Am I harrassed???

OCNRN63, RN · Mar 12, 2012

Did my "wink" not show up??
Not a LITERAL statement here folks. Hence the wink.

I am saddened on a daily basis at the number of people who don't get sarcasm and need a or to let them know the post is not meant to be taken literally.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Mar 12, 2012

i suspect the op isn't clear on the meaning of "harassed", as evidenced by a prior post i found:

"jan 15 by neeke816 title: i feel so embarrassed and feel like harassed

hello fellow nurse sisters

i feel so embarrased to share this story, but i can't stop thinking.

i was helping a young male patient to take a shower. he was washing himself, and i was just helping his back, but suddenly he grabbed the towel, covered the area, and told me that he has something. i didn't see or realize anything until he told me so.

i just told him that it's okay and will bring a male nurse to help. i left the shower and brought the male nurse to finish the job. i took care of him until the end of my shift.

i know that it was out of his control, and he was apologetic, but i feel like i got harrased somehow and can't stop thinking about my behavior. i try to be nice and sweet to my patients, but i don't do anything special to male patients. i'm not sure and kinda feel down...

any thoughts or sharing???"

my thought is you have no idea what harassment actually is, since you have not experienced it based on the evidence you put forth.

dudette10, MSN, RN · Mar 12, 2012

Putting aside the OP's history and taking the blow-by-blow account at face value, I think the senior nurse is being incredibly nit-picky.

Yes, new grads need to be able to accept constructive criticism. Yes, all nurses (not just new grads) need to focus on their own practice and hold themselves to high standards. However, being constantly corrected in a very brusque manner weighs heavily on even those with the thickest of skins. It gets tiring and it can make someone very defensive to future teaching.

It is my firm belief that it takes two people to create a less-than-productive relationship. It's not ONE person who is 100% at fault. That said, the senior nurse in this scenario is a raging *****, and the OP (based on the posting history) is also overly sensitive.

NO50FRANNY · Mar 13, 2012

"i don't think you are practicing in the us because we don't have nap time for workers here. i do however think you need to take a good look at your habits at work and make the proper adjustments."

"you are a new grad and a new grad with a habit of making careless mistakes and not owing up to the seriousness of the situation."

i just read the posts you referred to, i totally agree with your comments. i believe poster needs to maturely reflect upon constructive criticism, and take her job a little more seriously. we are responsible for peoples lives, and i feel that poster is unnervingly flippant about these "mistakes" simply because there hasn't been any grave consequences, yet.

reddellrn · Mar 13, 2012

Bull crap. Yes they do! This is in response to "nurses cony cry"

allnurses Guide · Mar 13, 2012

After reading the thread title and how it was phrased, I DID kinda wonder if it was the same nurse who posted

about the little shower incident.

Anyway, the only thing I have to add is this: I once had a coworker from Nepal, who had a sister working in

London. She told me that nurses at her sister's hospital actually took two hour naps at the hospital during

their break, but that they also worked like, fourteen hour shifts.

I've never worked in London so I have no idea if this is true or not, but I don't know why my coworker would

have made this up. It could have just been that one particular hospital doing this.

NO50FRANNY · Mar 24, 2012

I worked in London for over a year in several different hospitals (agency/contract) and they have anything from 12.5 - 14.3/4 hour shifts overnight / during the day and the standard break for a 12.5 hour night was 1.5 - 2 hours depending on staffing and funnily enough the "the done thing" was to go and have a sleep. I could never get used to this idea but it was routine at every facility I worked at. Obviously this system worked under the provision that if there was any reason that the other nurses were unable to manage workload or safely look after the patients the nurse would be woken up from their break. I just could never get past this idea of sleeping while at work, but the accepted notion was that the 1.5 hour break was your entitlement and that like any other job, you were not required to be there. In other words, by rights, you could leave the unit for the allotted time. In reality of course, working in central London for example, cruising the streets at 3 am is not a particularly attractive pastime- too bloody cold! So, usually the breaks were worked out at the start of the shift and I have to say 98% of the nurses I worked with had a sleep, I just couldn't do it.

