Was I being mean-by not handing over all my notes?????? - page 4
One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me? (A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me.... Read More
Dec 13, '07Your classmate is an adult (or a reasonable facsimilie) and needs to take responsibility for her actions. If she's sleeping through class be it from anemia or partying, she's got to realize what that's going to do to her grades. And if this was a bona-fide medical concern, then she should have been talking to her teachers from the get-go.
As for whether to share the notes or not...well, they're your notes and you are under no obligation to give them to anyone for any reason. I'm all for helping classmates out--my own notes have made the rounds over the last several years--but there is a fine line between helping them out and letting yourself being taken advantage of...and if you felt the latter was the case, IMO you have the right to say "No" with a clear conscience.
Quote from suzy253I know...I've already warned those I share my notes with that I can't promise they'll always be thereFavors turn into duties.Last edit by Meriwhen on Dec 13, '07
Dec 13, '07Its one thing to do a one-time good deed, but my take on this situation (based on the OPs statement) is the fact that this individual made absolutely no effort to make friends with or support the OP with notes or an offer for group study at anytime previous in the semester. That's enough for me to say no if I was placed in this situation.
Also, if an individual (dealing with health issues or not) can't sort out the situation to do well enough in a course while in nursing school and building their foundation of nursing knowledge what kind of behavior will they be displaying after licensed and practicing? I hate the idea of fostering a leech who will never learn to demonstrate a modicum of independence when they are responsible for maintaining their license.
Obviously we don't know the intentions of the fellow student, but that fact that she didn't even thank the OP for the portion of notes she did send, speaks volumes.
Don't let this get you down, just worry about you and your path!
Dec 13, '07Quote from missgigiusI probably would have told her I'd "try" to get around to it and then ignored her phone calls. I think it was kind of mean for her to put you on the spot.One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me?
(A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me. In the past she's asked to see my notes right before exams.)
Anyway she calls me today (finals are tomorrow) and asks if she can have all my notes sent to her email so she can study them (I type all of my lecture notes). She said she has anemia and been sleeping all the time (I noticed her sleeping in class). After thinking about, I sad no. If she wanted to study w/me or have me help her with a area that she was having difficulty, I would have done it. But to just hand over my notes, my work so she can have "cliff-notes" to the class, NO. I am sorry.
But was that mean?
Now, if she were the type of person who was always willing to help other people, I probably would have been happy to help her.
Dec 14, '07When I was in school one of the teachers asked me to take notes and give them to anothe student who was out for a pregnancy problem. I did. This student had never really made any effort to even speak to me prior, never thanked me for helping her stay in school and to this day ignores me if we run into each other.
I'm leaning toward the "she needs to take responsibility for herself" group and not help her out. Also lent lots of books to different people that I trusted and have yet to get one back. Course it has only been five years. That said I'm a sucker for helping people and have learned to hard way to say no sometimes.
Dec 14, '07Well, when I first started reading this, I could totally understand the OP and others who said no. But nursing school is more than just memorizing notes...you could give her all the notes that you took, but if she can't apply the information...it's not going to help.
Personally, I think she is just lazy and using the anemia as an excuse. There are many nursing students with health issues who make certain that they get all the resources they can.
Dec 14, '07Quote from danissano, i don't think you were being mean, just careful with the work you have put in. in our workplace, its common practice to help each other out when taking the intensive care course. one of my co-workers, (and shes a friend), has been plodding away at this course for ages now, well over the usual timeframe. anyway, as i had help from friends when i was doing this course, i gave her my essays, reflective journals etc, just to read over and get an idea of how they are marked etc.(gave her them 2 years ago, btw!). since shes still working at it, i dont want to ask for them back just yet, but am now having serious misgivings about handing them over to her. she was telling me what she was looking at for one of her reflections, and omg...its the very same as one of mine! now i have the horrible feeling that shes just going to re-hash my work and hand that in. i need to approach her about it, but shes a friend, and i know how hard things are for her right now. am dreading asking her now.
anyway, sorry this is so long. just wanted to say i guess, that you think you are being kind by sharing, but it may backfire.
if she was a friend, she wouldn't place you in this position.
Dec 14, '07We shared each others notes all through nursing school. Others' notes didn't help me much because they weren't MY notes, but I didn't mind at all to copy them for others. Call me selfish but I don't think I would have studied with her due to the fact that it would take time away from studying the things only I needed to study.
