I am so depressed

  1. I am thinking of leaving nursing. Forever! Yesterday at work a patient complained to her son that I refused to take her to the toilet. The son got very angry and threatening. My only saving grace was that another staff member was in the room at the time, but not visible as well as other relatives of another patient, who were behind a bed curtain. So luckily I had several witnesses. The patient asked me to take her to the toilet and I did, and I was chatty and happy etc, never saw this coming at all. She told her son I refused to take her to the toilet. I was in shock when my boss told me, I started crying, everyone was really sympathetic at work and I was even offered counselling, but I am more upset because I was very nice to the patient. I said to my work colleges and my husband when I got home, what would of happened if there were not witnesses in the room, or I was by myself etc. This incident has really shocked me, so I think I am going to quit nursing and never look back. I love working in hospitals, and have always wanted to be a nurse from when I was a little girl, I love my job but not anymore. So I am going to try and retrain myself to work in admin in the hospital system, and never go near a patient again. It's just too much stress. Thanks for listening to my vent.
  2. Visit FlyLady profile page

    About FlyLady

    Joined: Jan '06; Posts: 9; Likes: 4


  3. by   caliotter3
    You are not alone. May God Bless You.
  4. by   leslymill
    I hope you change your mind. I quit. I didn't have the support you had though. Sometimes you have to sit back and regroup. Jesus said , if they did it to me they will do it to you. Even if you and god where the only witness, sometimes you have to look at it that way. I am sooo glad you have the support you have though.
  5. by   Tweety
    I wouldn't let one incident run me away from nursing. You say you love nursing, love your job, and look how supportive your peers were. Concentrate on that kind of stuff rather than one little troll of a patient.

    I realize though there is more stress than just this one incident.

    Hang in there and best of luck to you.
  6. by   sharona97
    I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Another one reels their angry head. I think you were the better person, happy to assist! Keep the faith.


  7. by   deeDawntee
    There are many possible reasons why that patient lied about the care you gave her. None of which you have any power to change. There is probably some profound mental illness at play and she intentionally creates drama in her life to rally support from her family. OF COURSE you would be upset. To be used and manipulated is upsetting. You will occasionally run into patients like this, but to have one totally lie like that will most likely never again happen in your career.

    Don't let one ill patient and her dysfunctional family drive you away from your chosen profession. Learning to develop a sense of humor about this type of patient would be very helpful for you. And please don't blame yourself in anyway. That you are compassionate and helpful is never anything to try to change. Developing a thicker skin may help you. Did this incident trigger feelings from the past where you were lied about?

    Good luck and don't give up!!

  8. by   dcrrlb8185
    Dont be... it's not you. I have had residents and family members like this. Overall you need to keep telling yourself, it's not you. I like to put myself in the shoes of both the family member or the resident. They are unhappy. In general a nursing home or hospital is not a pleasent place to be and they are most likely projecting their unhappiness to you. Many family members feel guilty about putting their loved ones in a facility, and vent on the caretakers. Though it's not right, dont take it to heart. Good luck and dont quit!!! This job is very gratifying in it's own right though VERY stressful and overwhelming at times.
  9. by   bubbly

    There are always going to be people out there who you can't please. What helps me is thinking about the people I did help who were grateful for my service. I wish you the best of luck in your nursing career and hope that this one patient did not ruin it for other patients to have the good nursing care you provide them.
  10. by   Dori123
    I have had to deal with similar situations. I would be curious to know if the patient comes from a nursing home or receives home care. I have worked in long term care most of my life and I have discovered there are some personality types among the elderly that are very attention seeking. This was probably her way of getting more attention from her son. Often times they have nothing more to do and it can be a way for them to feel empowered. None of this is supposed to make you feel better, just understand the possible underlying cause. I am a geriatric nurse and really enjoy what I do, but I regularly encounter resident's whom I suggest 2 staff go in the room to assist when ever possible (isn't always practical.)
    It would be a shame if this experience caused you to leave nursing. Think of the positive responses you receive (I bet there are many more of these.)
  11. by   SuesquatchRN
    Don't let that one brat get to you.

  12. by   gypsyfirebird
    I feel your pain...may I vent? I am a float nurse in hospice home care. Yesterday, when visiting a facility to see patient, I parked in a spot labeled hospice nurse. When I came back to my car a couple of hours later, someone had parked so close to my driver's side door that I couldn't get in and there was a note on my windshield reading "you are not supposed to park here, can't you read the sign?" I went inside and asked to have the owner of the SUV paged and it turns out that there is a hospice nurse who works at this facility, not that I knew that. She purposefully parked so close to my car to make her point, stating don't you know how to read? I was trying to explain myself as she walked away from me so I was talking to her back. Once reaching the car, she would not listen to my apology or explanation, it was then that I found the note on my windshield, approached her and said, "Is this from you?" She said yes and I handed it back to her. On top of that, she would not give me any room to back out, I had to twist my car out to accomodate her, while she sat in her SUV. I mean really, how childlishly passive/aggressive...

    I immediately called my office to alert them and tell them to make a note of this in our records, no other nurse should have to go through this on top of everything else. Should I take further recourse with the facility, or should I just let it go?
  13. by   SuesquatchRN
    Quote from gypsyfirebird
    Should I take further recourse with the facility, or should I just let it go?
    Recourse from what? That someone was nasty to you?

    Let it go.
  14. by   Alois Wolf
    It's not your fault. Some people do strange things for many reasons.... please don't let one instance cause you to not be able to affect others lives in a positive way. You have a great profession and I'm sure you're great at what you do because just from reading this post I can tell your a conscientious and caring person. Keep up the fight! Take a day out for yourself and go do something you enjoy!