women working with women, why its so hard - page 5

Its like women have to "compete" with each other and they are so catty. I never had a problem working with men, but working with women can sometimes be stressful. I always heard one talking about... Read More

  1. by   southernbeegirl
    Quote from rngolfer53
    One thing I noticed as a guy, is that being male was definitely an asset in employment interviews. Managers--more than one--have told me guys bring stability and a lack of drama.

    That said, any workplace, regardless of the population of males/females, needs strong management to function effectively.

    Seems to me, after working in the energy industry for 25 years before nursing, that nursing suffers from putting people in management positions with little supervisory training or experience, and little support in those tasks from competent professionals. While respect for the manager's clinical skills is vital, it's not in itself enough.

    Managing people is going to be especially difficult when the new supervisor was drawn from the rank and file of the supervised unit. I would not accept a position managing folks that were my friends and equals. It's a script for a very difficult time, at best and failure as the more likely outcome.
    although my husband is now a drug/alcohol counselor, he worked as an engineer consultant for companies needing to restructure for 25 years.he worked as a CNA for one year 8 yrs ago too. he has said this same thing to me for years. he says healthcare would be more successful if it were run like industry. he agrees that people are put into management positions that have no qualifications. he says that it is this inexperience that causesmany of the problems in a facility. he says in industry, people are professional at their jobs but in healthcare an inexperienced person is put in management with no training and isnt taught professionalism and that affects the whole team.

    like many RNs, i was thrust in a management role within months of graduating. i had no training at all from any company i worked for...none! all that mattered was that i was an RN. and IMO, thats wrong!

    i was a horrible manager!! i didnt know how to talk to people, women especially. i was a "its my way or the highway" type manager so you know people couldnt stand me.

    i've been lucky to be married to my sweetie. he and a male nurse i've worked with for the last 5 years have really helped me morph into a successful manager but i've been an RN for 13 years and am just now "getting it".

    i've never been sent to any training by any job. i've been given a few books to read but thats it.

    so IMO, its no wonder that we are so unprofessional at times, we basically don't know "any better" because we havent had any training.

    but in industry, a company invests times and money into training managers. i know the company i work for, it invests a lot of time and money training their administrators for years before they are given a facility. but the same company doesnt bother training the supervisors of the biggest group of employees, the nursing dept, to be good managers. i think if companies would invest time and money into us that we would be much more successful.
  2. by   Medic/Nurse
    I noticed that another poster had mentioned that "we have your back" issue.

    The last time I had a nurse tell me that - they had put a young man in one of my 4 trauma beds (1 held an evolving MI and the other had a GI bleed that I was hanging the 4th unit of blood on) and she poked her head in to mention that because she wasn't "busy" she could help me out and get "your patient started" (the young man had been in a flash fire in a garage and she noted that had some 'minor burns" that's all - it should be an easy patient for you!) I asked that he be placed somewhere else (the rest of the 20 beds only had 5 other patients) as I would be a bit before I could get to him and she said:

    "No problem - don't worry, I'll help you - I've got YOUR back".

    That should have sent me running toward the patient like MY hair was on fire. But, hey this was a 10 year "helpful" nurse that had my back. Its all good - right?

    It took me about 10 minutes to get to the "minor patient" and sure enough "gotyourbackRN" was helping. The patient had 30% BSA 1/2 degree (arm, chest, neck, face) was sitting in his pants only with ice water soaked (she had used a big plastic basin with ice/water) trauma dressings covering the burns - shivering - not on oxygen, no monitor, no IV. The "gotyourbackRN" was "getting him in the computer" because triage was not busy and you had open bed - so we brought him on back (there were lots of other empty beds, too) - I got him something to cool the burns because he was "in such pain."

    I am not kidding.

    After I closed my mouth that had dropped open in shock and disbelief - I went to the patient - while I removed the "ice dressings" had him open his mouth, blow his nose (sooty upper airway, singed nasal and facial hair - upper airway redness/edema starting, slight stridor and wheeze) reached up to apply a NRB oxygen mask and get him on a monitor - I told my "helpful back protective RN co-worker" to go get a doctor and bring them in here - now. She actually said - "I'll be done in a sec and I was getting to the monitor and I'll get the IV for you." I declined - started it myself in the time that she was "arguing" with me over her "plan". I repeated for her to go NOW. Yep, you got in - the patient had a rapid decline and needed emergent RSI and transfer to a burn center.

    Anyway, that is one of the only times I ever had someone actually say "I've got your back!"

    I think it would cause an allergic reaction if I ever heard it again. I know that we have to work together - and I give as good as I get - often better - but, sometimes I wonder if we all see the same things. In this case, I had 2 other "critical" patients and not another single nurse (6) had more than 1 other patient (much less an acuity even near mine). So, the problem started right there. I was responsible for that patient. I looked in the computer and the RN that had my back had noted that she gave me "report" and put the patient in my exam room 10 minutes before I could get there (check the times on the critical getting the blood and FFP). I corrected the entry and made my own - still......

    After all I was the agency/comtract nurse. So, I deserved it - right?

    This was the final week of my bedside nursing career. I left that contract early and paid dearly (worth every penny!) to get out of that place. This was but one of many problems that happened at this place. It was toxic. Less than a year old - 2 clinical managers and 1 admin managers had resigned. In the 12 weeks I was there - I had watched 2 other contractors leave, 7 core staff resign and a parade of support staff. It was the best ending for me really. So - when you hear that "I've got your back" let that be your sign to guard your back at all costs.

    Practice SAFE!!