Accused of being racist - how to handle?

Blove86 · May 27, 2007

Wow, interesting topic. I am a black male and have been discriminated against. Racism is very much alive and kickin around the world today. But I do believe that not ALL people are racist, and some peopel are genuinely sincere peeps. Thte man was totally wrong for coming at you like that, I dont know how I will handle those type of situations in the future without letting someone get a piece of my mind. But yea America definately has alot of growing up to do!

debthern · May 27, 2007

I had a patient who was in his 70's a couple of weeks ago who was very hateful to me just with general rude comments, who said to me why are you so mean to black people? I said I am not being mean I just have to follo the doctor's orders. It continued and he said again why are you so mean to me? I said I have not done one mean thing to you but you have been mean to me the whole time you have been here and his whole attitude changed and we ended up laughing when he left. I guess some people just don't always realize how they are coming across to others.

chuck1234 · May 27, 2007

In caring for an African American child this morning, her father accused me of being both "racist" and "uppity." Apparently, while I was tending to his child, he asked me repeatedly how to make a long-distance phone call with a calling card. I gave him the instructions as I know them, but apparently he was still unable to place this call. His child was de-satting at the time, and had blood coming from the incisions in her mouth and secretions pouring from her trach. His phone call was not at the top of my priority list.
So he asked me if "you have something against black people or something." I guess because I was tending to his child and not helping him place his important phone call, I'm now racist.
I'm having a hard time because a) I feel very insulted and b) I'm supposed to teach him how to care for his child so she can go home today. How receptive to me is he going to be if he thinks I'm racist? And I'm not sure about dealing with my own feelings after being accused of being racist.
I'm honestly not sure how he got that I'm racist just because I was occupied at the moment and couldn't help him place his phone call. In all honesty, I'm pretty pissed. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Hearing only your story...and, as a fair person, I don't think I will draw a conclusion. I don't think I will be on your side, nor do I think I will on that African American man's side. In addition, communication consists several parts...your voice of tone is a part of it. Non-verbal part is a big part too.....

Sheri257 · May 27, 2007

affirmative action does not result in the loss of jobs or placement. it's point is in recruitment practices. the notion of quotas is an urban legend in most facilities. you lost your job for other reasons, not affirmative action. secondly, affirmative action helps women, mainly white (where there are gender issues), moreso than minorities- check the statistics.

i lost the job for other reasons? were you there?

i know exactly why i lost the job (which was when i was in the media business, btw) ... he was black, i was white (and female).

i know for a fact that it was affirmative action because it was later discovered that he had lied about his qualifications and was fired for not doing his job. the manager called and told me they were under a lot of pressure to hire minorities ... apologizing because they were now offering me the job in light of what happened but, by then, i had taken another position.

the quotas ... as you put it ... were very common when i was in the media business. abc news, for example, had a training program exclusively set up to get minorities on the air. if you were white, you absolutely could not get into that program.

i'm not necessarily saying it's a bad thing but ... let's not pretend that these things don't happen either.

:typing

chuck1234 · May 27, 2007

I lost the job for other reasons? Were you there?
I know exactly why I lost the job (which was when I was in the media business, btw) ... he was black, I was white (and female).
I know for a fact that it was affirmative action because it was later discovered that he had lied about his qualifications and was fired for not doing his job. The manager called and told me they were under a lot of pressure to hire minorities ... apologizing because they were now offering me the job in light of what happened but, by then, I had taken another position.
The quotas ... as you put it ... were very common when I was in the media business. ABC News, for example, had a training program exclusively set up to get minorities on the air. If you were white, you absolutely could not get into that program.
I'm not necessarily saying it's a bad thing but ... let's not pretend that these things don't happen either.
:typing

"The manager called...Under a lot of pressure to hire minorities..." If I were you, I will hire a lawyer right away...I am more interesting to hear why you did not do that. You will get $$$$ from that if you win the case...plus you are still keeping the new job. Sounds like you have a chance to hit a jackpot...

