What's the worst thing the workplace bully did to you? has done to you?

colleen10 · Jul 10, 2003

Not to get away from the topic at hand but I don't think Rebel is saying that the people who are being abused are playing the "victim" on purpose and enjoy it.

I think she just meant that in her experience, sticking up for yourself at the get go when you first observe this type of behavior can often "nip it in the bud" so to speak. If you stick up for yourself in the first few weeks of working with a person like this they won't want to bother with you because you won't let them push you around.

I know I dealt with a work place bully once in the IT industry. She wasn't really an outright bully but she was very sneaky and kaniving (sp?). I could tell pretty quickly that she was a bully and rather than stick up for myself I just tried to stay away from her at all costs. In the end, I wish I would have stuck up for myself and told her I knew what her game was because I ended up getting laid off. She was able to get me and other co-workers that she didn't like laid off and those that she did like stayed. In the end everyone ended up getting laid off by I may have had a job for a few months longer.

It was one of those situations where "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer."

I do agree that there are many different types of "bullies". I like to think of it as a "Psycho" continuum or spectrum. Some people are bullies and others are just completely psychotic and will stop at nothing. I think they are motivated by different things. Some are motivated to excel and climb the ladder in their workplace, others are just down right evil (forked tongue and tail inclusive).

ShelleyERgirl, LPN · Jul 10, 2003

Originally posted by Scotty
Future RN Mandi and Dee Dee do not feel guilty and put the blame on yourselves. Bullies feed on other people's insecurity and high standards (i.e. you know you are not perfect). Even if you have done something wrong you do not deserve to be bullied. These people need sorted out, but we all know that sometimes people with the power to do this would rather look the other way.

Now I have two real horror stories to tell. But I must emphasise that this happened in a small totally ****ed up country where I was an expat worker with poor employment rights compared to the locals and I have never experienced anything like it in more civilised and regulated countries. New RNs and students please don't let this put you off nursing. I got through it and love my job these days. These are extreme cases.

I worked in LTC. There was an enrolled nurse who was real trouble. She bullied everyone, managers included. She would find out something about people that would embarass them or that they were scared of other people knowing, or she would lend them money or something, anything to gain power over them. She was always fishing for information about your personal life. I told her sweet FA. I was assertive but fair (I was RN, so usually in charge), so I avoided any real trouble with her for a long time. She would do stuff like:

One day I heard her tell an orderly to go somewhere. As soon as he left the unit she called the supervisor and said this orderly could not be found on the unit for more than an hour. He hadn't told her he was leaving, staffing levels were unsafe without him and he was always doing this. I called the supervisor and told her the truth immediately, and told the orderly what had happened and to watch his back.

She told a nurse who was going on holiday not to count the controlled drugs at the end of her shift - the bully would do it. Then she went straight to the supervisor and told her this nurse had not done the CD count because she was going on holiday.

She wrote 23 incident reports about a new grad (who was a good nurse).

She criticised good work and bullied the people to do her workload too or she would report them for their supposedly poor work.

Not calling a doc to review a patient who had extended his CVA and blown half his brain. The nursing aides said he was unconscious all day but she documented that he ate his lunch! She couldn't be bothered with the paperwork, CT scan, upset relatives or lifting the patient into bed. She left him sitting in a wheelchair. He was GCS 3.

I spoke to the bosses about her countless times, but they were scared of her too. How can one unfit to practice nurse cause such mayhem?

One night she wanted to get two nursing assistants into trouble about a patient who stubbed his toe, while getting into bed (unaided). I stood up to her and said as nurse in charge there was no way I was reporting them. They hadn't done anything wrong it would be a waste of managers and doctors time. She said I would be in trouble, because it happened when I was on the unit. I said no, you will be in trouble if his foot is seriously injured( heavy sarcasm), because I've been off the unit for two hours and in that time you - as nurse in charge - have done nothing about it. After that she was out to get me i.e. malicious rumours, telling people I'd said bad things about them, and just being the spanner in the works whenever I was in charge. She made a supervisor who covered our unit temporarily think that I thought this supervisor was useless and really critical of her and unhappy about my workload when in fact I thought this supervisor was ace and was happy with my workload.

