Have you ever cried when a Pt died

[Topaz7]

Sorry if there is a thread somewhere on here already about this. I remember the first time one of my patients died on me. I was taking care of her and she got very sick, I was working in Assisted Living at the time so the rules here are a bit different. Anyways she was throwing up and I felt she needed to see a doctor it was pretty bad. I called our Manager on duty and she said we should wait and see how it goes. Anyways I didn't work with her again after that night but I came in 3 days later and they told me they finally sent her out to the hospital and that she died. She was in her early 40's. I lost it. I was so angry that I hadn't let myself get fired and sent her out, angry that the manager didn't send her out sooner, that maybe she would have lived if she had just gotten to the hospital sooner. I took it very hard. I began bawling and thankfully I had a nice co worker who covered my building and let me go compose myself. I cried a couple of other times, one lady I cared for was so sweet and reminded me of my grandma. Am I the only blubbering fool out here lol or has anyone else shed a tear for a patient that passed? Hospice is such a sad and hard, but rewarding and fulfilling job at the same time.

[nursel56]

Yes. Children who died never having a family to come and visit them, or outright rejected them because of their physical condtion.

Close, long-married couples when one of them dies unexpectedly. I remember one darling couple who lost the wife during open reduction of an elbow fracture. This happened in November. In December a family member dropped by her gift to the nurses with the handwritten card she'd filled out ahead of time. That was a family practice clinic so we were like family to some of them. Husband looked so lost. He died a few months later.

[wellsjc]

I've been nursing for 25 years in all kinds of settings and my motto is still " when you quit crying when you lose a patient, you need to find a new job". I have always found that my patients' families were some how comforted in seeing that the nurse who cared for their relative or friend cared enough about them to care about their passing. So go ahead and cry, it lets off the anxiety and makes you a better nurse.

[Merlyn]

Not ever at the hospital but in the car coming home.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Yes, when I was a student and it was the first time I had gone through anything like that. I didn't know the patient for longer than the one shift to which I was assigned--and she died during. But the family brought out the emotion in me, so there it was.

After that, I have had many patients who died during my time with them, and no, I did not cry. I felt sorrow many times, but actual tears...no. I just learned how to keep my emotions in check, because I figured if I let myself get torn up every time a patient I cared about died, well....I'd spend alot of time in tears. I was not without feeling for them, but I had other patients (always) when I had someone who had passed, and as charge nurse many more than that who I knew would likely need me on top of my game instead of weeping at the desk.

So while the short answer is 'yes', the more realistic answer is 'yes, once, but not again'.

[gallllatea]

no, but hasn't happened that often. I was more preoccupied with doing my job, not being emotionally wrecked.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I've been nursing for 25 years in all kinds of settings and my motto is still " when you quit crying when you lose a patient, you need to find a new job". I have always found that my patients' families were some how comforted in seeing that the nurse who cared for their relative or friend cared enough about them to care about their passing. So go ahead and cry, it lets off the anxiety and makes you a better nurse.

I have shed a few tears over the years. I agree that the family somehow feels comforted that the one who cared for their loved one genuinely cared for them personally. I save for my soul cleansing cry for the car.....but those slow escaping water drops that creep down your cheeks, as you mouth the words.........I'm so sorry, I think let the family know how deeply personal you take your job.

I also agree if you ever stop feeling it's time to leave.

[drew1106]

yes, i am working in an assisted living facility right now and you do bond with them. its normal to cry.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

We had a patient die recently that we all loved. We went to his funeral. I don't cry for all of my lost patients, but I have made a special bond with some. The last patient was the sadest yet.. It is worse when it doesn't seem fair or if you feel like you could have done something.

[wilsonbl5150]

Absolutely, I've done Acute and LTC and lost patients with both. LTC deaths were hard because I had worked with the patients for so long that I felt I really knew them. In Acute I cried because I lost a 3 year old little girl. I had helped work on her for an hour before she was called. It was later, after everything had settled down that the tears came.

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

when i use to work directly with patients, every time i saw a mother losing a young child my eyes would swell up, however, i don't cry unless is a pt. that i been taking care of for a while and gotten familiar with their family as well. however, several times i have gone to my office and behind doors i have cried like a baby, the last time was when one of our nurses lost her battle with cancer that affected me deeply, since she was my preceptor long time ago may she r.i.p.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

Yes I've started to but I just gently press on my lacrimal glands and hold it in. Why? Because it's not happening to me. My job is to the the calm in the storm. It's not my experience to have.

[Fearless_leader]

I have & I know I will again it's human nature.