Sheri257 · May 27, 2007

"The manager called...Under a lot of pressure to hire minorities..." If I were you, I will hire a lawyer right away...I am more interesting to hear why you did not do that. You will get $$$$ from that if you win the case...plus you are still keeping the new job. Sounds like you have a chance to hit a jackpot...

Well ... I'm not in the media business anymore. I decided to go to nursing school instead ... mostly because I was also tired of the media business in general. As you may know in the TV business shows are often cancelled and there isn't a lot of job security.

But, from what I was told at the time, the networks were concerned about some FCC regulation requiring minority hiring but, I'm not really sure if that's accurate or not.

:typing

TazziRN, RN · May 27, 2007

Chuck, no offense but how old are you? I'm wondering if you're too young to remember when things were just as Sheri is describing it. There used to be minority quotas and affirmative action, and people actually lost their jobs or were not hired because they were white.

Susan9608 · May 27, 2007

Hearing only your story...and, as a fair person, I don't think I will draw a conclusion. I don't think I will be on your side, nor do I think I will on that African American man's side. In addition, communication consists several parts...your voice of tone is a part of it. Non-verbal part is a big part too.....

I'm not asking anyone to be on my "side." My original problem was how do I continue to provide quality care, which included teaching these parents how to do complicated oral care, to a family that obviously isn't going to be receptive to me. How well would you take teaching from someone if you felt they had some kind of bias against you? While it did hurt my feelings and bother me to be called racist (since i felt that it was totally unwarranted), my biggest problem at that time was how do I a) continue to provide care to a family that has a problem with me, since I wasn't allowed to change assignments and b) how do I put aside my personal feelings to continue providing care?

It's not an issue of people saying I'm right and the father was wrong.

As an update, though ... the child is still in my unit. Not because of my "lousy, uppity, racist" care, but because of her health. the father has now had a problem with every Caucasian employee who has cared for his daughter. Every white employee has been labeled a racist by him, and he has taken to cursing and shouting at everyone, except for the doctors (even though they are white, too), who go into his daughter's room. He has been warned that continuing this behavior of cursing and shouting at the nurses will result in security being called, as NO ONE has to take abusive behavior. He doesn't seem to care, though, and continues to call us all "racist."

Could he possibly be the one who's racist? It certainly seems that way to me. I don't know how any of our nurses are going to be able to provide good quality care to his daughter when he's interfering this way.

withasmilelpn · May 27, 2007

Yes, he could be the racist. There are ignorant small minded individuals in every race that chooses to judge people by how they look and not how they act. I would try and get past how insulted you feel. You know the truth! It sound like he is honestly just one of those 'difficult' family members that happens to use race as a reason to attack you. I have a feeling if he was white he'd be the type to resort to chauvinistic attacks, don't you think? Nasty people come in all shapes and sizes, don't they? Just remember this poor little girl is in the middle of this. Protect her first and continue giving her the high quality of care you know you are. And make sure you document everything, please! Good luck!

TazziRN, RN · May 27, 2007

Could he possibly be the one who's racist? It certainly seems that way to me. I don't know how any of our nurses are going to be able to provide good quality care to his daughter when he's interfering this way.

Ain't no "could he possibly be" about it, he is the racist. If he weren't he would not have a problem with every white nurse there.

The unit would be well within its rights to insist that he leave the room whenever a nurse has to provide care because he's interfering.

reesern63, RN · May 27, 2007

Ain't no "could he possibly be" about it, he is the racist. If he weren't he would not have a problem with every white nurse there.
The unit would be well within its rights to insist that he leave the room whenever a nurse has to provide care because he's interfering.

I was thinking the same thing. At this point he is compromising the safety of his child and interfering with her care. His behavior is disruptive, and he should be informed that if he cannot behave appropriately he will be asked to leave.

miche18 · May 27, 2007

Well said!

Did he complain to a supervisor, or just make the comment to you? If just to you, I see nothing wrong with sitting down with him and asking him why he thinks you're racist, and explaining what was occupying you at that moment. This can be done with the charge nurse there or your nurse manager.