Am i doing something wrong?? Plaese Help

Nurses LPN/LVN

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Ok , i recently started LPN school, i got a call from my sister, saying i should not do that program cause its about 30 hours a week, and i will barely see my daughter, i was being called selfish and materialistic cause iam attending a 12 month program, i was asked whats more important money or my 10 month old daughter,she says i want 3 cars in the driveway, she thinks cause my husband makes good money that i should stay home with my child, and i want to go to LPn school, caus eif something happens to my Husband....then we wont be well off anymore and iwil have to take care of my dauther and the finances.

I really thought that i was doing the right think by going to LPN school and now she has talked guilt into me about leaving my daughter in childcare 4 1/2 days a week. I dont understand this why do they think iam doing the wrong thing??? Cant i do something formyself? cant i better myself just cause i have a young child?? What do you all think about this mather? and have you guys had any similar experiences with family members?

Yes you are doing the right thing, i think she might be a little bit jelous!!

You dont have to live the way your sister wants you to live.

Just do whatever you think is best for YOUR FAMILY, people can give their advice, but its still your life, and iam always for people betteriing their lives, regardsless of how much money their husbands make.

Certain stay at home moms are always going to be against the working moms thinking we dont care for their kids and that they have MORE love for their kids but thats not true, everyone is diffrent, and we dont live in the middle ages of moms having to stay home, their is nothing wrong with following your own dreams and doing something for you!! you are too a person and you deserve it.

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I have not had a similar situation, but this leads me to ask questions about your sister...what is SHE doing with her life? Is she working, does she have children, or is she helping you with your child and it has become inconvienent to her? There is nothing wrong in building a future and a seperate identity for yourself. It is true, your husband may become disabled, lose his job, or anything else. You will have a skill and vocation to contribute to the household. And, you would not be too dependent on him for money. I think your sister may be envious of you for making a change in your life. Bottom line, if your husband has no issue with it, it is clearly none of her business.

She is a medical Assistant, works in a doctors office, she has 3 kids, works twice a week and the rest of the week she stays home with her kids, she is not helping me with my child, my child goes to daycare, My husband is very suportive, he has his BS degree in IT and Industrial technology so he wants me to to good for myself and follow my dream. He helps in the houshold and gets the baby ready in the morning while i get ready for school and he watches her while i study. I only have a HS diploma right now and would like to accomplish something to be proud of. LPN school is hard!!!! stressfull but i feel its worth it, iam going to open another topic about how did u make it through LPN school cause it seems sooo hard and demanding, iam still working hard and trying to shoot for straight A's.

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Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.
She is a medical Assistant, works in a doctors office, she has 3 kids, works twice a week and the rest of the week she stays home with her kids, she is not helping me with my child, my child goes to daycare, .

Sounds to me like she fears you will overshadow her by becoming an LPN.

It's between you and your husband only. Tell her to mind her own business.

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Ok , i recently started LPN school, i got a call from my sister, saying i should not do that program cause its about 30 hours a week, and i will barely see my daughter, i was being called selfish and materialistic cause iam attending a 12 month program, i was asked whats more important money or my 10 month old daughter,she says i want 3 cars in the driveway, she thinks cause my husband makes good money that i should stay home with my child, and i want to go to LPn school, caus eif something happens to my Husband....then we wont be well off anymore and iwil have to take care of my dauther and the finances.

I really thought that i was doing the right think by going to LPN school and now she has talked guilt into me about leaving my daughter in childcare 4 1/2 days a week. I dont understand this why do they think iam doing the wrong thing??? Cant i do something formyself? cant i better myself just cause i have a young child?? What do you all think about this mather? and have you guys had any similar experiences with family members?

Flower, no matter what you do in life there will always be someone standing around ready to tell you that you are doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately, it hurts most when it comes from a family member. If you and your husband are all right with your decision, that is all that matters. You love your daughter. That is obvious. Would you rather go to school and reach for your goal, and in the process show your daughter a wonderful role model; or stay at home, be bitter because you are spending your time wondering what if, and be the role model of someone not strong enough, or secure enough to go after their dreams? Your daughter is lucky that she has two parents. Many kids have a parent in school and don't get to see them that much, spending lots of that time with day care providers so their parents can get their education and provide for them. I, for one, am very proud of you, and give both you and your husband pats on the back for being so supportive and cooperative with each other. My sister is the one that thinks that nothing I do is ever good enough. Maybe we should put them together in a room and let them fight it out while we get on with life. I'm going to give you what my mother gave me: Is your sister's life so perfect that she doesn't have anything better to do than to run yours? She doesn't live in your house, pay your bills, or make any other important decisions for you. Don't let this be a first.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, gynecology.

Flowers, many posters here have given you sound advice! My thoughts are probably nothing different from what several others have said, but here is my take:

1. It is none of your sister's business--what is right for one person is not necessarily so for another, and your sister needs to grow up and realize that your life does not have to look like hers to be "right".