Dec 14, '07Quote from jackson145This also happened at my school. One of my instructors made a student stand up beside her desk because she LOOKED as if she were going to fall asleep. She had to stand there for an hour until break or leave the classroom.At my school, if they catch you sleeping in class, they make you leave.
Dec 14, '07Quote from missgigiusNow, that was very rude! I would definitely not give her any notes in the future. The least she could do is say thanks.Well, I took the final today and the girl that I sent some of my notes to, walked passed about 3 or 4 times. Not only did she not say thank you, she didn't even speak. Oh well, lesson learned!
Dec 17, '07this is just my opinion, but there seems to be quite a bit of judgement going on against your fellow classmates. maybe i feel a bit like the person who asked for the notes as i have done so in the past, but it isn't b/c i don't do the work myself. this semester i found myself in the position that i felt i needed to ask someone (who i don't really care for or hang out with) for their notes. she does well in class though. i did really poorly on two of five exams this semester. i had done all of the prep work, but still did poorly. i found that looking at her notes helped me b/c there was info she put in her notes that i had left out. often, there were exam questions on the material that she put in her notes that i had left out. i type up my notes and study guides and she only handwrites hers. i still took her notes and typed them up, which is a big part of my learning process. it was very difficult for me to approach her to ask for her notes. i did thank her.
also, regarding whether you "feel someone is trying": the classmate i asked for her to share the notes with me, did not think i did any of the learning objectives on my own and still gave them to me. i found out after the final that she didn't know i did my own stuff. she found out b/c another student who i shared my notes with and have for the past 2 semesters came up and thanked me for my cardiac study guide that i put together. about 10 questions on the final had info that came from my study guide, that wasn't a learning objective, but i put it on there b/c i thought it was important info that i just wanted to know for later on. i also skip class sometimes. i have an hour and 20 minute drive one way to class and sometimes i feel it is more productive for me to spend the time reading and running through nclex books for questions, than to make the trip to class.
i know this is a lengthy post, but i just wanted to give you the perspective of someone who has been humbled enough to have to ask for help and thankful for a person that was willing to help even though she probably doesn't care for me as a person. i am thankful to all the fellow students who have shared their info and experiences with me and hopefully someone out there is thankful for me and my info. i think that nursing school is hard enough and that we should help each other instead of having a me vs. them attitude.
just my $0.02 worth!
Dec 17, '07Hell no you were not mean. I have a woman who was talking to me at the beginning of the semester and now she does not speak at all. We were in the process of having our final and I purchased Barron's anatomy flash cards...she comes over and picks the card from desk and I told her i was in the middle of studying and she just proceeded to ignore me. I was so :angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire :angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire. Unfortunately, I have such a giving heart. But I'm getting tougher!!! In our nursing class, we have some selfish people. I don't know what the big competition is....but when it is all said and done whether u are a 90 student or a 75 student...we all must face the state boards to get licensed.....and it just bothers me how people in nursing school act!
So back to your actions, I would turn her down myself. Another issue came up, one my of fundamentals instructor gave us some terms to look up. I work hard on these terms...besides other homework, I stayed up late. So here comes a student, "oh, did u do the terms, for homework? I reply, yes. They ask, can I see yours...I say, oh, I can't find it right now...I think I left it home.....(of course I lied)....I'm not giving someone my work that I stayed up till 1/2 am in the morning to do ABSOLUTELY NOT
These actions show me that you are a slaker and you'll be like that when you go to a unit in a hosptal and "pretend" to work. And everyone is working their tails off. I can't go for that at all!
Dec 17, '07theres a few in my class who are out all the time, dont take notes, and pass the tests by the skin of their teeth. a few friends and i take really good notes, and the 4 of us divide the chapters and type them, and this works really well for us. but every week these students started to depend on our notes and didnt even bother taking their own anymore. so we stopped giving them out. you will be amazed who is your friend when they want something! so our alternative was that we offered them to join our weekly study group at the library and we would review with them and answer any questions they had. as long as they make an effort they can have the notes. but they never show up, and when they ask for the notes... now the answer is a flat out no. if we offer them help, and they dont take it, then we arent doing them any service by doing their reading and note taking for them.....
i dont think you are mean at all. no one is going to be there to take the nclex for them right?? so if they dont want to have the study skills now... they wont use them when it really matters.
just my 0.02