After a particularly bad night, and several Code Blues....we had one on the top floor right at shift change. As I was leaving, after a long unsuccessful resuscitation effort, I went past a room of a little old lady, about 80lbs dripping wet, who looked as sweet as she could be, who clearly had a bad night herself for she was in 4 point soft restraints (when we used them) with her abductor pillow (this huge triangle shaped hard pillow placed between the legs for ALL hip replacements) in place, foley and IV tubing placed out of reach...spread eagle in the bed...who was calling out sweetly, Blue hair and all..."Excuse me! Excused me! Hey you Blondie! Could you please help me?" Exhausted, I stopped, smiled (for I never walk past a call for help), and asked her what could I do for her.
In all seriousness she asked..."Could I trouble you for a pair of scissors or perhaps a knife I seem to be stuck!" As I fought with every ounce of my self control to burst out laughing as her nurse, sporting a black eye, said...."Over my dead body is she getting loose until I leave....the sweet angelic face called the police that we were burglars, beat us with her call light and has a mean right hook...she might look sweet now but she had the devil in her last night!" At first I was stunned and then we both burst out laughing.
I told the patient that I was sorry and she would have to remain stuck until the doctor came...she let loose with a stream of the most foul language I have ever heard (up until that point anyways) from a Little old lady and referred to us as female dogs.....then hocked up, and spit accurately, the largest lugie I had ever seen!!!
Lesson here...looks can be deceiving.