Working opposite shifts from spouse...

  1. 0 I had a great interview for a position that would be a fantastic opportunity for me. The environment seems really supportive and it would be much more challenging than my current job. The interview went great and I would honestly be surprised if I didn't get the position. However, one bad thing about the job is that it's evening shift and DH and I currently work days. I know people work opposite shifts for a variety of reasons, but DH is really hesitant about this opportunity. Of course I would prefer to work days but I see it as a major stepping stone in my career - room for growth, and an acute hospital environment, which is what I've wanted all along. Full-time day shifts are hard to come by because they are usually filled by internal hires, so I know that it's something I may be able to get further down the road.

    Would you voluntarily work a different shift from your spouse (assume for the purposes of this question that you don't have kids and you're not doing this for child care purposes)?
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  3. Visit  sbostonRN profile page

    About sbostonRN

    sbostonRN has '2.5' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'Med/Surg, Rehab'. From 'Boston metro area'; Joined Jun '08; Posts: 524; Likes: 335.

    24 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  KittyBinimi profile page
    0
    I work nights. NEVER thought I would, but I do. My boyfriend works day shift, so I sleep when he's at work, wake up when he gets home and spend the evening with him. That's what works for me.
  5. Visit  Zookeeper3 profile page
    3
    I did about 15 years on night shift. Started for child care, continued because I could avoid just about all levels of management. It was priceless for my sanity, which resulted in my being happier at home. Sure given the choice my husband would have preferred me on day shift... he didn't have to work in the toxic hell that existed there, so it simply wasn't his choice to make.

    A happy wife.... is a happy wife. 25 years together resulted from spending quality time together on my time off. You can have date night just as easy on a Tuesday as a Friday.
    Bortaz, RN, Ivana RN-BC, and amoLucia like this.
  6. Visit  not.done.yet profile page
    0
    Hubbie is days and I am nights. We are still adjusting, but the way we make it work is having evenings together and really making it count. He likes it because I have plenty of energy for the more intimate parts of our marriage when he goes to bed. I like it because I am getting the alone time I crave on my days off. Its win/win.
  7. Visit  turnforthenurseRN profile page
    0
    Hubs and I work opposite shifts. He is Army so he will always work Monday through Friday, usually from 0530 (for PT) and around 1800. Some days we don't do much or hardly see each other; he will be coming home or will want to take a little power nap and I will be on my way to work. It really isn't all that bad, though
  8. Visit  classicdame profile page
    5
    I worked opposite mine for more than 20 years. The important thing is QUALITY time, not QUANTITY time
    Hoozdo, Ivana RN-BC, amoLucia, and 2 others like this.
  9. Visit  NicuGal profile page
    0
    We have worked opposite on and off for 25 years also...works for us...sometimes when we are off for a week together it is too much lol You both have to be able to adjust to the others schedule, that is for sure. No waking you up for stupid stuff, no saying "Are you going to sleep all day", and splitting the chores is big too. You can make it work, but it takes two
  10. Visit  JenRN30 profile page
    0
    I would definitely take the job. The hardest part about night shift and being married for me is not sleeping in bed next to my husband 3 nights per week. But, as others have said, we spend time in the afternoon before work. in my experience though, once you get your foot in the door of a unit and make a good impression, day shift positions open up pretty quickly. I think you should try it and see how it works out.
  11. Visit  mindlor profile page
    0
    did not read all the posts...

    All I will say is that based on pure math, the odds are high that a relationship will not survive if the partners work opposite shifts........but there are exceptions to every rule
  12. Visit  R!XTER profile page
    1
    Quote from mindlor
    did not read all the posts...

    All I will say is that based on pure math, the odds are high that a relationship will not survive if the partners work opposite shifts........but there are exceptions to every rule
    What kind of math equation did you use?? If anything the probability is higher - "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is very true. When you spend some time apart and then reunite, your time together is that much more special! It's been working great for me for over a year now! I see my hubby in the morning and evening, and when I have my days off. He also travels a lot for work, so he can arrange his schedule for the nights I am working. Works out great!
    not.done.yet likes this.
  13. Visit  ISeeYou3100 profile page
    0
    Quote from mindlor
    did not read all the posts...

    All I will say is that based on pure math, the odds are high that a relationship will not survive if the partners work opposite shifts........but there are exceptions to every rule
    ????? I think this would only apply to a relationship that didn't have a solid foundation to begin with. My hudband and I work opposite shifts and have for years and we have never had any major marital issues because of it.
  14. Visit  WeepingAngel profile page
    0
    My future DH works M-F 9-5, and weekends too. We make it work. I'm only at work 3 nights a week, so we have plenty of evenings together, and he is understanding when I need to sleep. The only time I would say we ever suffer for it is making plans in the evening but we make it work
  15. Visit  not.done.yet profile page
    1
    Quote from R!XTER
    What kind of math equation did you use?? If anything the probability is higher - "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is very true. When you spend some time apart and then reunite, your time together is that much more special! It's been working great for me for over a year now! I see my hubby in the morning and evening, and when I have my days off. He also travels a lot for work, so he can arrange his schedule for the nights I am working. Works out great!
    I have to agree with this. We don't get to see one another three days of the week now. Our time together is very....fun. The separation seems to have brought out a lot of courtesy between us and craving for one another. We both make sure to make the bed when we get up, even though it is going to be slept in just a few hours later, so that the other comes into a clean, inviting bedroom. We leave notes. Text. Cook things for one another and leave them in the fridge. And he's started taking me out to a late dinner or a late movie (I don't fully transition back to days on my off time...doesn't work for me) every week. We've started finding time to workout together...something we've never done. He texts me before he goes to sleep and calls me on his way to work. We've been together over 10 years and our relationship has never felt stronger.
    WeepingAngel likes this.


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