Merlyn · Mar 24, 2012

It was a night shift with one Chinese senior nurse, me, and a casual nurse from another unit. The Chinese seinor nurse has been working for our unit about 5 yrs and famous for her dominant personality.
She was picking up every thing I've done during the night shift.
For example,
1) she was calling me why I didn't organized pt 28's chart,and I'm not doing my job,so I told her because she is not my pt, and I've never had that pt. She never apologized at all.
2) she picked up my handwriting and telling me that my "mg" doesn't look like "mg", and it could be a big deal. I agree with her that it could be a big deal, but "mg" was the only measuring unit on that chart, so you can't be confused with "mcg" or "g" , and I don't think my "mg" wasn't too bad comparing to some other nurses' or doctors' writing.
3) A casual nurse's pt's antibiotic was done, I heared the IV was beeping, but it needed to be flushed with NS, so I put 100 ml of NS, but didn't take the medcine lable off from the burette. I just told the casual nurse that pt's antibiotic was done, and I put 100ml of NS to flush, so she could take off the label after the flush, and she said thank you. However later on, the senior nurse was shouting at me why I didn't take the label off, and it made her confused. I told her that I already talked to the pt's nurse about it, but she looked quite angry at me that I didn't tell the charge nurse about it.
4) It was napping time, and I asked the senior nurse whether she will take her break and use blanket, and she said no. So I told her that I will dump everything in the linen bag after I use it, and I did. Later on, she was shouting at me that I dumped the only blanket that we had our unit, and because of that she can't take her break. She looked really angry, so I just went to another ward and get her blanket, and she said she is too busy to take her break.
5) After I took my break, I came back to our unit, and I just sat about 3 mins, then the senior nurse was talking to me why I don't check my pts immediately when I got back to the unit. She was telling me that about one yr ago, a nurse didn't check the pt for 5hrs, and the pt got a cardiac arrest and died. I checked everyone's vital sign before I took my break, and I do check my pt at least every 1-2 hrs, so I told her so, but she was telling me that that's not good enough for her.
6) I put my feet on the chair. It was just me and her, and my legs were killing me, and she told me not to do it infront of her because it's unprofessional. I even saw other nurses taking a nap, cutting their nails, and watching movies.
7) I asked her whether she needs any help. I just tried to be nice to her, but she was "Stop asking me!! If I need help then I will tell you!!!"
Besides she never answered other pt's call but hers only, and the other nurse was new and unexperienced plus hard of hearing with her hearing aid, and she couldn't give meds by herself. So, I was running everytime whenever pts call or IV beeps. I didn't say anything, and did my best to be polite, but I couldn't hold it anymore when this happened.
8) The other casual nurse's pt was confused lady and I tried to give her scheduled aspirin but she spitted it out several times. It was 0600 and my other pts were calling me, so I asked the nurse about the pt's temp, and it was fine. So I meant to put "pt refused" on the chart, but I got busy, and she wasn't my pt, so I forgot.
About 30 mins later, pt got 38.0 fever, and the casual nurse told the senior nurse, and she was shouting at me why I don't do my job. And that was it, I couldn't hold anymore.
I gave pt's aspirin and went to a bathroom and cried, but AM staff and my manager saw me and asked me what happened.
I was emotionally and physically wiped out, so I rambled little bit, but couldn't explain it quite logically. I just told my manager that I don't mind working with that nurse and I don't have any problem with her.
I feel like I should go to my manager and explain it better. I talked to the casual nurse and she told me that she will back up me, just in case my senior nurse talk something against the truth.
Am I harrassed at work??? I just feel so terrible and incompetent, since she was shouting at me that I'm not doing my job right whenever she had a chance.

Go to your supervisor. What are you waiting for? Complain! The other nurse knows that she can get away with her behavior so she will continue. Take some of the wind out of her sails. Report her!

sharpeimom · Mar 24, 2012

despite the fact that harassment is a word in my everyday vocabulary, i just looked it up in order to have a more precise

definition. here's what i found:

[table]

[tr]

[td]ha-rass (h-rs, hrs)tr.v. ha-rassed, ha-rass-ing, ha-rass-es 1. to irritate or torment persistently.

2. to wear out; exhaust.

3. to impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids.

[french harasser, possibly from old french harer, to set a dog on, from hare, interj. used to set a dog on, of germanic origin.]

ha-rass

er n.

ha-rassment n.

synonyms: harass, harry, hound, badger, pester, plague

these verbs mean to trouble persistently or incessantly. harass and harry imply systematic persecution by besieging with repeated annoyances, threats, or demands: the landlord harassed tenants who were behind in their rent. a rude customer had harried the storekeeper.

hound suggests unrelenting pursuit to gain a desired end: reporters hounded the celebrity for an interview.

to badger is to nag or tease persistently: the child badgered his parents for a new bicycle.

to pester is to inflict a succession of petty annoyances: "how she would have pursued and pestered me with questions and surmises" (charlotte brontë).

plague refers to a problem likened to an epidemic disease: "as i have no estate, i am plagued with no tenants or stewards" (henry fielding).

usage note: educated usage appears to be evenly divided on the pronunciation of harass. in our 1987 survey 50 percent of the usage panel preferred stressing the first syllable, while 50 percent preferred stressing the second. curiously, the panelists' comments appear to indicate that each side regards itself as an embattled minority.

