Accused of being racist - how to handle?

Nurses Relations

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In caring for an African American child this morning, her father accused me of being both "racist" and "uppity." Apparently, while I was tending to his child, he asked me repeatedly how to make a long-distance phone call with a calling card. I gave him the instructions as I know them, but apparently he was still unable to place this call. His child was de-satting at the time, and had blood coming from the incisions in her mouth and secretions pouring from her trach. His phone call was not at the top of my priority list.

So he asked me if "you have something against black people or something." I guess because I was tending to his child and not helping him place his important phone call, I'm now racist.

I'm having a hard time because a) I feel very insulted and b) I'm supposed to teach him how to care for his child so she can go home today. How receptive to me is he going to be if he thinks I'm racist? And I'm not sure about dealing with my own feelings after being accused of being racist.

I'm honestly not sure how he got that I'm racist just because I was occupied at the moment and couldn't help him place his phone call. In all honesty, I'm pretty pissed. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Did he complain to a supervisor, or just make the comment to you? If just to you,

At this point, 3 days later, he's made the complaint to everyone's who has entered the room. But now it's not just about me ... it's about every Anglo-American employee who has gone in the room or attempted to care for his daughter. The only people the man doesn't seem to have a problem with is the doctors.

Our charge nurse today is great and informed him if he continues to be disruptive, he will be escorted out by security. He said, "y'all do whatcha gotta do," but he's been pretty docile since.

Also, when he did originally tell me he thought I was racist, I DID attempt to talk to him about it, and I apologized for anything I did that gave him that impression.

I am all for Affirmative Action and Quotas -- especially in the media. Minorities need to be heard.

I'm sorry, but if a couple of white people lose out on job opportunities, no matter how much they may deserve them, it seems a small price to pay for providing opportunities for blacks to succeed.

One of the things I find interesting about this thread is that some have posted saying, I'm a minority, I had things bad, I was poor, etc., and I succeeded -- therefore I don't have sympathy for blacks who grumble and don't make it.

Implied in this argument is that blacks somehow are lazy or shiftless or inherently unable to succeed. That they have character flaws or are disabled or something.

However, if you come from a place of believing that blacks are just as capable and talented as anyone else, the question becomes what in our society is stoppiing them from succeeding. The numbers, the stats are enough to tell you that something is WRONG.

You can say you come to America on a boat with nothing, but you come with parents who believe in the American dream and have a sense of hope. Blacks in this country come from a culture of oppression -- they have hundreds of years of learned helplessness to overcome.

I continue to be amazed at how well African-Americans do, actually, given their circumstances. And how many rise above hatred, and how many go into helping professions -- teaching, nursing, social work, etc. It's an inspiration to me, personally, and I'm white.

Specializes in 6 years of ER fun, med/surg, blah, blah.
I am all for Affirmative Action and Quotas -- especially in the media. Minorities need to be heard.

I'm sorry, but if a couple of white people lose out on job opportunities, no matter how much they may deserve them, it seems a small price to pay for providing opportunities for blacks to succeed.

One of the things I find interesting about this thread is that some have posted saying, I'm a minority, I had things bad, I was poor, etc., and I succeeded -- therefore I don't have sympathy for blacks who grumble and don't make it.

Implied in this argument is that blacks somehow are lazy or shiftless or inherently unable to succeed. That they have character flaws or are disabled or something.

However, if you come from a place of believing that blacks are just as capable and talented as anyone else, the question becomes what in our society is stoppiing them from succeeding. The numbers, the stats are enough to tell you that something is WRONG.

You can say you come to America on a boat with nothing, but you come with parents who believe in the American dream and have a sense of hope. Blacks in this country come from a culture of oppression -- they have hundreds of years of learned helplessness to overcome.

I continue to be amazed at how well African-Americans do, actually, given their circumstances. And how many rise above hatred, and how many go into helping professions -- teaching, nursing, social work, etc. It's an inspiration to me, personally, and I'm white.

Hmm, "If a few white people lose out on job opportunities..."

Whatever happened to the best person for the job getting that job?:confused:

Hmm, "If a few white people lose out on job opportunities..."

