OK we get it STUD, you're straight - page 4
Something has been bothering me for quite some time on this forum and I have not known exactly what it was. Well I figured it out and y'all may not like it. So often when reading posts on the... Read More
Jan 15, '11Quote from bigrigcowboySomething has been bothering me for quite some time on this forum and I have not known exactly what it was. Well I figured it out and y'all may not like it.
So often when reading posts on the Men in Nursing or Male Nursing Student sections I feel like I am part of one of the most homophobic systems I have been a part of since I left the US Navy.
If I read one more post in which the man feels he must refer to himself as "Normal", "Married", "not one of them", "Real Man" etc. [not kidding, direct quotes] I am going to scream. You can say it STUD, we get it, you are straight and we're damn glad for you. [better you than me]
One question I want to ask you students is just how the hell do you know for sure which of the guys in your class are "abNormal", "unMarried", "one of them", "not a Real Man" etc. have your instructors had everyone disclose their sexual orientation during introductions? I have seen pretty well adjusted men turn up the testosterone so far when in the presence of a known gay man that they loose all sense and become flaming A**HOLES to prove that they are not "one of them". Not a way to become part of the team sparky.
Let me give all you Normal, Married, Real Men a reality check. The cold hard truth is that there are gay men in nursing. Thank goodness nursing has been a profession that really didn't care one way or the other as long as you were a good nurse. Unfortunately the schools and media in an effort to make sure everyone knows all male nurses aren't gay [Are you man enough campaign?] that it feels like we are being pushed back into the closet.
Last piece of advice and I will shut up. DO NOT ASSUME. I assure you when you meet me you will not know that I am gay; I love NASCAR, Rodeo, Horses, Motorcycles, camping, just like a real man. The only difference is that my SO is a man. The one stereotype I will admit to here is I can be one vindictive ***** and I will not be receptive to your good ole boy jokes or you making sure I know you are not "one of them".
So yes there are more and more men entering nursing which is a great thing, but like any change their will be growing pains, we need to identify them, not sweep them under the rug and hope they go away.
This stuff makes me laugh actually. I guess I'm fortunate in that I've become immune to worrying about what others thought my sexuality was. I had no choice. I would be a stark raving lunatic if it did matter to me.
1. I'm a nurse.
2. I despise beer, my fav. drink is an appletini.
3. I LOVE animated movies and enjoy the occasional romantic comedy.
4. I worry about/notice things other guys don't: If a certain picture I would like to buy will compliment my furniture.
Yeah, I get a lot of assumptions about my sexuality. Hey, I'm not afraid to admit it, when it comes to booze and usually with movies.............the women get it right.
Sometimes, when I know another male nurse is convinced of me being "abNORMAL, unMARRIED or ONE of them", I'll talk about a date I've been on recently. I don't disclose that said date was with a female though...................."We went to have sushi, then walked around the bookstore comparing literature tastes, took a trip up to the look out to see a nice view of downtown at night then went back to my place."
Ooooh, you can see them getting so uncomfortable. Then I'll wait a few days and let it slip I was out with a female. I had one guy who didn't believe me. LOL. I just love pushing buttons though.
I hope I never get in trouble for that.
Jan 15, '11Quote from Destination1I went from landscaping to nursing. I must say, I agree here completely and then some. The homophobia in landscaping was so intense..............it just made people act like if you didn't walk around with some young girl hanging from your tip 24/7 there was something wrong with you. A bit graphic, but it was seriously that bad.I am a normal, married, not one of them, real man, with kids. I am also a STUD....
Did you scream? lol
Honestly I have never felt the need to prove my sexual orientation to anyone. But I do wonder sometimes when did it become abnormal to be straight? Did you ever consider that the behavior you are seeing in this forum is simply a normal behavior of many males regardless of their profession? We have all seen construction workers, truck drivers, carpenters, golf pros, doctors, lawyers, etc... proclaim their masculinity. And when on earth did telling someone Im married or have kids make me homophobic? Is there such a thing as a straightophob? I'm sure I've meet a few.
If you notice my post before this, you can see how I had issues, but in time it'd all go away.
Jan 16, '11As a new tech on a certain unit, a female tech got the impression, somehow, that I was gay. People don't usually (ever?) get this impression from me, so I was kind of amused. I believe she was stereotyping me as a male CNA/Nursing Student, and she really should have known better, since half of the advanced RNs on the floor are men. But she struck me as a bit "off" anyway.
I actually ran with it for a while, never confirming or denying. Throwing off an "effiminate" comment here and there when she gave me report. Until a few weeks later, when the other female tech blew my cover. The first tech actually asked me outright if I was gay. The other tech laughed and said "Are you crazy? He's married with two kids!"
Jan 18, '11A major insecurity about people perceiving me as gay is what prevented me from entering the nursing profession when I was in my early 20s. I made up every other excuse in the world to rationalize why nursing was not for me: I can't stand the sight of blood, I don't want to work long hours ... you name it, I shelled it out. Even though those were not true, it worked to mask the real reason from everyone.
Now it's @ 20 years later and I kick myself a few times a month for being so stupid. Here I am in my early 40's, mature and secure in everything that I am, entering a profession that by now should have rewarded me with 20 years of incredible experience, career benefits and financial rewards to boot. All because I was scared to be perceived as gay. I sometimes feel like I wasted the last 20 years of my life in a career that was completely wrong for me and did nothing to create the image I wanted to portray to everyone. Now I want the chance to start doing what I was meant to do. If I can motivate at least one young man from steering away from the path I took to become a nurse, it will all be worth it.
