What's the worst thing the workplace bully did to you? has done to you?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I worked with a so-called nurse that took every monthly note out of the eight pts charts that I had to chart on and did God knows what with them. I couldn't prove it, but she was the only nurse at the nurses station when I finished up the very last one and said, "Pheeeew, thank God I'm done with those dreaded notes!" The next day I went back to one of them to check on something I wrote and it wasn't in there. Huh??? I checked another chart for the same thing and IT wasn't there either. "What the ----?" I checked the rest of them and not one was to be found! I went right to the head nurse and told her the story and then told her I wanted a transfer off the unit today because I could no longer work with that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!!!.... I was outta there in 2 hours.

She did other things like taking my work keys and hiding them for a few days until she saw me ripping my hair out trying to find them. When I finally asked for the last time, "Has anyone seen my keys before I spend $25 dollars to get new ones?" ($5 a key) She would say, "Oh, these?" And open the narcotic box and reach up top and way in the back and pull them out. "Yeah, thanks, those are mine!" and yank them out of her hand and give her the dirtiest look. She could have given them to me the first day I lost them, but nooooooooo, she watched me squirm for three days. I wanted to choke the "B!"

Another time I was decorating the unit for Valentine's Day. (actually had time to do this years ago) I must have cut out 500 hearts of all different sizes, plus bought some really nice decorations from the hallmark store. She asked me to run some blood to the lab. I asked her to watch my decorations, tape etc that were on one of those little stainless steel carts we used for meds (way back when) so the pt's wouldn't mess with it. (Alzheimer's unit) "No problem." I come back from the lab and I couldn't find the cart or the decorations. Asked her where did she put it. She said "I didn't touch it." Yet I found the cart put away, but no decorations. I just knew she put them some place so I searched high and low for them and never found them. I wasn't going to let her spoil my plans for decorating our unit, so that night I went home and I cut out another 500 hearts and went back to the store and bought some more prettier decorations. The next day I did the same thing and she says I found your decorations. "Where?" I said. "Right here in this drawer." "The h*ll you did!" I said "I looked in all of these drawers and they weren't there! But thanks, because now I have double the amount and will decorate to the hilt!" She says to me, ''Who's azz are you kissing?'' I said "No ones! Especially NOT yours!" Oh she burnt me up! But I got her back with all the decorating. Those were just a few things she would do to torment me besides humiliating me in report, spreading rumors about me, undoing dressings I did. She died 8 months after I transfered off the unit. Guess what from? Ca of the brain! And everyone that knew her had NOT one kind word about her.

So tell us if you care to share, your horror stories with the workplace bully. Inquiring minds would like to know.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.

Well, it apparently all hit the fan last week (I took 3 vacation days, Wed-Fri, so I just found out about this). Officematedearest provoked a fight with our clerical assistant (which we frequently does) and he called her a "b". The supervisor who intervened tried to calm my office mate down by trying to look at what might have provoked this guy to use such a word. Office mate got so upset that she called HR on supervisor, which entailed ratting on the clerical assistant, who is now in big trouble. I don't think he will get terminated, but he will get reprimanded. I don't condone name calling, but I am here to tell you that this chick is extremely annoying, and I can certainly imagine mitigating factors on the clerical assistant's part.

Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
Ya know, I think this phenom happens to kids and can be soooo devastating. My 10 yr old son who has ADHD and was also experiencing GI health problems (diarrhea, cramps gas, due to undiagnosed lactose intolerance) was being bullied in school. His teachers told me it was because he was perceived as 'weak'. When I challenged that and asked what we could do to counteract that , they had no answers for me. Now these bullies ganged up on him and physically hurt him during school, before and after and the teachers response was 'we can't be everywhere.' When my child fought back, he was punished right along with the aggressive boys who instigated the fight. It was a no win situation for my child and I ended up pulling him out and home schooling him. He STILL angrily remembers this period and it has affected his adult life.

Kids are horrid to other kids who are 'different'. Some of these kids grow up to bully as adults cuz they got away with it as kids. Girls bully too (we've talked about this here before..the hidden culture of aggression in girls....they do it too but it is more 'sly'.) As women, we know how they operate and we see some of the worst in nursing don't we. :rolleyes:

