Nurse Manager is a Bully

Specialties Geriatric

Published

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

On Tuesday, I received a call at home from my nurse manager (who barely accepted this position 3 weeks ago). She stated, "I found some things on your hall over the weekend, and I need you to come in this week so I can counsel you in the presence of the DON."

I was straightforward and asked her, "Are y'all planning to terminate my employment? This is the second or third call I have received since you took over a few weeks ago." She said that they weren't planning to fire me, but wanted to counsel me in the presence of the DON.

We agreed to meet Friday, but I telephoned her this morning and said, "I cannot meet tomorrow, so we'll have to reschedule for next week." She was imperative that I talk to her in person before the weekend arrived, but I made up excuses and refused to do so. She finally said, "I guess I'll counsel you over the phone, since the DON is standing next to me. You're on your last straw. On Monday morning we saw that you didn't do a dressing change, so I have the choice of either counseling you or terminating your employment. I choose to simply counsel you, because we'd like to keep you around. But you're on your last straw here, and I'll fire you for anything else."

I honestly did not see an order for a dressing change for this particular patient, but I digress. Here's my point: if this issue was so important and consequential to this nurse manager, she would have handled it on Monday. However, she just wanted the opportunity to accumulate brownie points in front of her DON at my expense, by attempting to meet conspicuously on a Friday morning.

Thanks for putting up with my rant. This is a thankless job. If I am fired, I'll just bounce to another facility.

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get another job, they need you more than you need them

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It is suppose to be some urban legend that it is a bad indication to be called into the bosses office on Friday. They either give you the boot or some kind of reprimand to mull over the weekend. Personally if I only had one straw left I'd throw it back in the haystack and get on down the road.

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Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.

sounds like someone thinks their poopie don't stink....if you missed a dressing change then admit you made a mistake and go on about it, but if they are picking on you (as we know they try to do) nip that in the butt right now or you will be the victim until they drive you to questioning your nursing abilities. i know where you work and there is a ad in the ft worth paper today for large sign on bonuses for various shifts... why is it that the good nurses are ragged on and get fired for petty bs ,then they keep the nurses that cant read the mar and walk at the same time....anyway... i had a new nurse manager once write me up for several petty things a bunch of crapola..like punching holes on the wrong side of the nurses note....???:uhoh3::uhoh3::uhoh3:. i had had enough so while i was being counseled for my unprofessional hole punching method, i had just about enough when i told her that this was the last time she was writing me up for bs and it was now time for her to turn her focus elsewhere,cause she was fixing cover me on the floor. i also told her that i was a good nurse with no absences and with her big a$$ ad in the paper that week she should be grateful. that was the end of my reign as the write up queen and i lasted 3 years after she got fired ....i'm not saying run around telling everyone off but stand up for yourself and your abilities. which sounds like you are doing good with just giving you some support... just a note i work for agency and there is a new geri acute care hospital in the cityview area called regency...they are almost completely staffed via agency ,from what i understand they had a max patient amount in the beginning when they opened in december and then a couple months later got cleared all of a sudden to open all their beds then they filled up with patients rapidly. of course they had no staff so they are using agency. now they do 12 hour shifts but i'm sure you could work any shift any time you wanted... i have never worked there but am considering it for the next several weeks. so if you decide to change jobs let me know cause i work all over and can give you some great insight to these area hospitals and nursing homes...

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
i'm not saying run around telling everyone off but stand up for yourself and your abilities.
i understand what you are saying. nurse managers seem to pick on certain people who are 'easy' targets. if i become too difficult of a target (by standing up for my abilities), then they'll likely move on and find someone else to mess with.