The day I earn my RN will be the day I recapture my life.
Jan 28, '11Paco,
I was all set to go to medical school but didn't have the money... I was a lot younger then and didn't realize what an opportunity the field of nursing presented... I spent the next 14 years in the military first as a combat medic and after a lot of frustration and switching services i went into the wild world of electronics and a tour as military police... being my luck i loved law enforcement i planned on being a police officer but got hurt... i wouldn't be able to perform like i used to, but i also remember loving patient care and learning in the medical field as well as my dream... so now myself almost 20 years later am going into nursing... I'm going to try and take this as far as possible and do the best I can, it's not everyday you get to chase your dream... this site is partially responsible for me thinking i can... thanks guys...
Feb 1, '11I've had years of the "Why aren't you a doctor" thing, and the 'male nurse' thing. None of it really bothers me anymore, I'm at peace. It might help that I'm in Psych, one of the traditional bastions, it seems, of the not-so-traditional male nurse. And staff in psych are, not surprising when you think about, loaded with various 'issues' and we work in a pretty bizarre dramatic milieu, so these little things like straight vs gay generally get lost in the wash. I'm more interested in safe vs violent, personally.
I've also tended to be more concerned about straight issues than gay ones, given that I work in close quarters with lots of women, many of them much younger, in a culture where Middle Aged White Guy tends to be seen as some kind of monolithic ogre oppressing everyone, real issues aside, and sexual and racial harassment claims seem particularly hard to defend regardless of merit. I tend to be very careful in that regard - the last thing I want to be seen pushing is old-school macho manliness, that's just a recipe for disaster, and rather pointless in any case.Last edit by Popwhizbangz on Feb 1, '11
Feb 2, '11You're preaching about being gay in the same way that you scolded those guys for being straight. The only difference is you're doing it on a forum. Wannabe macho straight guys annoy the hell out of me too; however, gay guys that constantly talk about their sexuality when it is unwarranted is just as annoying.
You're gay, cool. Don't be a hypocrite.
Feb 2, '11Quote from TreniaEPIC FIRST POST!You're preaching about being gay in the same way that you scolded those guys for being straight. The only difference is you're doing it on a forum. Wannabe macho straight guys annoy the hell out of me too; however, gay guys that constantly talk about their sexuality when it is unwarranted is just as annoying.
You're gay, cool. Don't be a hypocrite.
Feb 3, '11Quote from TreniaI've been keeping an eye on this post for a couple of months now just for the reasons that you mentioned.You're preaching about being gay in the same way that you scolded those guys for being straight. The only difference is you're doing it on a forum. Wannabe macho straight guys annoy the hell out of me too; however, gay guys that constantly talk about their sexuality when it is unwarranted is just as annoying.
You're gay, cool. Don't be a hypocrite.
A little background on me - I'm gay, I'm a student nurse and I think I'm pretty masculine (but gay enough to pun on a regular basis ).
Who cares if a guy is into lifting weights, married, looking for a girlfriend - isn't that what some straight guys do? Aren't some straight guys masculine?
I've never ran into a person who says "I'm normal" when referring to their sexuality. I have run into people who talk about their wives, girlfriends, etc. because that person is part of their life - just like I've talked about my boyfriend because that person is such a big part of my life. But never NEVER have I ran into someone that refers to themselves as normal.
The man enough campaign has nothing to do with sexuality but more about perceived gender roles - I'm gay but I'm a man and I am manly. I was in the Army, I'm 6'2'', I carry myself in a masculine manner and talk in a masculine manner, I like to play team sports (although I have impeccable fashion tastes) and I am man enough to be a nurse. I'm man enough to deal with the perceived notion of other people that nursing is only a female job - it's not, it's a job that is for people that care. It doesn't matter if you are a female, male, straight, gay, or whatever.
Feb 3, '11Great post, metricalpound ... I would love to see the day when gay stops being perceived as someone who wants to be the opposite sex. Though I suppose that may not happen in our lifetimes. It's funny when some people are surprised to hear that some gay men actually like to be MEN and not all of them are into traditional female interests. So if a guy does not like sports, does that mean he is automatically gay? So if a guy DOES like sports, does that make him automatically straight? If a guy likes to watch America's Next Top Model, is he automatically gay? If he does NOT watch it, is he automatically straight? You get the idea ... That's the problem with our society: most people peghole way too quickly.
Feb 5, '11One of our male nursing instructors 'came out of the closet' (I'm sure there's a more PC way of saying that) during our cultural diversity day. He did this with tact and professionalism which made a positive impression among my classmates (as far as I can tell). Thought that was pretty cool.
Feb 5, '11Quote from IKnowYouRiderI understand your post but by doing this isn't he proclaiming "hey I'm different". If someone else says he's somehow "different" they are a bigot or something. It seems a little confusing. Either you are just like everyone else or you aren't. If you are just like everyone else why make an announcement ?One of our male nursing instructors 'came out of the closet' (I'm sure there's a more PC way of saying that) during our cultural diversity day. He did this with tact and professionalism which made a positive impression among my classmates (as far as I can tell). Thought that was pretty cool.