I kept standing up to the b**** and reporting it to management. Things just escalated. One day she pulled my patient's NG feeding tube up to the back of his tongue while feed was running, to get me into trouble. I was devastated. This poor man was conscious and totally orientated, but had a CVA and could not talk, swallow or cough. He could have aspirated and died and he was so afraid. He understood what had happened. That poor man. I talked to four levels of management but nothing was done. She threatened me with violence and witchcraft - seriously! One night she and her husband followed me home.

I did a written statement of EVERYTHING that had ever happened and who I had reported it to, then got my lawyer to send it recorded delivery to every level of management in that hospital and keep papers about it in his vault. Those spineless swines cannot say they did not know and if the b**** ever does kill someone and it goes to court I will go back and make it clear that they all knew she wasn't fit to practice.

I moved jobs three weeks after that incident ...... but out of of the frying pan and into the fire. It was a cardiology ward and the boss was a bully. I hated her with a passion because she really knew her cardiac stuff but she didn't teach on the unit or use her knowledge to benefit patients. She used it to intimidate staff. She undermined and ritually humiliated people. She had the nurses from poor countries terrified that she would get them sent home if they ever challenged her. She would say one thing verbally (i.e. to one nurse who had just had a baby and her husband had left her and she had no family support - yes you can work day shift only. Then rostered the poor woman, who had no-one to look after her baby at night, to work nights only. The nurse had to work three months notice. We all swapped our day shifts with her, but what a b**** that manager was.)

I've written about this elsewhere on this site, but the worst thing she ever did to me was not support me when I had a young patient who was deteriorating (having a massive MI - only treatment s/l GTN and IV morphine a few times for the pain) and the consultant cardiologist would not listen to me and none of the junior docs would challenge him. She ( the nurse manager) actually ridiculed me in front of the other staff and said I'm sure a consultant cardiologist knows better than you if the patient is OK or not, when he wouldn't come to review the patient, or consider thrombolysis, despite my repeated requests. I said he can't know better than me if he doesn't come to see him and I begged her for help (I had already asked her to intervene). She laughed at me again and encouraged the other staff to join in. She said maybe his BP is so low because he has had GTN and morphine. I said maybe it's because he's in cardiogenic shock. The patient arrested and fifteen people turned up to resus him - unsuccesfully. Too little too late. He had the highest cardiac enzymes I have ever seen. I resigned and left that country.

It's just so hard to take that nurses will allow harm to come to patients in order to bully other staff. That was a really messed up country though (but tax free, that's why I was there.)

At least it means less malignant bullies bother me less. I see them trying to use their knowledge or position to intimidate people and I just despise them. Thankfully they are outnumbered by the good nurses who are quick to do favours and guide junior staff kindly.

Man, Scotty, talk about your evil b****es from hell! :devil: It's one thing to bully your coworkers, but to compromise patient safety? I don't think so!

rebel_red · Jul 10, 2003

Originally posted by funnygirl_rn
Sheeeeeeesh!! That woman is lucky I didn't put that ABD pad on her windshield...what a witch!! Agh!!

Before or after you used it hon? Our NM would have laughed her butt off and hung up. Can not believe she actually called her at home over an ABD pad.....

Tres

mattsmom81 · Jul 10, 2003

Originally posted by colleen10
Not to get away from the topic at hand but I don't think Rebel is saying that the people who are being abused are playing the "victim" on purpose and enjoy it.

I think she just meant that in her experience, sticking up for yourself at the get go when you first observe this type of behavior can often "nip it in the bud" so to speak. If you stick up for yourself in the first few weeks of working with a person like this they won't want to bother with you because you won't let them push you around.

This works with your average 'schoolyard' bully, but not those who have wormed their way into positions of power. These are a different animal; cunning, often charismatic, with sociopathic personalities. They are difficult to spot (initially), and do NOT back down when you confront them. They simply become more subversive and pick up the attack if you challenge them. My solution: get out. And I will from now on.

Someone who feels bullied EVERYWHERE they work is likely to benefit from assertiveness training, and may play a role in the problem. Many here have described one incident in a long career. A blanket statement regarding 'what do you get out of this' when we run into one in 20 yrs and acknowledge it, is not fair, IMO.

funnygirl_rn · Jul 11, 2003

Originally posted by rebel_red
Before or after you used it hon? Our NM would have laughed her butt off and hung up. Can not believe she actually called her at home over an ABD pad.....Tres

Heehee...after I used it! :devil: Seriously...I would never do that...but the thought did occur as I was walking out to the parking lot!

