BlueYYsRN

I shouldn't have looked at this thread right before hubby brings home dinner. Wound care is so not my thing!

When the former micro preemie, trach chronic kid comes back to visit as a walking talking smiling three year old.

I can't post much of anything that is affirmative right now. I went back in last night and realized I would not be able to attend the funeral because I worked last night and the funeral is today at 2:30, its over an hour away and I have to go back in tonight. I went in last night and had one of the sickest kids in there, she should have been one-on-one but because of staffing I had to have another baby with her. That had nothing to do with admin. We just dont have the staff for all these one-on-one babies right now. I feel like a hospice nurse without the understanding that this is the end. If this little one survives it will be a miracle. One of the neos (who came in extra because our acuity) commented on how rough I looked before I left. I never sat down last night. I actually had another nurse pushing a chair under me to make me sit down while I charted. I feel like my report was very lacking. My mind just felt numb. Thank you all for listening and for all your good thoughts. It will get beter. I am just so emotionally tired right now.

The third baby passed yesterday morning at 0100. I had a long talk with my nurse manager yesterday and she was very supportive and told me I had done a wonderful job taking care of all those sick babies. It was really nice to hear and it was really nice to vent. For the 9 month old we are going to take our time and put together a scrapbook for his mom. We tend to take alot of pictures and I know we have many of him. The staff will write their own recollections and thoughts in there as well. This will be the second time we have done this since I started working there almost 4 years ago so I guess its good it doesn't happen that often. Thank you all for being there and being so supportive. Internet hugs are just as comforting as real ones.:icon_hug:

My husband and I went to the local comedy club tonight...we had a great time and laughed alot. When I got home I saw that my nurse manager had called and when I called her back she told me that my baby had died about an hour after I left this morning. I will attend this funeral but I don't really know what to say to this mom. I sat by this babys bedside most of the night. I was the last nurse she saw him with alive. This is the worst of our world.

Last pay period I put in 105.5 hours. Being part-time I am nowhere near that amount this pay-period...Thank God! In these last three weeks I have had the sickest of the sick and the saddest of the sad. One baby is already gone from overwhelming staph A. Those of you who know what that does knows how horrible and revolting it is. Think of a neonatal burn patient. Another with chromosomal defects that are really rare. Term. PPHN. Blown up like a tic. No urine output for WEEKS. Parents blindsided and angry, directing it at the medical staff. She is now partial code...meds only...but she keeps hanging on. She wont make it...its just a matter of when. The third is a boy who has circled the drain so many times we thought he must be invincible. He has been with us for 9 months. His Mom has witnessed everything to the point you want to shield her from it because you truly care about her and what she has gone through so far just to see it probably end this way. Last night,as I was bagging him for a HR in the 60's and sats in the 50's, she calmly explained to her mother what we were doing. I'm thinking ***??!! How can she be so calm while I am trying to be cool and not shake like a leaf? God Bless Her. Last week there was a big debate over whether we should send him to PCN. Full feeds, nasal canula. He has been with us for nine months. He finally wore out and coded. Cor Pulmonale. I have had to care for him for the last two nights. HFJV, iNO, drips...you never know when he will try to die or for what. I started the shift bagging him and ended the shift bagging him. I dont care what anyonyone says...if you bagging a kid on iNO you are getting alot of NO in your own system. By 0640 I wanted to sit down and cry. I had to stop myself from melting down right there. I can't help but to stop and wonder if anything I did different would have helped. I know I did the best I could. Now I am at home and wish I could just cry but all I feel is numb. I turn 40 tomorrow, I hoped it would be a happy birthday but right now I just want to cry and can't. Thanks for listening I think I can cry now.

Our unit is very sad right now. One baby we had with us for over five months and had been discharged home a few weeks ago came back through the ER coding and was later taken off life support. Another we have had for six months was set for discharge on Friday but started getting sick a few days ago and ended up reintubated on nitric and not expected to make it. Sometimes it seems so unfair to work so hard and invest so much in the babies and the parents just to lose the baby months down the road. Sometimes the sad things feel like too much to bare. But I think God was looking out for us this time because before everything started happening the other night a familiar face peeked through the door. She asked if I remembered her and I told her her face was familiar. Then she said come here I have something to show you and she said her son's name and I knew right away who she was. There in the hallway was a perfect 3.5 year old boy who had been the first child I had ever cared for on a jet vent. He was standing there holding a teddybear smiling and talking...just perfect except for the small scar on his neck where his trach had been. She had been a very nervous mother and I had been a very nervous orientee back then. I have seen and done so many things since I started this job...good and bad...but there standing before me was the reason we do it. That mom will never know how the timing of her visit helped us with our perspective in dealing with the sad part of our job.

{{{Elizabells}}} Sweetie, first of all I am sorry you feel like a burden to the nurses you are assigned. Its nothing personal. Secondly, its always difficult to lose a patient you have been working with. Thats when reality hits you in the face that we dont have control over everything. Take time to consider the good you did and that you made a difference. Have a long talk with your preceptor when she gets back and I am sure it will help you sort it all out.

My motto is..."If you can talk to me then I probably can't take care of you." When another non-NICU nurse says it, I tell them how much I admire them because adults scare the hell out of me. I really love my babies. Its all about seeing them get better and the special moments along the way. Sure, it tears your heart out to lose one but thank God that doesnt happen that often. When it does then I consider it a small price to pay to be able to do such an important job and like a previous poster said, its always meaningful.

We dont host memorials but we do try to attend them. We will try to put something together for the parents if possible, especially if the child was with us for a long time. We have a digital camera and try to take pics of the kids as they grow. I,too, have wondered what to do for parents that is in a nonreligious nature because of the diversity we see in religons. One thing I have seen that seemed to fit is a butterfly release.

I work part time in NICU. I work 12 hour nights and I love it! I work 2 12's a week including every third weekend. This is great because if I work my schedule right I get a long stretch off every month (like 10 days).

You are right on. Maybe it would help if we stopped insulting each other. Am I "blue collar trailer trash" because I am a Registered Nurse who obtained an ASN before taking the same boards as the nuirse who obtained a BSN? I generally dont even respond when this comes up but I must say this old argument is insulting.

[ And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken. :rotfl: Poor chicken:rotfl: Im sure it wasnt funny when it happened but OMG!:rotfl: What have you done to deserve such karma???

We had a case several months ago (we really believe the family brought it in) and it was determined that the child had to be 1:1 until d/c. The infection control people said if another case came up we would have to be reported to the state. We were so busy and it really took a toll on staffing when you had to have one "dirty" nurse every shift. There were some staffing issues with our step down unit the other night and our doc suggested that we bring the rotavirus kid into the NICU. AAAARRGGHHH! :nono: Thats when we realized we didnt have a specific unit policy for rotavirus isolation. I am sure we will soon though.

What kind of isolation do you do for rotavirus? Are these babies 1:1?