[/td]

[/tr]

[/table]

harassment

dun see solicitation.

from pillar to post see direction.

get off [someone’s] back to stop bothering, irritating, or criticizing another person; similar to the currently popular get off [someone’s] case. this expression is usually spoken in the command form by a desperate victim of incessant nagging or harassment.

then stop picking on me, will you? get off my back, will you? (joseph heller, catch-22, 1961)

the heat’s on the police are hot on one’s trail; the pressure is on. heat can refer to a gun, a policeman, or other external source of pressure. in this originally u.s. slang expression dating from the early 20th century, heat combines the latter two meanings.

but the word went out that the government heat was on. the fbi was known to be relentless in its pursuit. (h. corey, farewell, mr. gangster, 1936)

the heat’s on currently applies to any pressure-ridden situation, though its most frequent usage is still police-related.

make it hot for to make things very uncomfortable or unpleasant for someone, especially through repeated harassment or persecution; to make trouble for. this expression and the variant to make it too hot for were precursors of the american slang phrase to turn the heat on ‘to apply pressure to.’

caesar augustus thought good to make that practice too hot for them. (edmund bolton, the roman histories of lucius julius florus, translated 1618)

play cat and mouse with to tease, toy with, or torment; to be engaged in a power struggle in which one takes the role of cat, or oppressor, and victimizes the mouse, or weaker party; to outwit one’s opponent; to take part in a round of near capture and escape. the cat-and-mouse act, a nickname for the prisoners act of 1913 which enabled hunger strikers to be released temporarily, popularized use of the phrase cat and mouse in the early 1900s.

the administration played a curious cat-and-mouse game with the jewish self-defence organization. (arthur koestier, promise and fulfillment, 1949)

ride herd on see domination.

so i would say you feel bothered and picked on (american slang word) but that you aren't experiencing true harassment by the

above definition. as a former supervisor and senior nurse, i can understand why your senior nurse brought up these issues, because

they are very important but i'm sorry if it hurt your feelings in the process. everything she mentioned i something that i would

have talked to you about too. very clear handwriting is vital not just because of a patient's safe care while in hospital but in the

event that a lawsuit is brought. i don't ever want to have my handwriting to be unreadable in a court case! as far as the label

goes, how many seconds longer would it have taken you to remove it?

a vital part of all new nurses education is correction of the mistakes we all make just because we're human. in an ideal world, it

would be done gently and kindly, but this is the real, sometimes harsh, unkind, world and sometimes we're tired, worried, annoyed,

angry at someone else, etc. etc. and we're not as even tempered as we mean to be. sometimes, you just have to suck it up and tell

yourself that "boy! ___ is having a terrible day!" and then let it go. having someone point out your errors just goes hand in hand

with getting better at your job, whatever it may be.

nightengalegoddess · Sep 16, 2012

Don't know what country the OP is from....from my USA standpoint, sounds like another planet. Of course, it is comforting to know that the beings on this other planet who happen to be RNs are prettty much the same as here in the USA. That would be human, sensitive, stressed, and in the 'CHINESE' charge nurse's case....mean and brusque. Maybe Nurse China was correct in all of her comments to the OP..true. It is the way she delivered her messages to the OPer that were harrassing. Perhaps after OP corrects some of her performance issues, and this charge nurse continues to find fault with insignificant things....THEN it would be time to report her to the manager.

Personally, I understand why OPer mentioned the Chinese thing. Some cultures, with their accents and cultural raising/backround; have much more abrasive personalities than others. Chinese, New Yorkers, Germans, those from Philly and Koreans, for instance; are often seen as "aggressive" in the workplace. That goes for physicians as well as nurses. I have seen all these cultures get called out because of their "attitude". I think this is pretty racist that these personality/cultural types have to try and CHANGE their personalities to fit in with some kind of passive-aggressive style many preffer (or act as if they do).....There IS such a thing as CULTURAL AWARENESS. After all, I have to listen to my co-workers speaking Spanish while in front of English speaking patients and gosh help me if I try to complain about THAT.