You've got a what up/in your what???

  1. OK, Mario's thread about cheese, and Zhakrin's coke bottle post made me think up this one for fun. We've all had them, or heard about them. What is the most interesting thing you have had a person insert into an orifice, on pupose (forget the moldy baloney sandwiches between fat folds.)

    I would imagine ER and OR/PACU nurses deal with this the most. My ER nurse friend told me this one. On survelience camera, they saw a woman come in with a large blanket wrapped wrapped around herself. They were naturally curious, when they got her inside, she opened the blanket to show her nipple caught between her boyfriend's teeth!

    One anesthesilogist said on his ER rotation in med school, they had a guy come in with the John Travolta spandex flare pants. They were so tight, they could not get them off, and he had arrested. They cut off the pants and found a huge salami taped to his leg.

    My only personal PACU story is having to go in on call for a guy who got hamburger tongs stuck up his butt. Another PACU nurse said he favorite was a jean nate bottle.

    So, share your story....
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  2. 88 Comments

  3. by   Nurse_Bonita
    hmmm...

    never dealt with a case like this since I am not a nurse YET, but one time my cousin got a quarter stuck in his ear. I still can't figure that one out.
  4. by   NurseDennie
    Someone I know - I am NOT saying who - puts a great deal of change into her belly button. She thinks it's cool.

    Love

    Dennie
  5. by   aus nurse
    Oh hoolio, my life is so boring. 19 years as a nurse and I have no orifice stories to share. Oh well, I'll be watching this thread with interest.

    Aus (living her life vicariously through others.)
  6. by   hoolahan
    aus, you nust lead a charmed life down unda mate!

    Dennie, did you post that picture just for this thread?? :chuckle :roll :chuckle
  7. by   Jenny P
    We once had a drunk who swallowed a fork; I don't know why or how.
  8. by   NurseDennie
    Well, I have it on good authority that at least once, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth put a gloved finger up one nare.

    Okay, okay!!! I have to confess!! Please.... All RIGHT. I was in high school. I was not particularly mature when I was in high school. That's stipulated, okay?

    I was a rather small person, and my buddy guy was a very large person. I have small bones and he in particular has a very very large mouth. Well, we were discussing the notion that it's just not possible for anybody to put their own fist into their own mouth. I don't know if that's true or not, but it was an interesting discussion in high school.

    Well, sure enough, HE couldn't, even though he has a very large mouth. And *I* couldn't, even though I have particularly small hands.

    *sigh* I'll bet you see where this story is heading, right?

    Yep. ED with my hand locked in his mouth. My fingers getting all wrinkly from being wet for so long. Muscle relaxers and some kind of sedative, I guess for him. Just long, wondering, "What WAS she thinking" looks for me.

    Love

    Dennie
    Last edit by NurseDennie on Mar 9, '02
  9. by   MHN
    Hoolahan, when i was doing my general nurse training we had a young man who was admitted with a piece of 8 gauge fencing wire(the sort used on farm fences)in his bladder .He maintained he had swallowed it.
    My ex had a young lady come through accident and emergency with a 2 litre glass coke bottle stuck P.V.
  10. by   aus nurse
    Oh Dennie, you poor thing (aus says as she tries to stop laughing):roll :roll :roll


    Betcha never did that again!!!!!
  11. by   KC CHICK
    About three weeks ago I went through my Urology training. Had a 14y/o female in for cystoscopy and removal of a foreign object. The object that was retrieved from her bladder (via her urethra) looked like a clear plastic straw that had a knot tied in it about 1/3 of the way from one end. Strange. Don't know how she got it in there and I didn't ask.

    Anne
    Last edit by KC CHICK on Mar 9, '02
  12. by   mario_ragucci
    This is kinda lackluster - yes?
    I was serious about the smell behind the ears and the chin/mental area. Mario was expecting an anatomical answer to the tune of some kind of lymphatic drainage gland...something like that. Then a bunch of folks started going off about how they sniff microbes into their turbinators from the paws of domesticated animals, and how they smell like food additives. Whats up with that? Yall should be thinking about whether its cool to be placing microbes from "animal feet" on the adnoids in your skull. Arncha supposed to be preventing infection?

    :-) Mario "brain vomits" yet another silly post :-)
  13. by   kaycee
    Constantly see vibrators up the wazoo in the ER so that's kinda common now. Had a man in his 60's come in with a plastic Pepsi bottle stuck on his poor little penis that was very purple. Family came later fearing he had a heart attack. We left it to him to explain. Cut it off with a cast saw(the bottle, we saved the little penis)
    Also had a female in her 30's that placed a jar of vaseline you know where instead of her IUD. She said it was dark.
    Man in his 30's got his penis stuck in the suction of a pool filter. No more skinny dippin for him for a while.
    Woman in her 80's walked in with her breast stuck in a wringer washer. Engineering took it apart. We suggested an up to date washer or at least wear a bra when you're doin the wash.
    Little girl about 4, raisins up her nose, probably half a small box.
    Live yellow jacket in a 10 yo boys ear. Got it out without it stinging him.
    I think that's all I can remember now. I'm sure there's more. It's too late to think anymore.:chuckle
  14. by   bagladyrn
    Female psych pt. with a roll of $300 stolen from another pt. hidden in her vagina. After removal, we had money floating in pans of disinfectant all over the nurses station for the rest of the shift.

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