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2003

I was physically assaulted by a charge nurse once, in front of other staff. She flipped out because a pts' family member had not signed the pt's belongings list. Well, she really flipped out because she was a crazy, drunken low-life, but the belongings list was her excuse.

This nurse often came to work very hung over and unable to work. I was flabbergasted when our director took the charge nurse's side. It was just unreal.

I transferred to another unit soon afterwards. And the nurse who assaulted me?

I saw in the BON newsletter about six months later that she'd lost her license, court ordered revocation.

The boss that defended this wacko..well she's whole other thread. She was mean and abusive to many good staff. Especially good and kind CNAs. She drove all our good ones away.

Another crazy drunken nurse threatend (in front of other staff) to pour hot coffee on me, because he did not want to listen to report. He said "Blah blah. Everything's the same, whatever." I told him that, no, we'd had admits, pts' conditions had changed and that he had to listen to report.

He held the coffee up over my face. I reported him to mgmt, and they called him in for a meeting. He showed up w/ a lawyer, so they backed down. I took that oportunity to quit that job, and go back to school to get my ADN.

This nurse told me how he'd broken into the supervisor's office and taken all the write ups and verbal warnings he'd received out of his file. We'd had nine clinical managers in three years. So, he got a clean slate w/ each new boss that came along.

The unit was a very fancy inpt hospice unit. The nurse who'd threatend me w/ the coffee quit a few moths later, then brought his truck to the unit and helped himself to the pictures on the walls, lamps, etc.

He was later investigated by the BON and local law enforcment for suspicion of causing the death of several pts. The case was dropped for lack of evidence.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jul 11, 2003

I don't quite have such a degree of bullying that others on this thread do.

Right now i am a CNA, starting this august on my second year of PN school. I have one LPN that ALWAYS gives me a hard time!

First off she is in her 50's, completing her LPN schooling about two years ago, and is now persuing ADN. She's worked as a nurse for the past 2 years, and these are the only two years of her life that she's ever had a job. Her husband owns his own business that is extremely well-paying (I know this because she points this out at every available opportunity). And never fails to complete a shift without aying "you know i don't HAVE to work, i only do this for something to do." heck if that's what nursing is to you, and you want "something to do", why not come to my laundry and housecleaning??? It would keep her occupied for at least 5 days.

Point of this: this stuck up attitude of hers is ridiculous. There are many aspects of her job that are beneath her, constantly states "that's not MY job", when in fact she is to help ME help her patients in that way (supervisor told her this). If an incontinent patient is messy, she will take 30 minutes to find an aide to clean them up before she would EVER do it herself, has done this to me several times, then swears that she's too busy to help if that patient cannot roll themselves over (doesn't matter to her if someone throws their back out on a 300 lb. patient by themselves), THEN complains that it was my fault that the patient sat in it, but nevermind i have 34 other pateints to check on. I peak out of the room while i'm helping this person, and there she is, HARD AT WORK, putting in an order at landsend.com!!! Don't get me wrong, she is busy a lot, but when it comes to the "lowly help" things, better for her to pawn it off on someone else is her motto.

The thing i'm running into now is that while trying to be at two places at once (i work with 4 other nurses, on a floor with 35 beds, i float the entire floor), she threatens to report me (or any other aides that are working with her) ALL the TIME!! The latest "report threat" came because i was one minute late (ONE MINUTE NO JOKE) on my Q4 vitals on a pt. (due to ANOTHER patient that had vomited on himself and assisting another nurse with cleaning that poor man up). "you know I should report you to _____ about this". I ought to get her a tshirt that says that for Christmas....

She complains when she has 5 patients that it's too much. An average night can have the nurses with 6 or 7 patients per nurse, but she never has more than 4 typically. Or the charge nurse will try to assign another patient to her and she complains that she's "got too much already", and some poor nurse winds up with 7 just so she'll pipe down.

She'd have every right to report me if i am doing something wrong. However, i do my job, i know i do it well, not meaning i'm perfect, but as far as i'm concerned what i'm guilty of now is being quiet when she taunts me with that "report you" comment. grrrrrrrr:(

I remind myself I won't treat people the way she is the CNA's.

flashpoint · Jul 11, 2003

Used to work in LTC and we had an LPN who would run around and make sure toothbrushes were wet after reseidents were helped to bed. Not a bad idea, because I know oral care is skipped sometimes, but we also had a CNA that would run around with a hair dryer and dry all of the toothbrushes. The same CNA would also chew up crackers, chocolate, etc and spit bits of it into denture cups after the dentures had been cleaned. (Same LPN checked denture cups!) I caught the CNA doing the spit thing one night and sent her home. Also worked with a CNA who would use toilets in empty rooms and not flush! Empty rooms at the LTC were only cleaned weekly, so if she did it right after they were cleaned, sometimes her mess wouldn't be found for a week!

