Sexism against men - page 2

:angryfire I am almost ready to walk out of my program. For 2 years I have listened to students and professors making openly degrading comments regarding members of my gender. Snide, snickering,... Read More

  1. by   wonderbee
    Sorry to hear you're going through this. I often feel for the guys in my class. Not that our professors degrade men. They don't. Its still the gender stereotype pronouns being used that keep on coming back to haunt all of us. Nurses are always "she" and physicians are always "he". I wish there were better professional prounouns that were available for just these occasions. It's not just limited to gender. I hate it when we're referred to as "kids". At 49, I'm no kid. I've made a comment to my professor about it and she's not doing that anymore.
  2. by   soltera
    [QUOTE=epg_pei]:angryfire I am almost ready to walk out of my program. For 2 years I have listened to students and professors making openly degrading comments regarding members of my gender. Snide, snickering, ignorant comments to the effect that men have some kind of problem essentially because they're men. "Men eh." Well, what the ____ does that mean exactly? If I were to remark "Women eh," what sort of response do you suppose I'd receive?

    I had a professor last term describe men as abusers and women and children as victims when she was doing her lecture on family violence. I'll agree, although I have no data to support it. Just based on what I see and hear in the media. Todays slap was my biology professor who allows and personally engages in male-bashing with select students, during lecture. Is a UTI more important when it's a female patient? Is a swollen prostate not a very serious thing?

    I am so _______ incensed that I am ready to write the dean of the nursing school and the president of the university to complain. I'll come off sounding like a commplete idiot because I have no exact record of what people say, it's all just general comments against men. I am sick of this ____. :angryfire[/QUO


    I think you should complain or at least speak to the professors about this. this is unacceptable and unfair, but don't drop, they'll say it's because he's a man that he quit. goodluck
  3. by   CCU NRS
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    Lauging it off and acting like it doesn't bother you is not a solution. That's like saying it's perfectly ok to act like that. And if a boss told a woman that as an answer to sexual harrassment problems (just using that an example), all HELL would be raised.
    The reason I said to laugh it of is that we all know that tormentors enjoy it much more when they know they get to you. This sounds like a somewhat personal thing to me. If this same group is doing this and always doing this when OP is in earshot they may have discovered early on that it bothers him and continuing to do so to get his goat. NO OFFENSE some people are malicious and will participate in forms of abuse together for fun at the expense of a person they deem beneath them. I can not know that this is the case, but the very fact that the OP is so upset by the things they say and do seems to be an indication. I would just blow them off as simple minded cretans and never give them a second thought but it truly bothers OP so he is in a continual state of frustration and if a tormentor knows they can do this to you they will every chance they get.

    ps it happens every where in all areas there is predjudice in every thing
  4. by   LydiaGreen
    I feel for you EPG and agree that gender discrimination from either side is wrong. But, I beg to differ with your instructor focusing on women and children being abused by men. Yes, it happens a lot, but women are also abusers. I live in a small community and as an adult had to intercede once in a case of a male bashing his female partner (my neighbours). As a kid growing up, I watched my next door neighbour beat on her husband on a daily basis. She was 5 foot nothing and 90 pounds soaking wet and he was 6'4" and 250 lbs. He would never report it because he was embarassed and he would just stand there and take it because he knew if he touched her, even just to hold her arms to stop her, she would accuse him of spousal abuse and HE would be the one carted off by the police. She literally had to jump to smack him on top of the head with her fist, but she did it - not kidding you, on a DAILY basis. She would do this in broad daylight, outside, in their driveway, on their deck, on the sidewalk, IN FRONT of all of the neighbourhood children playing outside. Bias does exist in the healthcare community regarding females abusing their male spouses. And it's sad. The bias in the general population is enormous but will never change as long as the health care community continues to turn a blind eye to the existence of females abusing males. It DOES happen - a lot more often than we know. Throughout nursing school, the discussions have always been males abusing women or children - I have always chimed in to remind my fellow students that they need to be watchful for signs and symptoms of abuse from women as well, not just men.

