I am so depressed

MQ Edna · Nov 14, 2007

It's not your fault. Some people do strange things for many reasons.... please don't let one instance cause you to not be able to affect others lives in a positive way. You have a great profession and I'm sure you're great at what you do because just from reading this post I can tell your a conscientious and caring person. Keep up the fight! Take a day out for yourself and go do something you enjoy!

debbie54 · Nov 20, 2007

dont give up

martymoose, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2007

I sympatize with the op's concern. i find myself in the same position also. It is the fear that a situation such as this could be the end of your job.With all this "pleasing the customer" bs going on, the term " the customer is always right " will probably start popping up more and more. So if said customer thinks they were wronged, then employer has the option to please customer. I t doesnt matter that pt might be manipulative, or whatever. The point is the family is going to want satisfaction- even if op did absolutely nothing wrong!!!!She's afraid she's going to lose her job cause of this. Its probably better to quit now! And I'm right behind you.

I wish I had known this before i went 12,000 dollars into debt for a nursing degree.

Jessiedog, RN · Nov 22, 2007

I am thinking of leaving nursing. Forever! Yesterday at work a patient complained to her son that I refused to take her to the toilet. The son got very angry and threatening. My only saving grace was that another staff member was in the room at the time, but not visible as well as other relatives of another patient, who were behind a bed curtain. So luckily I had several witnesses. The patient asked me to take her to the toilet and I did, and I was chatty and happy etc, never saw this coming at all. She told her son I refused to take her to the toilet. I was in shock when my boss told me, I started crying, everyone was really sympathetic at work and I was even offered counselling, but I am more upset because I was very nice to the patient. I said to my work colleges and my husband when I got home, what would of happened if there were not witnesses in the room, or I was by myself etc. This incident has really shocked me, so I think I am going to quit nursing and never look back. I love working in hospitals, and have always wanted to be a nurse from when I was a little girl, I love my job but not anymore. So I am going to try and retrain myself to work in admin in the hospital system, and never go near a patient again. It's just too much stress. Thanks for listening to my vent.

I do understand. I have been in similar situations. I was once accused of unsatisfactory behaviour by the mother of a child I was nursing. I did everything I could, smiled, helped, gave reassurance, fed the child, dosed with panadol (acetaminophen, I think in the US), and was still cited in an official complaint. I even printed off the complaint form for the mother so she could fill it in!!! There was NOTHING I could do that would have helped. She accused me of laughing at her while she was dealing with her distraught toddler. I left the ward crying that evening.

The next day my manager confronte me, asking what had happened. I explained as honestly as I could, and the response I got was a filthy look. My manager stated "Perhpas you should look at your attitude! I'm not very impressed!" This was despite seven years service on the same ward, with NOT ONE previous complaint, and even several patients commending me.

One thing I learned was that the only thing I could be certain of was my own integrity, and that I could not compromise that. I KNEW I had done nothing wrong, but could not rely on my fellow workers to back me up. My decision was to keep on nursing. I was not going to let this bad experience chase me away from a job I loved and knew I was good at. I came to the conclusion that in this day of legalism, there will always be a scapegoat. There will always be a person the hospital can blame if anything goes wrong, because then their answer will be "Well, we've disciplined the staff member, and this situation will not occur again." Too bad for the 'disciplined' staff member, tho. One thing I can say, that whenever you work with people, there will be friction.

Before you make your decision to leave Clinical Nursing, add up the pros & cons. Write a list of the positives and negatives you have experienced, and then decide what your best course of action will be.

Take care, my sister.

May God bless you in your time of trouble.

I love my cat! · Nov 22, 2007

Like the others stated, it is not you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Some people are just selfish and rude. What a miserable way to go through life. They are that way to everyone, but even though they are, it can still be hard not to take their outbursts personally. When you are working so hard and trying to do your best and as a result, you might lose your job.....it is indeed a huge let down! If you are truly interested in another area of Nursing that may not have so much patient interaction (or any for that matter), you should explore it a bit. There isn't any harm in that. Remember, the scenario that you experienced will happen again...a lot. Personally, I think that it is this treatment from others that drives a lot of Nurses out of direct patient care or Nursing in general.

I mean, I can't think of any other job that allows their employees to have to put up with the abuse that Nurses do.

I had many jobs prior to Nursing. If I ever encountered a problem, I always seemed to have my boss/manager/lead listen carefully to my side of the story and as a result, I was always supported....even if I did make the mistake. We are all human. For example, when I was 16 and worked at a fast-food restaurant I made a mistake on some idiots order and he went ballistic. My manager could have easily attacked me, put me down and sided with the customer, but he didn't.

WOW! Did I ever get a shock when I started Nursing. I assumed we would be even a tighter knit of people supporting one another through thick and thin. Unfortunately, it has not been my experience. I have never met to many people that are so quick to blame someone else, the other shift, etc.

As jrwest stated, facilities want patient satisfaction......most would rather keep the obnoxious patient than the Nurse. Although it may happen in some places, I personally have never seen a facility get rid of the difficult patient & their p.i.t.a family and keep the Nurse.

Good luck and remember that you are a good person and a good Nurse!!