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OK we get it STUD, you're straight

Posted

Something has been bothering me for quite some time on this forum and I have not known exactly what it was. Well I figured it out and y'all may not like it.

So often when reading posts on the Men in Nursing or Male Nursing Student sections I feel like I am part of one of the most homophobic systems I have been a part of since I left the US Navy.

If I read one more post in which the man feels he must refer to himself as "Normal", "Married", "not one of them", "Real Man" etc. [not kidding, direct quotes] I am going to scream. :madface: You can say it STUD, we get it, you are straight and we're damn glad for you. [better you than me]

One question I want to ask you students is just how the hell do you know for sure which of the guys in your class are "abNormal", "unMarried", "one of them", "not a Real Man" etc. have your instructors had everyone disclose their sexual orientation during introductions? I have seen pretty well adjusted men turn up the testosterone so far when in the presence of a known gay man that they loose all sense and become flaming A**HOLES to prove that they are not "one of them". Not a way to become part of the team sparky.

Let me give all you Normal, Married, Real Men a reality check. The cold hard truth is that there are gay men in nursing. Thank goodness nursing has been a profession that really didn't care one way or the other as long as you were a good nurse. Unfortunately the schools and media in an effort to make sure everyone knows all male nurses aren't gay [Are you man enough campaign?] that it feels like we are being pushed back into the closet.

Last piece of advice and I will shut up. DO NOT ASSUME. I assure you when you meet me you will not know that I am gay; I love NASCAR, Rodeo, Horses, Motorcycles, camping, just like a real man. The only difference is that my SO is a man. The one stereotype I will admit to here is I can be one vindictive ***** and I will not be receptive to your good ole boy jokes or you making sure I know you are not "one of them".

So yes there are more and more men entering nursing which is a great thing, but like any change their will be growing pains, we need to identify them, not sweep them under the rug and hope they go away.

Edited by Silverdragon102
changed to all ****

tomc5555

Has 2 years experience.

This bias is one of the first things I noticed on the male forums. Men needing to prove their selves as masculine or 'normal' are not completely sure of themselves. If they were secure in their sexuality they wouldn't be so concerned about other men and if they are gay or not.

'Real men' don't spend that much time thinking about and posting about other men, think about it.

thanks Tom,

I was beginning to think I was just being oversensative. I also wanted to assure the "Real Men" that from what I have seen lately they sure don't have to worry about getting hit on :eek: that should put their minds at ease.

CVmursenary

Specializes in Cardiothoracic ICU. Has 1 years experience.

the media also makes male nurses look gay in general so i understand why men have a desire to express themselves as not being gay

I've posted in some of these threads, so if my use of the word normal seems to imply that being homosexual is abnormal then it was poor wording on my part. Sorry.

But I don't think that me mentioning that I am married and normal is any sort of slight on anybody else and I don't think is a roundabout way of saying I'm straight. All it is saying is that I am married and normal. I don't care who is sleeping with whom. When I say that someone is normal then I mean they aren't running through traffic with no pants on.

On another note: Really? NASCAR?

Edited by cjar107013
spelling

Anoetos, BSN, RN

Specializes in Emergency Nursing. Has 2 years experience.

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ParkerBC,MSN,RN, PhD, RN

Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.

About 95% of my friends are straight, many are male. I love hearing, “You are not what I expected.” So, clearly there is a stereotype about gay men. There are stereotypes about African Americans, Hispanics, ect…The reality is that those will continue. I do have some students from other parts of my program remind me of their orientation. To which I thoroughly enjoy responding, “I am aware XYZ that you are straight. Make no mistake that although I am gay, I have taste.”

If the straight men need their ego’s stroked and a constant reminder to themselves that they are secure in their sexuality, then let them. They have to deal with their self-esteem issues in one way or another. I refuse to find offense in their comments.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B

Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab. Has 6 years experience.

On another note: Really? NASCAR?

:lol2: I was thinking the same.

Honestly what bothers me more is the fact that Male is attached before nursing. No Im not a male nurse, I am a nurse. Is your doctor a female doctor? She isnt, ok lets drop this male crap then.