    Women like to believe that they are not capable of gender prejudice, but we most certainly are. You should not have to be continually exposed to these gender based biases.
  5. by   Jen2
    This is kind of surprising to me. I have 4 guys in my class of 39, and all of them are treated with respect. Our instructors treat them with respect and so do we. So I think the biggest problem is the instructors. They are our role models and leaders and set the tone for the class. I would talk to them first and have them make an apology to the entire class and then state that there will be no more of this. My boyfriend is a nurse that happens to be male and gets alot of questions asked by his patients, but never has he had any negative comments. He is very confident and caring and it shows and people pick up on that. He loves what he does. Don't just quit because of peoples ignorance. Good luck and let us know what happens.
  6. by   macmagick
    I am saddened to hear that sexism toward men still continues in the nursing profession. I graduated from nursing school (diploma) in 1979 which in an of itself is a miracle. I received sexist comments from family, friends and yes, instructors and professors during my entire three year program. The first came from one of my basic nursing instructors when she asked me "Are you sure you want to be a MALE nurse?" My comment back to her was "Well, actually, I was planning on having a sex change in my Senior year!!!". This was my first trip to the deans office. The insightfull dean way back in 1977 suggested that both my professor and my comment were inappropriate but even back then I just could not let comments like my professors go by without a response. It is truly difficult being a minority, a man in a predominate woman's profession but I am living proof that one can survive and even thrive in this wonderful profession we call nursing. I have 24 years invested in nursing and I am looking at probablly another 20 to 24 years working in this field. If I have to work for a living, I can't imagine doing anything else. I am proud to be a nurse. How are things out there in the nursing profession these days? I don't really see as much sexism toward men or women as say 10 years ago.
    Last edit by macmagick on Mar 9, '04
  7. by   oneLoneNurse
    Having gone through nursing school twice once for Psych nursing and the other for the RN both in Edmonton, AB(Canada). I agree discrimination against us does exist. My advice: grin and bear it. If you report it they may label you a trouble maker. Maybe there is little they can or are willing to do besides just a slight slap on the wrists. That won't stop it.

    As well, I found it to be a two edged sword. Some of the wise mostly women instructors gave me an advantage because I was male. Others just didn't think men should be in nursing.

    On the whole I thought the good outweighed the bad. This discrimination taught me about discrimination(though it was hard getting through the RN). Once you make it through, you will have a long life career, one well worth it. Stick it out !

    Good luck !
    Last edit by oneLoneNurse on Mar 9, '04
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from CCU NRS
    The reason I said to laugh it of is that we all know that tormentors enjoy it much more when they know they get to you. This sounds like a somewhat personal thing to me. If this same group is doing this and always doing this when OP is in earshot they may have discovered early on that it bothers him and continuing to do so to get his goat. NO OFFENSE some people are malicious and will participate in forms of abuse together for fun at the expense of a person they deem beneath them. I can not know that this is the case, but the very fact that the OP is so upset by the things they say and do seems to be an indication. I would just blow them off as simple minded cretans and never give them a second thought but it truly bothers OP so he is in a continual state of frustration and if a tormentor knows they can do this to you they will every chance they get.

    ps it happens every where in all areas there is predjudice in every thing
    Simple minded cretans need to learn that some crap doesn't fly. Blowing them off can be a great way to send them the message that "hey it's ok for you to keep acting like that because it doesn't bother me".
  9. by   CCU NRS
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    Simple minded cretans need to learn that some crap doesn't fly. Blowing them off can be a great way to send them the message that "hey it's ok for you to keep acting like that because it doesn't bother me".
    You may very well be right but isn't life too short to attempt to change every simple minded cretan you run across? I know my time is too short. They will reap what they sew in the long run is my theory. You know if it is really a big probelm I would think it would catch the attention of more people and as that happens the heads will roll. Yep I am totally absorbed with my own little corner of the world and don't try too hard to control the rest of it.

    OP, how many males in your class?
    Do they feel the same way you do?
    Is it obvious to the rest of the females that are not participating?
    You see where I am going here? I am trying to determine if this is a personal attack on you or if this is truly a discrimination thing that involves all the males and all the classmates, You very seldomly have a class full of predjudiced people that are all predjudiced in the same manner. I am now curious to know more, Is this souly aimed at you?
  10. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Never said anything about changing "them", i was refering to the "beahvior".
  11. by   CCU NRS
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    Never said anything about changing "them", i was refering to the "beahvior".
    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm change the behavior without changing the person what a grand Idea, I will have to try it sometime!!! LOL
  12. by   CCU NRS
    Bump for epg_pei please inform of new developments
  13. by   epg_pei
    Quote from CCU NRS
    Bump for epg_pei please inform of new developments
    I haven't gone to any professor to voice my concerns. I don't know how to verbalize it in a way that won't have me looking like an idiot. I know when professors are male-bashing, I just don't know how to explain it sensibly. And I don't want to stick my neck out. This faculty is not a place where you do what's right. It's a place where you do what you're told. If I cold be a student in any other program in Canada, I would. But I don't have the luxury.

    Just looking at your posts, this is not directed at me specifically. Other students, male and female notice it, but blow it off as the cost of being a student under the professors thumb. Just talking this morning with another girl, and she reminded me that this goes on everywhere. If you start fighting it everytime you see it you have a long row to hoe.

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