Having a family member as a patient

Specialties Geriatric

Published

What are some thoughts on having a family member as a patient/resident? Are you fine with that? Uncomfortable being a family member's primary nurse? Or would you prefer to be that person's nurse? How should the admissions nurse/dept handle that?

Just recently a gentlemen was admitted to the wing. He's a Medicare patient and this is a long term wing so why he was moved off the Medicare wing is beyond me. His daughter is the primary nurse for the PM shift. She is actually very upset he was placed on our wing. No one spoke with her ahead of time and asked her how she felt about having her Dad as a patient. She does not have a good relationship with him, hasn't for many years. And since he was moved to the wing he has really monopolized her time and was on the light constantly and asking the aides to get her or to talk to her before they did anything with/for him.

I can understand why she'd be upset. I don't think any nurse should be expected to be there immediate family member's nurse..

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Your friend's dilemma is exactly why one should not be assigned to a relative, or better yet, why that relative should not be assigned to the same unit. We have had relatives in our LTC facilities, but it never posed a problem.

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Specializes in LTC and Pediatrics.

I think she should work up the ladder to get the man moved. She should not have to switch wings due to a manipulative father on her wing. I only see it as a volatile situation and unsafe for all the other residents there. While it can and does work to have a relative on your unit, it isn't always good as you have seen in this situation.

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Isn't it a widely accepted ethical/professional boundary in healthcare that we shouldn't be caring for family members (or anyone with whom we have an existing personal relationship)? I, personally, would not comfortable with that at all. Nor would any employer I've ever worked for (in acute care, not LTC) find it appropriate to have staff caring for family members or friends.

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Isn't it a widely accepted ethical/professional boundary in healthcare that we shouldn't be caring for family members (or anyone with whom we have an existing personal relationship)? I, personally, would not comfortable with that at all. Nor would any employer I've ever worked for (in acute care, not LTC) find it appropriate to have staff caring for family members or friends.

I agree.

My father-in-law was admitted hospice before he died at the beginning of this year. I opted out of being the nurse and wanted to be the daughter-in-law only. My colleagues were supportive of this but some of my family members were not.

They wanted me to come out to the house and explain hospice to everyone. They wanted me to be the one to call them if there were issues. It was rather frustrating.

When my father-in-law died at 4:30 a.m. the phone rang and the hospice nurse asked to speak to my husband and she told him so I wouldn't have to be the one to do so.

Very grateful.

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Specializes in ER, Med-surg.

I would be incredibly uncomfortable being the primary nurse to a family member- I'm on excellent terms with my family, but I would second-guess my ability to be focused and objective about all of my patients while trying to care for someone I love. Plus if someone I love is sick, I want to be able to be there for them as a family member. Advocate for and assist them in the hospital, sure, but actually nurse them? Heck no.

Your friend's situation sounds even worse- I can't imagine trying to care for a difficult parent one wasn't on good terms with, while also maintaining professional composure and attending to the rest of your assignment.

No matter how you feel about your family, it's an ethical and logistical nightmare.

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Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.

It's my understanding that most if not all facilities have policies against nurses caring for their own family members. It can be a privacy concern as well as inappropriate. I worked with a nurse who had 2 very sick parents. They were in and out of the hospital very frequently and while the bed manager tried her best to avoid it, a few times her mom or dad would get admitted to our unit. The daughter was never the primary nurse but even just knowing that she was on the unit made her mother a very difficult patient. She would call out her daughter's name instead of using the call bell and when her nurse or CNA would respond and ask what she needed she would say "I need to see Daughter!" We tried explaining to her many times that Daughter wasn't her primary nurse and therefore had her own patients to deal with, she would start screaming and crying. It was a nightmare. This woman wasn't confused or anything either, just wacky.

I don't blame your fellow nurse for being upset about her dad being on the unit. It never should have happened in the first place.

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Well it's not going well so far.. My fellow nurse (the daughter) is hesitant to say anything about how she feels to management. I spoke with one of the gals in social services myself and her first response was that this nurse needed to speak with our scheduler to have her moved! I pointed out that she's the primary nurse it's not as simple as just assigning her to a different hall. The next response was "well the social worker isn't going to move him because he's nurse's dad!"

I brought it to the DON's attention and she sided with the social workers! I was kind of dumbfounded!

This poor nurse was in tears before the shift even started! She said her dad has now progressed to calling her names and telling the CNAs personal things about her and airing their dirty laundry!

It really angers me that the DON and social services basically said she needs to "suck it up." I can't imagine being in her position and feeling frustrated before the shift even starts.

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This is extremely unethical. It is creating a hostile work environment for the nurse. It is compromising care of other patients. He is compromising her integrity. It also can be seen as a HIPAA violation as she is most likely not the person of contact.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.
Well it's not going well so far.. My fellow nurse (the daughter) is hesitant to say anything about how she feels to management. I spoke with one of the gals in social services myself and her first response was that this nurse needed to speak with our scheduler to have her moved! I pointed out that she's the primary nurse it's not as simple as just assigning her to a different hall. The next response was "well the social worker isn't going to move him because he's nurse's dad!"

I brought it to the DON's attention and she sided with the social workers! I was kind of dumbfounded!

This poor nurse was in tears before the shift even started! She said her dad has now progressed to calling her names and telling the CNAs personal things about her and airing their dirty laundry!

It really angers me that the DON and social services basically said she needs to "suck it up." I can't imagine being in her position and feeling frustrated before the shift even starts.

I am so sorry. This should never have been allowed to happen in the first place, and then to have management be so unsupportive is adding insult to injury. This is definitely a good reason to look for a different job

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