this is the reason why i refused to meet with the nurse manager and the don on friday. the timing was very suspicious, and i was not going to allow myself to be derided and yelled at by a young, inexperienced nurse manager in front of the don over an issue that happened nearly 1 week previously. personally, i think this nurse manager is seeking brownie points, because she would have handled the issue with more immediacy if it was truly important to her.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
It is suppose to be some urban legend that it is a bad indication to be called into the bosses office on Friday. They either give you the boot or some kind of reprimand to mull over the weekend.
Yes! This is the very reason for my refusal to meet with the nurse manager and DON this upcoming Friday. That particular day of the week seemed awfully suspicious to me, so my antennas went up. If the issue was truly significant to these people, I believe they would have wanted to meet with me on Monday, as opposed to Friday (nearly a week after the fact).
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Even if every single thing brought up by the nurse mgr is a valid criticism, I would start the thinking process about whether or not you want to stay there. I have found that there seems to be no such thing as constructive criticism. Criticism is given as a prelude to making your work life difficult and at some point someone wants you miserable and/or gone. If this person is only trying to gain brownie points and show that she knows how to criticize subordinates, then I would wonder if it is worth being one of her targets. Everyone has the right to feel comfortable, if not good, about their work life. Calling you on your day off for a meeting days away for a missing dressing change? Too much emphasis in the wrong manner for a non life threatening situation. Your new nurse manager is not going to win any awards for professional respect, is she? There are girls right out of high school that would be capable of understanding that there is a better way to handle the whole matter. And what they told you about the last straw? That was a threat if I ever heard one. If I were you, I would go. Period.

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You must have been with this job awhile, have a decent work ethic, noted some issues in the past, and the PTB wanted to make an example of you. I would start looking at my options for different employment, decide on what I liked best, accept the job with a starting date after a proper notice. When I gave my notice it would be a short resignation, keep a copy for yourself. DO NOT discuss issues, if they are unhappy they will gladly pay you off and that will give you a little time between jobs for some rest.

This manager will be gone before long, this facility will continue to have staffing issues, and you may find a better situation for yourself. Good luck and remember, a good nurse is not always a doormat nor a good employee by administration standards.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, gynecology.
Even if every single thing brought up by the nurse mgr is a valid criticism, I would start the thinking process about whether or not you want to stay there. I have found that there seems to be no such thing as constructive criticism. Criticism is given as a prelude to making your work life difficult and at some point someone wants you miserable and/or gone.

Very true words. I experienced exactly this in my last job (which was not nursing, I'm starting school in two months), and found that it was simply not "worth it" to persist in working under a toxic manager. Why work in such a fault-finding atmosphere where no matter what you do, your manager will find some way to criticize you? Life's too short.

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It sounds to me that the "manager" needs "managed" by the DON.

Nobody is exempt from having oversights or errors. Unfortunately, that is how we learn. Now, if this was a habitual problem for the same issue - then I could understand the whole "counsel with the DON" thing.....

This is NOT someone I would work for. I would line up another position and get out....Let her show the rest of us how it's done flawlessly!!!

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????

A DRESSING CHANGE???

Uh....aren't these places a 24-7 365 place....like 7/11??

Give me a break....man...it isn't like you left a tourniquet on a patient's arm after a blood draw....or accidently overmedicated someone....

Apparently this nurse manager has the myopic belief that nurses grow on trees everywhere, and she can fire them for the most INSANE reasons, while simultaneously hiring another....

She a bully....and delusional.....and beyond stupid.

In fact....she needs a license for being that stupd.

ouch.

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ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????

A DRESSING CHANGE???

Uh....aren't these places a 24-7 365 place....like 7/11??

Give me a break....man...it isn't like you left a tourniquet on a patient's arm after a blood draw....or accidently overmedicated someone....

Apparently this nurse manager has the myopic belief that nurses grow on trees everywhere, and she can fire them for the most INSANE reasons, while simultaneously hiring another....

She a bully....and delusional.....and beyond stupid.

In fact....she needs a license for being that stupd.

ouch.

I thought the same thing when I read the OP's post. This is way overkill for a dressing change. Hey Commuter, maybe this manager is secretly in love with you and seriously trying to get your attention. Either that or she's a bit on the crazy side. If she's repeatedly making threats that you're on your last straw there then that's your cue to find employment elsewhere and quit the place.

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