2. Your having a marketable, valuable, always-in-demand skill is in your family's BEST INTEREST. What if your husband became ill and could not work? Or worse, passed away? Your family would look to you to provide for their basic needs, and your nursing license is your insurance policy that your family will always be taken care of. Even if you choose to be a stay-at-home-mom after obtaining your license, keep that license current! It equals peace of mind and security for you all.

3. It sounds like your sister has a little too much time on her hands, that she can call you and ream you out about decisions that are only yours to make....hmm, maybe she should go to nursing school as well. That would solve the too-much-time-on-her-hands problem! :)

Don't look back or second-guess what you KNOW in your heart is a great decision. Good luck to you!

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Specializes in Maternity.

hi i am married and also a mother of 4 children i am currently enrolled in a 10 month LPN program:yelclap: and about to graduate in 5 wks. all i can say that it was hard at times trying to maintain a household and maintain a A average but it is possible so don't give up just remember to study and don't let negative people get in the way of your happiness good luck

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Your sister should mind her own business. For you to do whats best for your family is very important and that includes having a life of your own. Should you decide to stay at home with your children is ultimately between you and your husband no one else. Try to think into the future and think of what you will be able to live with yourself most. I have 3 children and went to school for LPN partime and worked full time. It was alot of work but I am proud of myself for gaining my LPN and I know that if I had stayed home and raised my children I may have gone crazy. I love my children dearly and miss them terribly while I am at work. But I need that time for myself to interact with people older than 2, 8, and 11. I need that time to be a good mom. Good luck.

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Thank you all for your encouraging words! I was a little confused, iam proud of myself for going to LPN school and so is my husband, it is just very sad that my sister is jelous of me, i thought she was, i just was not sure, but hearing it from other makes me belive that even more. She was talking to me as if she was almost mad that i was going to LPN school, and now she has not called me for awhile, i guess not talking to me for some reason, she will get her act together.

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You should continue with the program. It's only 12 mos right? I used to think that my kids needed me when they were younger....it's not true. They seem to have more needs past 3rd grade....

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

your sister will get over it in time and see you did a good thing. maybe she will go to LPN school. stick with it....

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Specializes in PEDIATRICS.
Ok , i recently started LPN school, i got a call from my sister, saying i should not do that program cause its about 30 hours a week, and i will barely see my daughter, i was being called selfish and materialistic cause iam attending a 12 month program, i was asked whats more important money or my 10 month old daughter,she says i want 3 cars in the driveway, she thinks cause my husband makes good money that i should stay home with my child, and i want to go to LPn school, caus eif something happens to my Husband....then we wont be well off anymore and iwil have to take care of my dauther and the finances.

I really thought that i was doing the right think by going to LPN school and now she has talked guilt into me about leaving my daughter in childcare 4 1/2 days a week. I dont understand this why do they think iam doing the wrong thing??? Cant i do something formyself? cant i better myself just cause i have a young child?? What do you all think about this mather? and have you guys had any similar experiences with family members?

GIRL, IT TOOK ME 3YEARS TO FINALLY FINISH MY REQUIREMENTS FOR THE LVN PROGRAM, I ALSO TOOK MY BASICS FOR MY RN, ANYWAYS I TOOK LONG BECAUSE I WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH MY SON N GO TO SCHOOL AT THE SAME TIME. I KNOW ITS HARD TO DO BOTH THINGS AT THE SAME TIME BUT REMEBER YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR THE BEST OF YOUR FAMILY, AND IF IT TAKES LONGER THAN EXPECTED THATS OK TAKE YOUR TIME AND MAKE YOUR FAMILY PROUD. I WAS 16 YEARS OLD WHEN I GOT MARRIED N HAD MY SON. I HAD NOT FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL YET, EVERYONE WOULD TELL ME THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF MYSELF CAUSE I GOT MARRIED YOUNG. WELL LET ME TELL YOU I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL MY SOPHMORE YEAR, GO A SCHOLARSHIP, WENT TO COLLEGE FINISH MY REQUIRMENTS FOR BOTH LVN N RN AND GOT ACCEPTED IN THE LVN AND FINALLY FINISHED. THERE ARE SOOOOO MANY PEOPLE THAT WOULD TRY TO DISCOURAGE ME ALONG THE WAY BUT I JUST HELD MY HEAD UP N DID IT 4 MY SON. I HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND THAT SUPPORTED ME ALL THE WAY. THE REASON WHY I WENT TO COLLEGE WAS BECAUSE I WANTED TO HAVE A BACKUP PLAN IN CASE MY HUSBAND COULDN'T WORK OR, GOD FORBID, SOMETHING HAPPENS. YOU ALWAYS GOT TO HAVE A PLAN B, N THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU THINKING THAT WAY. SOOO GO 4 IT, N DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL U OTHERWISE. :nurse:

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Rehab.

Do whats in your heart to do. Down the line you will have a should've, could've , would've moment and I dont think you will want to live with you didn't b/c your sister said so.

I believe it is every persons right to do what ever it takes to be happy.We owe it ourselves.As long as we are not hurting and taking from anyone to do so.:wink2:

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