Male nurse crying!!!

Nurses Men

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Hi guys,

As I was reading one of the posts about this nurse's first encounter of a patient demise and how she couldnt control her emotions and started crying, I became curious of the following:

1. How did you handle such a situation, demise of a patient you cared?

2. Did you cry? If you cried, did you go to a private place and cry while controlling yourself in front of others? If you did not cry, what was your feeling at that time?

While I usually do not cry, I believe I would cry if I am deeply affected emotionally but in a private place (I guess it is the male thing in me...lol)

Want to hear your thoughts/comments....

Specializes in Haematolgoy.

can honestly say i've never cried due to a patient i've cared for dying. not being a hard orifice or morbid or anything, i just feel that it's really important not to get to attached or emotionally charged with your patients. i'm not saying i dont connect or anything, just know where to draw the line.

recently had a 34yr old mother leave behind a husband, 4 year old and 9 week old... it totally sucks, but dealing with this kind of thing is in our job description..... No???????

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Specializes in All ICU, TBI, trauma, etc..

Do what you need to. It can and often is healthy to cry. I don't cry very much but did when years ago my son ran away from home. I do tear up when someone dies and I can see strong connections to the family or it someone I have taken care of for a while and the death just didn't seem right at the time. Do what is right for you not what others tell you that you should do as in "men don't cry". If you don't need to then don't but just express what you truly feel is right not some preconceived idea.

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im sorry your brother died.

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I have not graduated yet, I am still in clinical s, graduation is getting closer though. I had my first real experience of being absolutely helpless, and I hated it. I hated every bit of it, and at the time, it did not hit, yesterday-When I was at my clinical on the floor.

I was taking care of a ptn. who had been hospitalized since march, from a MI. and wasn't able to swallow/eat/talk ect. He was only 53, and his mother was in the room as I administered his med/food through his Gtube. His screams were not what bothered me, the fact He couldn't tell me what was wrong, or how he felt did. Later did I find out, he had a Son my age, whom I resembled, and That i reminded the ptn. of him. Helplessness has to be the worst feeling in the world, not that i cried, but that feeling is not a good one thats for sure.

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Re: "men dont cry"

"Jesus wept." John 11:35 That's my model. Always get a little misty eyed at a death because (so far just the elderly), apart from seeing the family affected, I hark back in memory to the deaths of my own parents and the emotions that evoked in me then.

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.

Of course men can cry! It does not make you less of a proffesional, it makes you a human being!

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I do not cry

maybe if they closed my favorite Golf Course

outside of that never

men dont cry

That's a pretty disgusting astatement...men DO cry, a REAL man cries!!! You are shameful.

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Real men do cry. I've seen some bad *** green berets cry. If they can cry, I sure can cry...

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.
That's a pretty disgusting astatement...men DO cry, a REAL man cries!!! You are shameful.

How far back did you go to get that quote? Tom hasn't been here for a while, and yeah, I totally appreciate that you would get that impression from his post, but you had to know the guy to get the full picture!

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Well your human and I wish more men would cry. That shows you have a heart and that you are a compassionate person. It is ok to :crying2: It is when a man doesn't cry that worries me. Go ahead and get misty eyed if you need to, you are releasing pain.

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Well your human and I wish more men would cry. That shows you have a heart and that you are a compassionate person. It is ok to :crying2: It is when a man doesn't cry that worries me. Go ahead and get misty eyed if you need to, you are releasing pain.

Hmmm, it is tough to cry in front of other men though. That takes BIG cajones... or something really horrible were they ignore that faux pas.

:( It's tough being a guy. You girls have NO idea...

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab, Hospice and Telemetry.

I once had a weekend when four residents in my LTC facility passed away. I think I had to pronounce three of them. I didn't cry BUT I have to admit it really affected me. I was really wiped out by the end of that weekend.

In particular, I had been on the phone with the son, informing him, his father was declining. Later that evening I had to call that his father had passed away. I was able to tell him, we found his father sitting up. I am convinced he actually had a smile on his face. As rough as THAT phone call was, it was easier to tell the son about the smile on his Dad's face.

Whether you cry or not isn't so important. We as nurses are privileged to be involved with our residents/patients at the end of their lives. I urge alll of you, don't hesitate to feel for the people you care for. It can be pretty rough at times but it is pretty special too.

The really tough part comes afterward when you have to take care of the processing as well as what ever your other residents/patients need. After all, the job does go on. This is when we as nurses help each other when we can.

If you can't let down at work, you CAN let down here.

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