Funny & Cute Things Our Demented Patients Say - page 4

by TheCommuter Asst. Admin

16,041 Visits | 73 Comments

Anyone who works around the demented elderly population can attest to the fact that they sometimes say the darndest things. Mr. Rider is a pseudonym for the slightly plump octogenarian nursing home resident who had some... Read More


  1. 10
    Once had a LOL who would curse and swear at her husband, who was deceased. One day she was swearing at him and I reminded her that her husband was in heaven, she them replied "Well, he won't be there long!"
  2. 3
    Just yesterday morning 2 of my classmates and I were doing vitals, and although we were told to wake anyone up that was sleeping, I saved the 1 that was sleeping for last.

    We knock, go in, tell her we need morning vitals, and says "I'm sleeping" while holding out her arm for the BP cuff. My classmate, while waiting for the cuff to inflate, says "I need your temp as well, can I put this under your tongue?" and she says "No, I told you I'm sleeping". I said "Ms K, are you having any pain?", and she says "I can't talk to you right now, I'm sleeping." !?!?!?! As soon as the BP cuff deflates, she Ms K says "Ok you can take my temp now", and opens her mouth wide! My classmates and I are looking at eachother thinking "what the heck?" Her temp is fine, and as soon as my classmate takes the thermometer out of her mouth, she opens her eyes and says "No, I'm not in any pain", closes her eyes, and rolls over!

    We say thank you and turn to leave, and she starts ranting about sleeping, and how she can only do so many things while she's sleeping lol, as soon as the door shut, I had to laugh! I wish I could remember all the things she said to us
    LTCNS, teeniebert, and RRWilson,RN2 like this.
  3. 5
    Working in LTC I kept hearing the newly admitted demented lady screaming down the hall "NURSE". I went down to see why the nurses or aides assigned to the unit weren't taking care of her and found they were trying but she was systematically throwing everyone out of the room because they didn't have a name tag that said RN.

    I entered her room and introduced myself as NascarNurse RN and showed her my name tag. She looked me over good, then looked me dead in the eye and calmly said "You don't look like an RN. You look like an LPN. Get the _ell out of here". The scary part was I had really only been an RN for 5 DAYS (with recent history of 19 years as an LPN)! This fiestly little lady became one of my all time favorites and she even eventually learned to scream my name down the hall and demand the others "Take me to Nascar's office this minute or I will sue you".
    cienurse, AngelicDarkness, Mochamo, and 2 others like this.
  4. 14
    Two things come to mind:

    Elderly lady from the Caribbean, blind on dialysis. About 22 years ago. In a four bed room and she would spend much of the night calling "God, help me! Please God, help me! God, are you there?" Needless to say, the other three pts were not impressed. One night shift we could hear her all the way to the desk calling for God. In desperation, one of the other nurses punched her bed number into the intercom and said "This is God. Go to sleep." Never heard another word from her but she told the day nurses she had "heard God's voice loud and clear last night". Never called out at night again.

    Elderly gentleman with dementia. I recognized the name as the same of a benefactor I had heard of through my work with Girl Guides. I was helping change him one day and after we had fixed the blankets and made sure he was okay, I said I had a question for him. I asked him if he was the same Mr X who had been involved in this particular Girl Guide camp. He started to cry and he said to me "You know, that place turned out way better than my wife and I ever dreamed it would. We just thought it would be an okay place for the girls to put some tents, and I can't remember how many girls use it now." I reassured him that it was well used and very well loved and that we would always take care of the land. After that day he could never remember my name, but he knew he had some sort of connection with me that he didn't have with the other nurses, although he could never had told you what it was. But everytime he saw he he would hold out a hand and say "There she is! There's my girl!" He is long since gone, but I still think of him everytime I go to camp.
    LTCNS, nightnurse28, tayloramaRN2be, and 11 others like this.
  5. 7
    When I was doing my clinical rotation at on a dementia unit, I was assigned to this little old lady who was probably all of 4.5 feet tall, and cursed me to high heaven every time I entered the room. I recall one time she had soiled herself as we were quickly trying to get her to the commode, and as I was cleaning her up she told me that her son "owns this b***h" and she was going to sue the pants off me. I got her cleaned up and back to bed and all was good. I told my instructor what she said earlier thinking it was a little funny, until my instructor informed me that her son, in fact, did own the skilled nursing facility

    I thought for sure I was toast.
    LTCNS, tayloramaRN2be, teeniebert, and 4 others like this.
  6. 0
    Very funny and cute!
  7. 7
    A friend told me about a resident in the nursing home she worked at who had Alzheimers.This lady had always went to chuch and her son was a preacher. She did not like taking a bath. They would use a lift to put her in the tub. When the pt was lifted up in the air getting ready to go into the tub, she threw her hands up and said, " Dear Lord Jesus, Please send me two heart attacks. One for me and one for this b**** getting ready to bathe me"!
  8. 8
    Quote from lub dub
    A member of my family suffers from dementia, & I find nothing funny or cute about it. There is a thread elsewhere on this site that talks about the elderly being devalued, & I thought of this thread.

    Go ahead, let the flaming begin...
    Good day! I wrote the article about devaluation of the elderly, and I am also the author of this article.

    The demented population makes some of the funniest, wittiest, and cutest statements around. Keep in mind that we are laughing with this population, and not at them. There is a significant difference.

    I'm assured that the people who post on this forum care deeply about the value and dignity of this population. Without a sense of humor, this profession is capable of sucking the soul out of even the most caring healthcare worker.

    Many of us have family members with declining cognitive function. There's no need to flame or invite flames when none are warranted. Thank you.
  9. 11
    Quote from lub dub
    A member of my family suffers from dementia, & I find nothing funny or cute about it. There is a thread elsewhere on this site that talks about the elderly being devalued, & I thought of this thread.Go ahead, let the flaming begin...
    I will concede that working with elderly demented patients for years *can* make one somewhat desensitized to it. When my grandma's dementia took hold recently, I'll admit I didn't find even her most benign and harmless episodes to be very amusing. When my 'little old ladies' at work talk about having to make dinner for their long dead husbands it makes me smile and nod. When my grandma says the same thing about my grandpa who died in 1991, it's just unsettling. So I get your point.

    But with all of that said, think how much more horrible nursing homes would be if we treated dementia as a tragedy. Not just for the staff, but for the residents, too. You're totally off base about this thread being disrespectful. Humor is important. We need more seriousness and dram in nursing like we need a hole in the head. If a nurse can't laugh at the funny side of aging and dementia, then he really shouldn't work in a nursing home.
    LTCNS, SoldierNurse22, teeniebert, and 8 others like this.
  10. 8
    I definitely agree with therapeutic fibbing.

    One of my favorite nursing home moments came when I was working as a CNA. I had a patient who was repeatedly trying to climb out of bed, but physically unable to do so. After a few times of helping her get back into the bed, I finally asked her what was wrong. She began a long story about how she was so concerned about "John" and "my father" because they were at evening Christmas Eve mass, there was a snow storm coming, and there was no one to pick them up. She only settled down after I assured her that I would leave immediately and go bring them home.

    Before I left the room she smiled, squeezed my hand, thanked me, and wished me a "Merry Christmas."

    I knew that reality orientation would have been futile in this situation. It was, after all, the middle of July.


Top