Why would they ask if I have kids????

Nurses General Nursing

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I was an executive for years in an unrelated field and during interviews we could not ask if someone had children. (if they volunteered the information, that's a different story...) If that's the case, WHY ask if you have kids if you in a nursing school interview??? Should that have bearing on whether I am qualified to be a nurse? Am I crazy for thinking this way? I hate to "buck" the system but I also don't see the relevance. Someone enlighten me please...

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maggie,

i don't know if it's a legal question but whoever asks is probably wondering if your children are going to be an interference while you're in school;

if there are going to be issues with babysitting, time for studying or anything else that can potentially take away from your schooling.

again, i don't know if this illegal what they're asking.

good luck.

leslie

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Specializes in Interventional Pain Mgmt NP; Prior ICU and L/D RN.

Maggie...

I don't think it was appropiate of them to ask if you have kids...It was totally out of line IMHO! When I was in school there was an instructor you definately held it against you if you had children!....She said that you needed to put school ahead of your kids if you wanted to have your priorities right!..She wouldn't even let me make a test up when I stayed home with my daughter when she had chicken pox :angryfire ! She was an awful instructor and down right spiteful!...I would certainly want to know the reasoning they had for asking you that question!....

I went through nursing school with 2 kids...many of us HAVE...IT CAN BE DONE!! I am in school for my BSN now with 3 kids....but my FIRST priority will always be my children and family!!!!!

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I would politely make strong eye contact and say, "Why on earth would you ask such a personal question?" I too went through nursing school with two children, a husband in the first Gulf War and trying to sell a house - all at the same time. Ooops - and I worked fulltime. Puhlease don't tell me I wasn't dedicated! The same would go for you'all - good luck - you can do it!

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YES, i too believe you should question their intentions of this question...even a polite "i don't understand the relevance of your question" would be appropriate.

i did it w/2 toddlers and a baby as thousands of others have.

leslie

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Maybe its a test and they want to see how you handle those personal type questions. As a nurse you'll be confronted with questions and asked for information that you cannot answer. Remember HIPPA.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Leslie - you are so right - what business is it of anyone's?

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Specializes in Emergency Dept, M/S.

I went on two nursing school interviews in February, and only one was I asked if I had children. I answered the question indirectly, and admit I "prepared" my answer beforehand, by saying that I have put a lot of time and effort into my schooling so far, and everything in my personal life was set to allow me the opportunity to excel in all of my courses, and I left it at that. I do think she got the point.

I don't think it is legal for them to ask you any personal information. I researched this pretty thoroughly because I'm a Type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump, and I didn't want this to be a mark against me in any way.

Sometimes though, I think maybe the interviewer is making "small talk" to try and get to know you. They should be smarter though, and know what topics are off limits.

I think the second school I interviewed at, the one I'm attending, was much more "on top" of the interview process. I had volunteered that my NLN scores in December were not as high as they were when I took it several years ago, because I had been very sick and in the hospital, begging the doc to d/c me the day before the test so I could take it and not lose my spot. I felt cruddy, and know that affected my scores. The interviewer never asked me why I was in the hospital though, and just asked to see my old scores. Luckily I had saved them (from 1993! I'm a pack rat when it comes to paperwork!) and that pushed my application over the top and got me in.

My advice is if you go on any further interviews, be prepared for the question. It stinks that something like that would be held against anyone (and I hate to say this, but I think it would against a woman, most likely not against a man), but with nursing school spots being in short supply, give them your stock answer, and have a great remainder of the interview!

Best of luck to you! :)

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If that one threw you guys - you'll love this one...

A colleague of mine told me when she was hired into ICU as a new grad, that the nurse manager asked all the female candidates if they planned to become pregnant within the next year. Other female new grads hired in to that unit at the same time said the same thing. Apparently, this NM did not plan to hire anyone who said yes. (Can you say ILLEGAL??!! - This is not even a school interview, where such questions do arise at times - These were employment interviews for a hospital that boldly printed EOE right below their job listings). A few said they were asked if they planned to go back to school within the next 2 years. Apparently, the unit was having problems with people leaving not long after much had been invested in training them. Turnover was like a revolving door from what I hear. There were a few people with quite a few years of experience - the rest were brand new grads.

Well with management like that, GO FIGURE! :rolleyes:

I couldn't help but ask them WHY they would choose to work for this woman. Most just said they wanted the experience and would do as they pleased, since she couldn't really stop them. I can see that (and if they had all found better jobs, or gotten pregnant, or left to go back to school the day they completed orientation and left the NM twisting in the wind - it would have served her right! The nerve!) but the thought of working for a tyrant that thought she had ANY right to ask about my private life. I couldn't have gone along with it. If she treats you like that before you accept the job - what would it be like if she was the boss??? :uhoh21:

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I was asked also. I was also informed how "time consuming" the program would be and do I have "back-up" for my child since I will be so busy?

They can think all they want that school comes before my daughter but I am sorry to tell them that it will never be that way. Not in school, not as a nurse...ever. She is number one!

But I was told that my school asked because if you did then they would ask you other questions (child care, colds, support from others) to see if you have put thought into how time consuming and hard this is going to be and if you are prepared. Some people start and then realize they are not going to have a lot of time with family and are out in the first few weeks. Of course the school doesn't want a high drop out rate and they also don't want to give up a spot that someone who is ready to do this might have.

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I didn't mean to double post. Sorry about the double post.

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I would ask them if they had kids. LOL! kidding! I think asking if you have kids is illegal. I'm surprised someone hasn't made court case out of it because it is discrimination or is it prejudge ? It would be bad if you do not get accepted because you have kids. I wish you the best!

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