Professionalism vs verbal diarrhea

[BlueYYsRN]

OK, you all know them...hopefully you are not one of them. You know one of those truly gifted practitioners who are capable of handling just about any situation...caring for the sickest kid they can shine...yet their workplace ettiquette stinks.

I am the lowest man on the totum pole at work and thats fine. Its just there are some things I want to speak out about for the good of the unit but am not sure the best way to go about it. There is a lady where I work who is a very good nurse and has been there for a long time but lets just say she suffers from verbal diarrhea secondary to opinionitis (my own diagnosis). She talks very badly about other nurses, babies families, doctors and doesn't care who hears. It is a small unit and visitors can hear everything. Last night two things happened that distressed me to no end. I had two babies and both sets of parents were in visiting. She was going on and on about the nurse who had her baby the night before. Everyone could hear her talking about the things this nurse didn't do because she was lazy. Everyone heard her contemplating whether she should confront her face to face or send an email. The issue she was upset about was trivial at best. Granted it was agravating, maybe something to be brought up with management but still trivial. It really upset me because I feel her venting like that cost our unit a much bigger price... the trust of our parents. How are these parents going to feel when the nurse she was complaining about has their kids? Midway through the shift we were called to a delivery, term meconiun. This nurse was first admit. When they got back with the baby it was obvious that meconium wasn't the problem. A term kid on 100% O's with sats of 64%. The neo decided to get an echo to determine cardiac vs. PPHN. I was standing with one of my parents helping them PO feed for the first time and I didn't hear what this nurse said but the neo looked up and said, "It doesn't matter whether they have insurance. That plays no part in what I decide to do for this baby." I had heard her mention to him once before that this was all "going to be free because they don't have insurance." I couldn't help dropping my jaw and my parent saw it but didn't say anything. Thank God, because at that point I would have said something like, "I am so sorry, it seems like some folks just don't know how to act."

It turns out that this kid had Transposition of the great vessels and would have to be transferred to a hospital 2 hours away. On top of all that the parents spoke no english and none of us spoke spanish so there was little comfort to be given them. Maybe its just as well. I did what I could and lowered the warming table and siderail in the short time the parents had before the transport team came so that the mom could touch her daughter from her wheelchair. They seemed so sad and bewildered, it broke my heart.

Is this conduct something we must live with or what? I am not a strongly assertive person and do not have enough standing to confront this person. Should I talk to my manager or do like my husband says and give her an anonymous note with my diagnosis?

Thanks for letting me vent.

[fergus51]

Don't do an anonymous note. That is too close to high school, and just invites gossiping and such. Never say something about someone behind their backs that you wouldn't say to their faces! I would either speak to another nurse I respected or my manager and get their opinion before doing anything else. You probably aren't the only one who is offended and put off by her behavior. The nasty talk about other staff in front of patients' families is completely unprofessional and needs to stop. In my workplace gossip is considered a form of harassment and human resources will get involved if you go see them about it.

[NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN]

I agree- the anonymous note is probably not a good idea. There is no reason for you to be the sole confronter in this situation; that is what the admin's are there for. Her behavior is highly unprofessional and she is showing a comlpete lack of respect and regard for the other nurses (who are supposed to be her team mates) and the families (who are dealing with enough stress without having to cope with the thought of getting the "bad" nurse or having the negative complainer be responsible for their baby). Her behavior is divisive, and there is no room for that in a unit that depends on its nurses working closely together like we do.

I agree that talking to a nurse you trust is a good idea, but be careful. People have friends in strange places- you don't always know who's friendly with each other, especially if you're the "lowest on the totem pole" or new to the unit. Also, you have to consider that not all nurses believe in doing anything about that kind of thing- some will just brush it off as, "Oh, that's so-and-so for you...she's always been like that." and then nothing gets accomplished. You have valid concerns, and I say bring them directly to a manager. This is NOT allowed at any place that I have ever worked at, and people have gotten severely reprimanded for being caught doing just what you've described. Good luck; let us know how it turns out!

[renerian, BSN, RN]

I would talk to my super ASAP. Your right your unit will suffer. Did you have access to an interpretor?

renerian

[MandyInMS]

People like that really peeeeeeve me :/ Not only is it unprofessional but shines a negative light on your whole unit.

I'd try to talk to this person privately in a non-confrontational manner and express my concerns. I always believe in confronting a person head-on..or at least make an attempt.Then if that doesn't work,follow chain of command. There's enough stress without you & the babies families having to deal with such negativity. Best of luck to ya :)

[prmenrs, RN]

When you're IN the situation, try to change the subject if possible, even to the point of saying, "Let's talk about this some other time [or place]."

I agree, you need to do something more long term as well. Documentation helps. Times, dates, places. Keep a log, but do it privately, when you talk to your manager, you'll have the specifics you'll need.

If you have unit meetings, you could bring it up as an agenda item. Be VERY careful of your wording. Use very neutral, general terms in this setting, don't name names. e.g., I've noticed that we're ALL getting lax about gossipping in front of parents. I'm sure we ALL want to put our best foot forward for visitors. I'm concerned about the impression we're making. We want our parents to have confidence in ALL of our staff, and to know we'll take good care of every baby, w/o regard to funding. (Most of us would be ill prepared to pay for a major problem like cardiac surgery, ECMO, a 3 or more month stay in the hospital, especially when we are young and just starting out. There, but for the grace of God, etc...)

Good Luck, and get back to us!

[Mira]

I usually keep my mouth shut when I am new to the place but when I am truly uncomfortable,I contemplate for my options(show apathy/tell her off/talk to the most professionaly behaved person/change job/request shifts avoiding working with her/change hospital/stay working with her and be like her someday,etc.),It is difficult to trust anyone,you never know somebody might be talking against someone who is actually her best buddy.I hope you have a staff meeting where each one of you are required to talk about concerns,where you don`t need to name names.Sometimes those guilty and insecure does not admit their misdemeanor but atleast they have words to ponder from the meeting. :)

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I think it would be appropriate at the time to say something like "all the other parents can hear you, and they don't need the extra stress..."or "why don't we talk about that sometime when we're less busy "

Nothing wrong with approaching her in private either, but as a newcomer you may not be OK with that. Her behavior reflects on you too, so you have every right to express your concerns.

[ainz]

I agree with saying something to this person during the offensive episode. Tell her that other people, including parents, can hear her and it undermines their trust in the nursing staff as a whole.

With all of the emphasis on customer service these days, I don't think nursing administration or hospitalwide administration would tolerate such and would probably do something about it if it was more than your word against hers or a she-said-he-said situation.

[magRN]

My feeling is you always talk to the person first! If you cann't do it in person do it by note or e-mail or something. I'd pull this gal aside and just say "ya know there are parents in the room." I've had it said to me...and it works.

Sounds to me that this co-worker of yours is needing a change or maybe needs to talk something out. I don't think most people set out to be rude or mean...it's ussually a sign of something else.

Be aware you cann't contro others only yourself.