The latest and greatest...I work in a hospital now. We have a CNA that wanted a night off because her sister was visiting from out of town. Census was low, so two nurses were called off. The CNA called them both and begged them to let her take low census so she could spend time with her sister. Both refused...one had a sick kid and would have had to call off anyway and the other made plans with her family. The CNA ended up calling in sick and went to both of the nurses homes and slashed the tires on their cars...police caught her as she was slashing the last tire. She was fired the next day...

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Jul 11, 2003

I have seen my share, too. One small hospital was taken over by a true sociopath and the place run in the ground--had to file bankruptcy before this EVIL DON/CNO/CFO lady was run off. A lot of nurse managers or DONs refuse to acknowledge or deal with the horizontal violence which is SO pervasive in nursing. "Don't make waves" is the unspoken mantra in most health-care facilities. Unfortunately, bullying has serious effects: low morale, high turnover, and most importantly--PATIENT CARE IS COMPROMISED!!! Sometimes, the patients' very lives are at stake. My advice to you nurse managers: take bullying seriously and nip it in the bud--confront it head-on--don't just ignore it because IT WON'T GO AWAY on its own. Each health care facilty should adopt a NO TOLERANCE POLICY FOR BULLYING and enforce it!

RNNMD · Jul 12, 2003

Hi all, I have been a nurse for 23 years and have worked with every imaginable type of personality. I am now working with a male nurse who is torturing me. A few months ago, I called him on a potentially harmful error that involved a transfusion. Since then he is doing everything possible to make me look incompetent. we all make mistakes and I am certainly not perfect but this fellow is making up mistakes. I have followed the chain of command but for some reason, our head nurse is not seeing what everyone else sees. It doesn't make it better that he is smooth and knows just what to say.

I have submitted proof of his actions to her and nothing. I recently attempted to go over her head but the ADON does not want to get involved.

I don't know about any of you all out there, but when I think I have to cover my a__, I mess upmore.Isn't it bad enough that we have to guard ourselves against patients and families, now its co-workers.

All because of frail egos:confused: HELPPPPPPPP

RNNMD · Jul 12, 2003

:eek: hI IT'S ME AGAIN. I WAS READING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS OR HAD POSTED. I WANT TO SAY THAT I AM NO SHRINKING VIOLET. I AM EXTREMELY ASSERTIVE AND CALL A SPADE A SPADE. THIS IS THE PRIMARY REASON FOR THIS MAN'S ATTACKS. I DON'T THINK HE IS GOD AND WILL NOT GO ALONG WITH HIM IF I ABSOLUTELY KNOW HE IS WRONG. IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE FACT THAT I'VE BEEN AROUND A WHILE AND KNOW MORE THAN HE DOES AND IT DRIVES HIM WILD. HAS PULLED THIS CRAP ON EVERY NURSE THAT COMES TO THE FLOOR AND HAS MORE EXPERIENCE THAN HIMSELF. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE THE ONLY ONE THAT EVER REPORTED HIM. PLUS I DON'T FLIRT WITH HIM.

WE WORK ON A VERY BUSY MEDICAL/RENAL/ONCOLOGY UNIT.

THERE IS AN OLD EXPRESSION, "NUSES EAT THEIR OWN" WHICH WAS EXPANDED FROM "NURSES EAT THEIR YOUNG"

PLEASE, ANY NEW GRADS OUT THERE, DON'T LET ANY OF THIS DETER YOU FROM A FABULOUS PROFESSION. I'VE BEEN AROUND A LONG TIME AND THERE ARE DAYS WHEN MY FAVORITE EXPRESSION IS, "I'M GOING TO WAL-MART TO GET AN APPLICATION TO BE A GREETER!"

rebelwaclause, ASN, RN · Jul 12, 2003

Originally posted by colleen10
I did, I did just find my new motto!

Let me see if it appears as my sig. line.

:chuckle ... Now don't you feel empowered?