My son got suspended from the Boys and Girls Club afterschool program this year for socking a kid who was making fun of my son for not being good at Math. There were two of these kids and my son told them to stop making fun of him. They taunted him and imitated him saying that, and my son turned around and went to walk inside. Then one of them threw the ball and hit him in the back. That's when my son went after them. As far as I'm concerned, they got what they deserved. And they knew it, because they didn't say anything to the staff (this happened on the blacktop and no adults were around). The kid's Mom went into B&GC the next day complaining. The director called me at work and told me it had happened and what she said provoked it was the ball throwing. At this point, I didn't understand that she hadn't witnessed it. She told me it wasn't thrown hard. When I asked her why I wasn't told when I went to pick him up the day before, she said they didn't know and that the Mom had come in that morning. So I asked her how she knew how hard the ball had been thrown. She really p***ed me off. Not because my son was suspended, because there have to be consequences for fighting. But she didn't even ask for my son's version of events (and hasn't to this day!) and she said he couldn't come back until "she did an investigation" and I sat down in a meeting with her and this kid's Mom. Why should I sit down and let them villianize my son?!?!? And what kind of investigation is it that doesn't ask all parties involved for their side of the story??? My son went to the same after school program for 6 years before this and NEVER got into trouble. She actually said to me, "we want to make sure this doesn't happen to any other kids". I said "I would like to make sure my son isn't teased ever again, but there are no guarantees in life, are there?" I called the admin office and talked to the regional coordinator, who told me there was a standard three day suspension for this type of fight (one that wasn't unprovoked and where no one was hurt) and no parent meeting was required. Apparently, this director thought she'd make up the rules as she went along. I'm not even sure if she's there any more, I haven't seen her for weeks. And of course the little brat that started it all didn't get in any trouble at all. On the other hand, everyone knows that my son hit him and as far as the other kids are concerned, this kid is a rat. That is far worse punishment to a 7th grader than a 3 day suspension from B&GC (the only person who was punished was me by having to leave work early to go collect him after school! He was happy to come home.)

there's a [email protected] with frequent posts of much interest.

a recent entry last week was from a man who had written a book to help his own child - he invites people to contact him for a free copy of his book at [email protected] or to check www.youandmebullyfree.com

see what you think.

I have seen my share, too. One small hospital was taken over by a true sociopath and the place run in the ground--had to file bankruptcy before this EVIL DON/CNO/CFO lady was run off. A lot of nurse managers or DONs refuse to acknowledge or deal with the horizontal violence which is SO pervasive in nursing. "Don't make waves" is the unspoken mantra in most health-care facilities. Unfortunately, bullying has serious effects: low morale, high turnover, and most importantly--PATIENT CARE IS COMPROMISED!!! Sometimes, the patients' very lives are at stake. My advice to you nurse managers: take bullying seriously and nip it in the bud--confront it head-on--don't just ignore it because IT WON'T GO AWAY on its own. Each health care facilty should adopt a NO TOLERANCE POLICY FOR BULLYING and enforce it!

hi vicky. great post. thanks for all that u do and your committment for our Nursing Community and good patient care.

Specializes in LPN.

I am finding my self in the middle of a situation right now. I had to tell my manager about a med error a co worker did, and then lied about. Gave a large dose of insulin, then tried to cover it up. The pt began to crash big time, but forturnately I caught it. But, could have died very easily on my watch. So, I turned the numbers and times over to the manager. I didn't enjoy this. I know this particular nurse is quite loud and angry a lot. But, I really didn't have a choice. It wasn't the error that was so bad, but the lying and placing the pt in jeperdoy that made me report.

Now this nurse is really angry at me. Know what, your posts gave me the courage to write back to my manager and tell her about this. I am asking for an apogolgy. This will practically kill that nurse if she has to do this. I won't especially care for a false aplogy, but it is the principal.

I don't know what will happen, but I feel much better about myself thanks to you all. So, if you read this, say a prayer for my shakey knees, because being brave is hard work.

Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

We have a couple of nurses in our unit who bully people over things - usually dumb stuff - like calling a previous shift nurse at home to angrily inform them they hav't totaled their I/O's and they need to come back and do it - or that something wasn't done on time, stuff like that. They write up some of the stupidest stuff.

I have found that when one of these nurses starts in on the bullying the best thing to do is call them on the carpet right there and then.

"Are you bullying me about this?"

"I don't need to be bullied or beaten up about this"

"You do what you need to do, but the verbal abuse is not necessary"

The first line usually stops them dead in their tracks and they back right down. As much as they want to appear superior, they don't want to appear to be bullies or abusers. While they may still write the "incident" up, they don't go on to beat people up verbally. Our manager is also aware how many reports these few write up each month, and thankfully she is fair and talks to both parties.

I am finding my self in the middle of a situation right now. I had to tell my manager about a med error a co worker did, and then lied about. Gave a large dose of insulin, then tried to cover it up. The pt began to crash big time, but forturnately I caught it. But, could have died very easily on my watch. So, I turned the numbers and times over to the manager. I didn't enjoy this. I know this particular nurse is quite loud and angry a lot. But, I really didn't have a choice. It wasn't the error that was so bad, but the lying and placing the pt in jeperdoy that made me report.

