I have some expierence. Where it asks why I left I put personal reasons. I only tell them if they ask about it. The reason I put it on there at all (I did consider removing it) was just in case an employer did a background check and found it.

I still wouldn't go into details. When asked why just state that the facility wasn't a good fit for you. Why would you ever tell someone you cursed at a patient and expect them to give you a job? For what it is worth, I do have behavioral health experience. It is never okay to withhold food or curse at a patient.

Specializes in Psychiatric.

Thank you for your response. Yes cursing is not acceptable in any professional setting, healthcare or not and I can admit this. However, its a very common occurance. I've heard so much fly at the nurses station. I am working hard at changing my bad habit. It has improved. The patients were not the issue it was my co-workers who in my opinion acted "holier than thou". But it definitely a lesson learned for me.

As for the meals, yes everyone got a chance to eat. However, based upon the way I was trained at that particular facility, it was kind of like we gave them the choice of either get up and get stuff down so you can eat breakfast and go to your school and therapy sessions on time or lay in bed that extra time and skip the meals. We wouldn't let this go on for an extreme amount of time, the Dr and MD were always aware of what was going on. Its like if they were at home and had to get up to go to school on the bus. If they didn't get up in time for breakfast and didn't make it to school for their breakfast then they would go without until lunch. School doesn't say well your running late because you slept in so here is some crackers. I often tried to give extra time when I could but these patients had strict schedules. If they missed one meal I always tried to make sure they ate the next one. upon admission I always made sure to explain. I felt horrible to have to make that decision but with 18 patients if I let one lay in bed until 9 then get up and to get stuff done and eat breakfast late then they would all choose to do so. They had to go to school and therapies that started at 9am and we would get in trouble if they were late.

OP, I would have fired you also. Never use food as a weapon. This child may never trust another nurse.

Specializes in Psychiatric.

I read somewhere on here that saying it wasn't a good fit might lead into questioning how it wasn't a good fit. What if they call the facility and they tell them what happened? Then I won't get the job due to being a liar. What a tangled web I've weaved. I love being a nurse and the patients I've worked with. Thank for your feedback, it really helps.

Specializes in Peds ED, Peds Stem Cell Transplant, Peds.

Sorry maybe it is mean, but many years of working with peds. One you shouldn't cuss period, but two peds include mouthy teenagers that all they know or respect is the cuss word. In BH arena, I think you did what was right with the patient as long as they were a normally healthy teen, not someone with an eatting disorder. But seriously clean up the language, because it will bite you in the butt in the end.

this was floor policy, with docs knowledge. reread. was left to the client, if they wanted to eat, get up in time to do so.

Specializes in Pedi.
I put that facility on my applications and resume to show I have some expierence. Where it asks why I left I put personal reasons. I only tell them if they ask about it. The reason I put it on there at all (I did consider removing it) was just in case an employer did a background check and found it.

Even if they ask, I wouldn't get into details. If you were a hiring manager, would YOU hire someone who said "I got fired from my last job for swearing at patients"?

Specializes in Psychiatric.

Yes the only units that were not done like this was the acute and the autistic units. An never with the eating disorder pts. I always made sure the Drs knew when a patient missed a meal and why.

Yes the only units that were not done like this was the acute and the autistic units. An never with the eating disorder pts. I always made sure the Drs knew when a patient missed a meal and why.

As a soon to be nursing student I have little to offer from the nurses perspective. However, I wonder if we may be missing the bigger picture? If these policies were practiced, and the drs. were aware, then maybe the facility used the last instance as a reason to let you go. Maybe you weren't a great fit to the team? Everyone has worked with someone who doesn't mesh well with the group. Whether they were too clique ish or you may need to do some self reflection (it seems you have begun), it seems that you can learn and move forward. I recommend a resume counselor resource and also meeting with a counselor (like someone else suggested). Good luck on your journey.

Cursing can become a habit. Is it possible, just possible, that you may have cursed without even realizing it and that the other nurses weren't actually lying? I used to curse frequently, and occasionally it would just pop out without my even thinking about it. Finally, a doctor I really respected took issue with it once (I didn't curse at a patient or around a patient, just in casual conversation with this doctor). He said I was better than that...I realized he was right.

It took a lot of conscious work to change this habit. It wasn't easy, but now I rarely do (well, as long as I don't stub my toe-WHY does that hurt so much?!).

I can't give you any better advice than you have already been given, so I'll just wish you luck in the future.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Frankly, the not giving the patient his breakfast part seemed far more alarming than the cursing part.

I'm not known for being a soft touch, but I can't envision a scenario where I'd think it would be okay to withhold a patient's meal as punishment for them not completing their ADLs on time. That's some old school nursing, there. I can't imagine any facility, anywhere, has such a policy in this day and age. If any of the other nurses told you that was the "rule", I suspect they were deliberately misleading you.

It seems you didn't have a good relationship with the nurses you worked with. Especially if they were truly lying in an attempt to get you fired. In situations like this, it's a good idea to look back and try and figure out exactly what happened to make your work relationships so toxic. It's hard being a new nurse in a unit that has established cliques. It's very easy to disrupt the "flow" and get on everyone's you-know-what list.

I'm an "old-school nurse," and that is not how we were taught to treat people, ever.

OP, I am alarmed that you would deny someone a meal because his incontinence made him late. You sound like you have some anger issues, and patients are suffering as a result of that. I worked in psych for 4 years, and we never withheld meals as a form of punishment. Privileges, yes, meals no.

+ Add a Comment