The "inconsiderate" one

  1. 1
    hey all, hope all is well.
    Just me with a little more anxiety fuming, wondering if anyone out there relates.

    So the topic on my mind this time:

    Outside of nursing--personalitywise, i generally keep to myself. but i make sure that whenever approached im as friendly and as helpful as possible--sometimes it scares people because they tell me im not at all how they imagined (i have a severe case of angry-face)

    but because i keep to myself so much, im really not used to seeking out people to assist--that is, im really bad at asking if anyone needs help or needs anything to feel extra comfortable. i feel like this will (if it hasn't already) sunk into my nursing style.

    I try to be as helpful as possible, i'm always asking "do you need anything else" or "is there anything else i can do for you", because in all honesty, im really bad at anticipating the possible needs of others. I'm kind of bad at anticipating altogether, i'm more of a reflexive/reactive thinker. So when something goes wrong, i can handle it at a moments notice, but preventative measures aren't really my forte.

    I guess by definition this would make me "inconsiderate" because im really bad at "considering" the needs of others, even though im more than happy and willing to oblige.

    Does anyone else feel like they could use a crashcourse on crossing T's and dotting I's when it comes to patient comfort ?
    aTOMicTom likes this.

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  2. 15 Comments...

  3. 3
    Not inconsiderate, or this wouldn't bother you.

    familiar with purposeful rounding?
    Instead of open ended offers, you also ask if specific needs are being met

    Asking the Right Questions « Johns Hopkins Nursing Magazine
    bebbercorn, aTOMicTom, and Esme12 like this.
  4. 1
    In my experience, and it relates to culture most patients won't ask: there may also be gender issues. For example, my mother-in-law had a male nurse and she told me she was embarrassed to tell him she needed to go to the bathroom.
    I would be up front with female patients and share with them you are there to help them and if they would feel more comfortable with a female assisting with personal care you will make every effort to make that happen. That us where team work comes into play. Sometimes just recognizing the underlying feelings will ease tension and make assistance with personal care possible. Make every effort to keep privacy a priorty.
    Hope this helps.
    Hopesmom
    aTOMicTom likes this.
  5. 2
    Quote from MrChicagoRN
    Not inconsiderate, or this wouldn't bother you.
    Ha my thought exactly.
    HouTx and bebbercorn like this.
  6. 1
    Quote from jonnyvirgo
    Outside of nursing--personalitywise, i generally keep to myself. but i make sure that whenever approached im as friendly and as helpful as possible--sometimes it scares people because they tell me im not at all how they imagined (i have a severe case of angry-face)

    but because i keep to myself so much, im really not used to seeking out people to assist--that is, im really bad at asking if anyone needs help or needs anything to feel extra comfortable. i feel like this will (if it hasn't already) sunk into my nursing style.

    I try to be as helpful as possible, i'm always asking "do you need anything else" or "is there anything else i can do for you", because in all honesty, im really bad at anticipating the possible needs of others. I'm kind of bad at anticipating altogether, i'm more of a reflexive/reactive thinker. So when something goes wrong, i can handle it at a moments notice, but preventative measures aren't really my forte.

    I guess by definition this would make me "inconsiderate" because im really bad at "considering" the needs of others, even though im more than happy and willing to oblige.

    Does anyone else feel like they could use a crashcourse on crossing T's and dotting I's when it comes to patient comfort ?
    First, try to fix your case of "angryface". You don't want to scare your patients! But beyond that, even nurses who are drowning and could use a lot of help won't want to ask you for help if they think you look angry. So please, practice looking friendly and approachable. It will do your career good in the long run. You're going to find that if you habitually hang out at work with a case of "angry face," others will tend to see you as angry. Which means that the same nurse you just asked if she needed any help is going to remember that you looked angry, not that you offered to help.

    Second, most people don't respond to vague offers of "help." Many are new and inexperienced and truly cannot think of anything the exact moment that you offered to help. They may be drowning, but they honestly cannot think of what would help them out in that moment. So offer something specific. "How about if I take your vital signs and I & O in room 5?" "I'm getting dinner trays for my patients, so I'll get yours, too." "I know you've been waiting for the bladder scanner -- I'm finished with it now. How about if I scan Mr. Jones for you?"

    Pay attention to what is going on in the unit. Is someone expecting an admission or a transfer? Is there anything you can do to help with that? Offer to help set up a room, keep an eye on the admitting nurse's other patients or run to the lab or the pharmacy. If someone transferring a patient out or discharging? You know how much paperwork is involved. Offer to check on her other patients, give Mr. Jones his pain medication or even, if you have the time, wheel her patient off the unit for her. I'm sure you'll find that if you offer specific help, your help will be well received!
    Madras likes this.
  7. 1
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    So please, practice looking friendly and approachable. It will do your career good in the long run.
    Good advice. I consider myself to be a very friendly and approachable guy, but my "default" look is definitely a poker face. Sing a happy song in your head, think of a funny joke, picture puppies romping around in the grass, etc... and maybe you'll smile without even knowing it.

    Sometimes I feel like but look like .
    It's something to work on.

    Best of luck!
    elijahvirgo likes this.
  8. 2
    I'm often accused of looking angry or mean. I'm not. My default face is what it is. Can't help it. It's my face, deal with it. No one can walk around with a smile plastered on their face. Take a second to speak to me and you'll see that I'm quite pleasant.
    markspiegs and elijahvirgo like this.
  9. 0
    didnt mean to go ghost on you all. that article was really helpful. and i never thought of it that way, "not inconsiderate or it wouldn't bother you"

    some of the advice here is pretty funny too, "learn to fix your face" lol. i cant imagine walking around trying to smile at everyone all day, aside from exhausting it seems...strange.

    im on the same page with eeffoc, talk to me a bit and youll see im pretty approachable
  10. 1
    This reminds me of a YouTube video called "b*tchy resting face" quite funny but rings a bit true to those of us "afflicted" by this "condition"
    IrishErin likes this.
  11. 0
    Quote from sarahd333
    This reminds me of a YouTube video called "b*tchy resting face" quite funny but rings a bit true to those of us "afflicted" by this "condition"
    Haha I've seen that'd video too me the way


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