Now this nurse is really angry at me. Know what, your posts gave me the courage to write back to my manager and tell her about this. I am asking for an apogolgy. This will practically kill that nurse if she has to do this. I won't especially care for a false aplogy, but it is the principal.

I don't know what will happen, but I feel much better about myself thanks to you all. So, if you read this, say a prayer for my shakey knees, because being brave is hard work.

Hi. Thank God you had the courage to say something. I am sure that this Nurse probably has, in the past, made errors before (we all do sometimes) that she has covered up. You really did the right thing.

Covering up errors is not ok. And, in the case, had u not been there, the pt. actually could have died!

So, thank you again for being brave and doing the right thing. If the nurse in question gives u any trouble, u need to let your supervisor know. A good supervisor will deal with it. That is part of their jobs, so you can be free to take care of patients. Best wishes to you. I've said a prayer.

I worked with a so-called nurse that took every monthly note out of the eight pts charts that I had to chart on and did God knows what with them. I couldn't prove it, but she was the only nurse at the nurses station when I finished up the very last one and said, "Pheeeew, thank God I'm done with those dreaded notes!" The next day I went back to one of them to check on something I wrote and it wasn't in there. Huh??? I checked another chart for the same thing and IT wasn't there either. "What the ----?" I checked the rest of them and not one was to be found! I went right to the head nurse and told her the story and then told her I wanted a transfer off the unit today because I could no longer work with that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!!!.... I was outta there in 2 hours.

She did other things like taking my work keys and hiding them for a few days until she saw me ripping my hair out trying to find them. When I finally asked for the last time, "Has anyone seen my keys before I spend $25 dollars to get new ones?" ($5 a key) She would say, "Oh, these?" And open the narcotic box and reach up top and way in the back and pull them out. "Yeah, thanks, those are mine!" and yank them out of her hand and give her the dirtiest look. She could have given them to me the first day I lost them, but nooooooooo, she watched me squirm for three days. I wanted to choke the "B!"

Another time I was decorating the unit for Valentine's Day. (actually had time to do this years ago) I must have cut out 500 hearts of all different sizes, plus bought some really nice decorations from the hallmark store. She asked me to run some blood to the lab. I asked her to watch my decorations, tape etc that were on one of those little stainless steel carts we used for meds (way back when) so the pt's wouldn't mess with it. (Alzheimer's unit) "No problem." I come back from the lab and I couldn't find the cart or the decorations. Asked her where did she put it. She said "I didn't touch it." Yet I found the cart put away, but no decorations. I just knew she put them some place so I searched high and low for them and never found them. I wasn't going to let her spoil my plans for decorating our unit, so that night I went home and I cut out another 500 hearts and went back to the store and bought some more prettier decorations. The next day I did the same thing and she says I found your decorations. "Where?" I said. "Right here in this drawer." "The h*ll you did!" I said "I looked in all of these drawers and they weren't there! But thanks, because now I have double the amount and will decorate to the hilt!" She says to me, ''Who's azz are you kissing?'' I said "No ones! Especially NOT yours!" Oh she burnt me up! But I got her back with all the decorating. Those were just a few things she would do to torment me besides humiliating me in report, spreading rumors about me, undoing dressings I did. She died 8 months after I transfered off the unit. Guess what from? Ca of the brain! And everyone that knew her had NOT one kind word about her.

So tell us if you care to share, your horror stories with the workplace bully. Inquiring minds would like to know.[/QUOTe

Good God:

I can't believe all the horror stories.

What is going on that this toxic culture exists?

What can we do?

I am so saddened and angry that people went into our Profession because they want to help people and yet are treated this way. How many have quit? How many develop hard hearts? How many cry at night?

Please go to my poll about workplace bullying. I am gathering statistics in order to alter toxic environments in the Healthcare Industry.

thanks.

and so sorry for all the abuse u have had to deal with.

I encourage u all to go to your DON and ask for advise.

Lynne.

"people who are bullied think there is something wrong with them."

:crying2:

I am a male nurse in Alabama,working third shift.The first shift nurse took all of my finger stick blood sugars out of the machine.Then told the DON that she noticed that I hsd not done my 0600 finger sticks.If this was a male I would have talked to him about it after work .I was a police officer for 15 years,and it was the same there.I do not know why people fell the need to lie and back stabb.What I find funny is that most of these people think no one knows what they have done good luck to you ken
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