It's 1:30 am! My test is at 9am this morning and I am so excited for it! Not nervous so much as just really anxious in a good way and ready to get it started! I wanted to thank everyone for all the guidance, the good vibes, the cute anecdotes and the tips along the way! This NCLEX is a LONG time coming for me. I graduated nursing school eight years ago. Eight LONG years ago. Went through a really ugly divorce and had not been able to afford to take my NCLEX at the time. Before you knew it, life took over...and eight years went by. I was working all the while as a Medical Assistant, but it's not the same thing as knowing you could be an LPN or RN...if only you had the time, means and desire to follow through.
I attempted to go back to take it many times over the years and forever made excuses why I couldn't. Not enough time. Too much work. The kids were too little. Not enough money. Content with my job. Too many years passed, so forget it.
Any excuse I could dream up, I used.
Eventually, you run out of excuses and know when it was time to run head on into your dream. I was fired from my job just before Christmas, due to a clash of personalities with my office manager (small dermatology practice). Instead of being down and doubtful about my future...I said, you know what, Cher? You have the time now. You aren't working. The kids are now 11 and 19. You have the money. You have a fabulous new husband who really supports you and loves you. And the years that passed? Well, now is the time to put a stop to it. Don't wait one more day.
In the past 6 weeks, I have done over 4000 questions. I think I know more now than when I was in nursing school. And finally, the big day has arrived. Only a few more hours til I take this exam. I feel confident, excited and eager.
I also know that if for some reason I should fail...I am proud of myself for at least making the attempt to go forward. And that is what I want to say to all you nurses to be. If you fail, forgive yourself. It's a lot to swallow all at once. It's high pressure. It's overwhelming. But, it doesn't mean you aren't meant to be a nurse. You have the passion and the drive, the conviction and the love. You got through nursing school for a reason. Don't let a test dictate who you are and what you are good at. You are probably an amazing nurse...just a lousy test taker.
Be good to yourselves. Dream big. Reach for it. And, if you fall short, take the time out to study more and reach again. Don't be afraid to keep trying. Failure only comes to those who never attempt to try. Just by signing up for your exam, getting your ATT and setting a date, you are already taking a huge step into your goals. That is so brave. Sitting in front of that computer, facing the unknown is remarkably courageous.
Remember what you are made of. You are compassionate. You are strong. You are driven. You are loving. You are able and capable. You are smart. You are giving your life over to the service of others in need.
More than anything, you are WORTHY and VALUABLE. Never lose sight of the fact that no matter who you are, someone out there loves you. Someone is inspired by you. Someone needs you. Someone trusts you.
That is the true measure of a nurse. Not a test. The real test...is faith.
Stay strong, stay focused and stay the course. You were meant to be a nurse. Never let your self esteem dwindle to the point where you are second guessing yourselves.
I hope you all will think of me tomorrow. I will definately be thinking of all of you and how I know you will all be here to support me, pass or fail, and guide me through this time. I keep everyone here in my thoughts continually. I think that the support this group gives to one another is so inspiring.
Thank you all for playing such an amazing role in the lives of others.
