So for all of you repeat NCLEX-RN takers.... let me tell you from experience, DON'T EVER GIVE UP!!! I took NCLEX for the 5th time (yes, it's true) on Aug. 31st. It had been a VERY LONG road to that point, and I was actually ready to throw in the towel. However, nobody had given up on me but me. I was tired and worn out, my confidence was in the toilet, and quite honestly I didn't think I was smart enough to pass this damn test! It had been over a year since I had graduated, I was the second to the last one left to pass, and ALL of my classmates had moved on; either with a job or continuing their schooling, so I was feeling very alone, and very depressed. I had done Hurst Review TWICE (once online, and once live), done NCLEX 4000, Exam-Cram, Saunders, Davis RN-NCLEX & Kaplan review books, and a few others, and I still hadn't passed. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me that I couldn't pass this test and move on with my life. I continued to study, although I wasn't very driven, and had ALOT of self-doubt. I scheduled my exam, but then rescheduled. I had so much anxiety over this test that just talking about it made me panic and freak out. Understand, that I was smart and a very GOOD student throughout nursing school, and normally pretty calm, but this test had turned my world UPSIDE DOWN. So, I had rescheduled my test once again to the very last possible time - I was trying to be strategic. If I failed again, then I would still be able to retest before my application with the board had expired, but this was my absolute drop dead date. I had no choice but to take it, and I was feeling again that I wasn't ready and I couldn't possibly pass it. After all, the odds and statistics that everyone was posting were against me, right? I was too scattered and overwhelmed with all of the resources I was trying to use, so I needed to cut it down to a couple of different study aids and focus on them instead of running around in circles. I chose Hurst for content, LaChariy for prioritization/delegation questions, and NCLEX 3500 for questions that came from all across the board. I then limited my study time to 2-3 hours of QUALITY study time per day. I used my first hour for reviewing content and then used my other 1-1/2 hours for concentrating on questions. In my past testing experiences I had gotten to upper level questions, but just wasn't getting how to prioritize. I didn't care what kind of scores I was getting, but made sure to read all the rationales. And I did this everyday until test day. Also, I started telling myself yes, I can, whenever I doubted that I could pass, or came up against a question that I had a hard time with. The week before I tested I met with a friend of my sisters who did some visualization and sports psychology with me about my anxiety and how I was going to be when I went in to take this exam for the last time. He completely believed in me, understood the pressure I had put on myself, and the anxiety I felt when I uttered the words NCLEX. He had me focus on breathing, closing my eyes and telling myself, "YES, I CAN" whenever I came to a challenging question and then telling the NCLEX lady that I was smart and I knew SOMETHING about this question. I prepared myself to be there for 6 hours, for 265 questions and to do the absolute best that I could with each and every question. Well, I WAS there for the whole 6 hours, got 188 questions, and wasn't sure about how to answer the last question that I got. It was a pharm question and I sat there for 15 minutes looking at it because I didn't want to answer it. I was going to sit on it and let myself time out and then be done, knowing I had done the best and gone the longest I had ever gone!! Well, it wouldn't let the TA log me off until I ANSWERED the question, so I sat for another 5 minutes and broke down the drugs into categories and tried to match them with the s/s I was given. I chose the one that didn't seem to match even though I was STILL not absolutely confident that that was the correct answer. I left the testing center exhausted and famished. I had taken a break every hour, taken snacks, gone to the bathroom, did calisthenics, drank water & a soda.... everything!! I went home and was proud of myself for going so long and doing that many questions, but was still very apprehensive about how I had done. My friend bugged me for the rest of the afternoon to do the PVT trick, but I was too scared to try it. What if it went to the cc page like it had done the past 4 times? After about 4 hours of agonizing, I went to do the PVT trick..... it kept sending me through pages, so I was convinced that I was about to hit the cc page again, and then, I got something I had never seen before. The pop-up came up telling me that I had already been scheduled for this exam and that I needed to contact my BON - OMG!!! I GOT THE GOOD POP-UP!!! I started screaming and scared the heck out of my kids, and they were like, Mom are you okay? I said,yes I'm more than okay - I got it, I got it!! They knew EXACTLY what I was talking about and yelled, Mom, you passed your test, right? I couldn't believe it, and burst into tears. I had FINALLY beaten everything that had held me back and passed. I wasn't going to be completely satisfied until I saw my official number on the BON. Which, I had to wait until the following evening because I went out of town the next morning bright and early. My girlfriend started texting me again, and I told her she would have to check for me since I was on the road and out in the middle of nowhere.... it took her FOREVER to get back to me, so I thought, well shoot, I guess I really didn't pass and she just doesn't want to tell me. I finally got her text that told me.... you passed, you are official!! I once again yelled (in the middle of nowhere with my kids in the car with me) and was SOOOOOO thrilled that I really, truly had finally conquered NCLEX-RN!!! I'm sorry this is so lengthy, but I want ALL of you out there to know that you can pass this exam. It doesn't matter how many times you take it, you just have to believe in yourself that the bumps in the road are only bumps in the road. Don't give up on yourself because this is about persistence and diligence, it's not about brains. This will make you a better, more passionate nurse and your patient's will know and feel it because you didn't give up on yourself, and you will never give up on them!! GOOD LUCK to ALL of you out there!!! I am now an official RN!!!