I smell a rat......
I am sorry you are involved in this....but from experience I would prepare for the worse. I find it strange you are told not to come to work pending further investigation if you weren't apart of the investigation itself. It does appear that the ADON is tossing you under the bus in lieu or her bad advice to you to save her own hide. I'm afraid your boyfriend may be right.
Do you have malpractice insurance
? I would contact them and request to speak to someone in the legal department. As a part of having malpractice is the ability to have legal council is one of the benefits. If you don't....get some. It won't help you now but it will in the future and no it doesn't mean you'll be more likely to be sued......I had malpractice insurance for at least 20 years and the only contact I ever had with them was to pay the premium......but it was worth the peace of mind.
Having the ADON tell you to document nothing is a real problem. When all is said and done, I would look for another position. This facility obviously doesn't have proper management staff and are willing to make cuts in some unscrupulous palces. You need to document, document, document. In the chart you document that the patient may have increased confusion due to c/o being "hit" with by unknown individuals with no apparent injury that the MD, DON or supervisor notified. Then fill out an incident report (which is true you don't mention this document in the charting). This way the incident report would have the paper trail of what your actions were in follow up ie: calling the ADON, speaking with the familyect.
The reporting of "suspected" abuse is a federal mandate with each state having their variations as to whom to report to....whether itis DPH or the states elder services.
to not report "suspected" abuse is a violation of the law. If you feel no abuse really occured....I would possibly wait to file the elder abuse forms but the incident report I would have filled out before I left the facility and I would as a ADON would have advised any employee to do the same.
Right now write eveyrthing down that you remember right down to times and names(initials) and keep it in a safe place in case you need it later. I hope this all turns out ok and you don't get fired.....but I would star looking for another job......but don't quit before you have anoher job. It's easier to find a job when you already have a job.