Whatever happened to the best person for the job getting that job?:confused:

That would be great. Let's work toward it. Let's implement affirmative action, equalize the playing field, and then get rid of it (and nepotism and chronyism).

America gets off cheap with affirmative action and quotas. It's a lot less expensive than providing reparations, adequate housing, good education and the intensive social work necessary to make the next generation of African-Americans competitive with their white counterparts.

When I lost some job opportunities to blacks, I was really PO'd at the time ... it was also strange because, as a white woman, I thought I was supposed to benefit from affirmative action also.

But it turned out to be the best thing. I needed to get out of that business anyway. Nursing has worked out much better for me.

As far as affirmative action, I agree with Chris Rock ... who did a hilarious comedy bit on the subject. If the qualifications are the same, then give it to the minority.

But, if they're not qualified then ... give it to the best qualified person. Although to be honest ... the minorities who were hired weren't qualified in most cases but, maybe it was a good thing anyway.

They were putting blacks on the air who ever had been on television before. Usually you had to work your way up from local TV stations with experience but, that simply wasn't the case with the network affirmative action programs I had experience with.

:typing

Specializes in Clinicals.
That would be great. Let's work toward it. Let's implement affirmative action, equalize the playing field, and then get rid of it (and nepotism and chronyism).

:yeahthat:

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

That said, I would not care for this client - it's not worth the headache. After the father declines the fourth or fifth HCW for various issues (there will usually be other issues) , management will have to handle the issues that the father has.

Well, I suppose I called it correctly.

I am sure a lot of minorities ask themselves this very question when they are looked over for employment, good interest rates and decent healthcare.

Hmm, "If a few white people lose out on job opportunities..."

Whatever happened to the best person for the job getting that job?:confused:

This is very hard to believe. I can't see a white person losing their job to minority just to meet a quota. Urban legend.

When I lost some job opportunities to blacks, I was really PO'd at the time ... it was also strange because, as a white woman, I thought I was supposed to benefit from affirmative action also.

But it turned out to be the best thing. I needed to get out of that business anyway. Nursing has worked out much better for me.

As far as affirmative action, I agree with Chris Rock ... who did a hilarious comedy bit on the subject. If the qualifications are the same, then give it to the minority.

But, if they're not qualified then ... give it to the best qualified person. Although to be honest ... the minorities who were hired weren't qualified in most cases but, maybe it was a good thing anyway.

They were putting blacks on the air who ever had been on television before. Usually you had to work your way up from local TV stations with experience but, that simply wasn't the case with the network affirmative action programs I had experience with.

:typing

This is very hard to believe. I can't see a white person losing their job to minority just to meet a quota. Urban legend.

Not fired but preference was given to under represented people, racial minorities and women, in education and employment.

Employers found guilty of hiring less qualified white men (racial discrimination) could be ordered to hire qualified women and/or minorities.

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/affirmative-action/

Before the mid seventies almost 100% of physicians were white men.

UCLA in 1976 graduated two blacks and two women for a total of THREE out of more than a hundred new doctors. (one graduate was both).

In 1977 about 30% were women and minorities.

From what I remember UCLA began choosing qualified applicants , with a 3.7 or above GPA, with the goal of a gender and racial mix.

UC Davis accepted black candidates over a white 4.0 student. He won a lawsuit and is reported to be a fine pediatrician today.

Since 1996 school of medicine acceptance in ONLY based on grades. Now more than half the medical students are Asian.

Specializes in ER/Trauma.

moderator note:

for the life of me,

i cannot understand what the op posted has anything to do with affirmative action, quotas, reparations or anything else that has been discussed in this thread.

ladies and gents,

we can help the op overcome their particular problem, support 'em through it or at the very least, wish 'em the best of luck.

please, let us focus on helping the op - as originally requested. "racism" was one of the 'focal points' but not the intended message of the original post. it was a request for support - not the legality or politics of the institution.

if you wish to discuss racism, reparations, affirmative actions or anything else non-nursing related; please feel free to open a thread in the off topic forums.

cheers,

roy

allnurses.com moderator

Tell him to kiss you a@@, that the child is the priority not the phone call. As a father he should be more concerned with his daughter not the phone.

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