I am a pre-nursing student getting very close to finishing my pre-requisites. Part of my impetus for pursuing my nursing dream was the death of my oldest son from relapsed AML. He was 11 when diagnosed, 13 when he died.
I am doing a lot of healing and remembering....Joseph was not at all good to his nurses. He hated on them frequently and all his frustration and anger over being so ill was taken out on them. He had no interest in bonding with them and occasionally got sassy when they told him to do things that had to do. Even when he was compliant, he was pretty surly about it 80% of the time. He wanted nothing to do with that world of sickness and pain even though he pretty much lived in the hospital for the last 9 months of his life. I did what I could to remind him that he still needed to be a good person and that they were doing their jobs to help him get well, etc. The nurses were mostly fantastic about combining nighttime chemo and vitals and everything else so we were disturbed as little as possible.
When he went to ICU, he stayed on the vent for two weeks, oscillator for two weeks and we finally were told there was no chance of survival. We made the decision that day to discontinue treatment and called for family.
One by one throughout the day, the nurses who had been taking care of my angry young man came down to the PICU. I gave them moments alone with him to say goodbye. Apparently they were telling one another that today was the day and the news seemed to spread among them like wildfire. One nurse even drove in on her day off from being out with her elderly mother just to say goodbye to Joseph, who was, of course, heavily sedated and on a neuromuscular block. I have no idea if he even knew anyone was there.
I was so moved that all these nurses, who he treated so badly so much of the time, took time from their days and their lives to come to bid him farewell. Why did they do that? Many of them wept. I am so touched by it but I find myself wondering what was in them that made them want to do this even though he really was a pill?
