Funny things our patients say

  1. 6
    i was at the med cart crushing medications... one of my patients w/Alzheimers was sitting by the med cart which is her norm... as im crushing the med its a bit noisy from the constant banging... resident says, "well damn you must be very mad"..... too funny!

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  2. 13 Comments...

  3. 3
    I work on a med surg floor and was taking care of a older patient with hallucinations. He was seeing spiders and bugs all along the walls. As I was trying to reorient him and show him nothing was there, RT walked in to give a breathing treatment. or as the patient saw it... "Oh good, the exterminators are here!" Took a long time to convice him the vapor from the breathing treatment was medicine and not bug spray!
  4. 1
    I was getting report in the morning at the nurses station, and apparently this one little old man thought we were just chatting, so he said "Get your head out of Hollywood and get to work." Never heard it phrased quite like that before! LOL
    anotherone likes this.
  5. 1
    Upon transferring a LOL who didn't think I was strong enough: "You handle me like a midget!"
    Adeleye likes this.
  6. 1
    I have the cutest little guy that is mostly confused but for some reason always remembers I'm the boss. Everytime I pass him he will yell out "Boss lady. Gotta tell you something"..he then proceeds to point to the closest staff member and just comes up with a completely outrageous story that that person has done. Today it was the activitiy assistant who he pointed to and loudly said "She's just been sitting on her arse all day". He tells me like it is some big secret, although he is rather loud about it, but it's as if he is helping me keep staff in line. He grins the happiest little smile when I tell him everyday I couldn't do my job without his help. Luckily the staff find him cute too and almost like to hear what he can make up about them.
    ElSea likes this.
  7. 0
    I've been a nurse for nine years and have heard patients and residents say a LOT
    of funny things, but STILL nothing beats some of the things I heard as an aide
    working in Med Surge...

    And admins, PLEASE excuse the implied language; it's necessary to convey the humor.

    Myself and another aide walked into this old lady's room one day... MEAN, crochety
    old lady... she looked at us and said "Girls... have you EVER had to take a really
    good s**t????" She then went on to say that she hadn't "been" in about a week.

    There was this other little old man that would ring his call light, and when you
    would answer it his would yell "I gotta S******T!!!" Once I answered the light
    and he said "Come back here now, I'm 'bout to poop mah panties!"
  8. 1
    There's a little old blind man on my floor who's always sitting by the nurses station. Everytime he hears me go by with the med cart he yells out "here he comes with the pill wagon!" I don't know why, but the phrase "pill wagon" cracks me up every time. I now call it that instead of "med cart"
    anotherone likes this.
  9. 3
    Last weekend, my co-worker complimented one of our residents on her blouse, telling her, "Oh, it's very summery and pretty. Where did you get it?" The resident responded, "From my closet, you dumba$$!" We howled!!!!
  10. 0
    I'm a new nurse on an LTC unit. One day I was making conversation to get to know one of my elderly ladies. One thing she told me about herself: "I like ice cream as much as I like the boys!"
  11. 3
    I used to be an aide on a LTC unit. As I was tucking a gentleman into bed for the night, I said, "You look so cozy." He said, "Well, come on in! I know a couple more girls we could call, too."
    ElSea, Anne36, and LTCangel like this.

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