I hate NASCAR, and I'm not gay, lol.

As an aside, if you're a girl and a cop then you're a female officer. See it sticks in other jobs as well. Just like we'll all me male nurses or what we've all come to prefer "murses."

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B

Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab. Has 6 years experience.

I hate NASCAR, and I'm not gay, lol.

As an aside, if you're a girl and a cop then you're a female officer. See it sticks in other jobs as well. Just like we'll all me male nurses or what we've all come to prefer "murses."

No I have not come to prefer that at all. I think it is insulting. A female officer to me is still an officer. A female soldier to me is still a soldier. I will not add a gender label to any position simply because it is not the norm.

Yes NASCAR, I live in Georgia, it's required!! :smokin:

Mike A. Fungin RN

Specializes in Trauma ICU, Peds ICU.

I've noticed that on these forums too, but I'm don't really see what the big deal it. I can understand why some straight men, while preparing to enter this profession, might have insecurities or concerns about being perceived as less masculine or homosexual. I'm sure we're all aware of those stereotypes surrounding men in nursing. If they feel a need to compensate for than insecurity, well, that's their business. It doesn't really affect me.

No I have not come to prefer that at all. I think it is insulting. A female officer to me is still an officer. A female soldier to me is still a soldier. I will not add a gender label to any position simply because it is not the norm.

Wouldn't bother me. The gender assignment doesn't diminish the occupation.

If someone were a true homophobe I doubt they would ever become a nurse to begin with.

extermin8tor

Specializes in Aged care. Has 2 years experience.

Completely agree with OP's writeup, I think until Men get more accepted into the industry, this issue will plague the nursing field for a while simply because men are a relative oddity.

If someone were a true homophobe I doubt they would ever become a nurse to begin with.

Nursing is not excluded from arseholes, racists, homophobes and douchebags.

Nursing has maybe a higher proportion of people who are caring due to the lowly paid and difficult nature of the work, however there are an incredible number of jerk-offs just like you find on the street :(

Completely agree with OP's writeup, I think until Men get more accepted into the industry, this issue will plague the nursing field for a while simply because men are a relative oddity.

Nursing is not excluded from arseholes, racists, homophobes and douchebags.

Nursing has maybe a higher proportion of people who are caring due to the lowly paid and difficult nature of the work, however there are an incredible number of jerk-offs just like you find on the street :(

I know, I'm just saying that homophobic people tend to try to act truly masculine across the board and generally won't ever begin to pursue a job like nursing or as a hairstylist etc. Just the fact hat they decided to begin a career where people might potentially think that they are gay is a pretty good indicator that they aren't homophobic, they most likely just don't want people to assume that they are gay so they go out of their way to make it known that they aren't. Slight insecurity doesn't make someone a homophobe.

Lol, yup... men and sexuality are perceived a little different compared to women and sexuality. I don't really get the, "I need to prove I'm not gay" of the male mind/psyche. Maybe society has something to do with this.

Here's the 411: Women who aren't exactly straight are a little more accepted than gay/bisexual men. I'm not sure why it's like that.

For instance, when Stacy dates a man who is (may or may not be) admittedly bisexual and she tells her friends, she's dating him -- her friends WILL say: Girl, he's gay... what are u doing with him??

Scenario two: A female who is NOT particularly straight (may/may NOT) admit that she is bisexual/gay and decides to date a man, for some reason will not be seen as being gay. A female who dates another female is NOT necessarily gay. She's either too freaky, confused, just honestly looking for love in both sexes, or all of the above. Oh, there's also "straight women" who date "other or straight women" -- I think most people are just confused (lol).

For a man to be bisexual -- just means he IS gay! For a woman to be bisexual, NOT necessarily. This is how most of society sees it. Funny huh?

Kinda unfair, but it is what it is.

"you can go crazy all you want, just don't do it in my front yard" Smokey Yarick

seriously, we don't want to know you're gay, buddy, and we ain't gonna tell you we're straight all day, either.