Was I wrong to refuse to help? - page 2

This is sort of long, so please forgive me in advance! I was recently asked to resign from my job...not fired, but asked to resign. My manager felt that I am "not a good fit for the team" and... Read More

  1. by   Town & Country
    Totally agree with everyone else here.............! Don't let it get you down.
  2. by   fergus51
    "I added.... that I will not do her work for her"

    I thought that comment was a little catty and completely unecessary. I do think you were right in refering her to a hospital employee though and her reaction was certainly uncalled for.
  3. by   flashpoint
    I don't deny that my response was catty...she just stood there giving me her "who do you think you are to say no to me?" look. She has a long history of sitting behind the desk with her feet up while the CNAs and LPNs answer her patient's call lights, pull her meds from Pyxis, bring her the cordless phone, and fetch her charts. Had it been anyone else, I probably wouldn't have said that.

    Tomorrow our chief is having a meeting with the ER manager to discuss a number of things going on between ER and EMS...I would love to be a fly on the wall for that one!
  4. by   mercyteapot
    cotjockey, I don't really think the remark was catty. I think it was blunt and to the point, telling her why you refused to read the strip. I think it is a female inclination to feel like we are out of line any time we're not sweet and polite, and frankly, what was called for here was a candid response to an entirely inappropriate request.
  5. by   Luv2BAnurse
    so she brought a strip to the ER, from the floor....Hipaa violation?
  6. by   gypsyatheart
    I don't think you were wrong in the least. In fact, I can't believe this nurse still has her job! I also agree that had you interpreted the strip, you could've been held liable! I hope you're working in a more functional environment cause that place sure sounds messed up! LOL
  7. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from Luv2BAnurse
    so she brought a strip to the ER, from the floor....Hipaa violation?
    HIPAA wouldn't come into play unless the patient's identity was revealed.
  8. by   RoxanRN
    Quote from Judee Smudee
    I agree with the poster that objected to this person calling you bad names. It is possible that if you report it she will deny.
    I agree with everyone here.... I know the frustration of being asked to resign and then having to still deal with them in other professional contacts.

    I might suggest that now anytime you have face-to-face contact with this person, that you have your partner with you. I realize this may not always be possible. Most definitely, don't let her get you in a room with no witnesses.
  9. by   CrunchRN
    You were totally within your rights, and I don't blame you a bit. How arrogant of them to think they could have it both ways. best of luck to you.
  10. by   fergus51
    Quote from mercyteapot
    cotjockey, I don't really think the remark was catty. I think it was blunt and to the point, telling her why you refused to read the strip. I think it is a female inclination to feel like we are out of line any time we're not sweet and polite, and frankly, what was called for here was a candid response to an entirely inappropriate request.
    I usually don't even like to use the word catty, but I do think there is a difference between candid ("I am not an employee here anymore, you should ask another RN if you are uncomfortable with the strip") and catty. I'm not trying to slam the op at all. I think her actions were right and the other nurse had no right to loose control like that. I just think that a better choice of words can often avoid all that drama in the first place. Then you don't have to worry about her supervisor and your supervisor and the gossip and what happens next time you see her, etc....

    Lord knows my mouth has gotten me into trouble more times than I can count, but I am learning to bite my tongue and keep the personal feelings out of it. If I ever think "had it been anyone else I wouldn't have said that", then it's probably not a good thing to say to anyone. It's not about being sweet or being a doormat. I've just found that leaving the extra unecessary digs out of a discussion generally works out better for me ESPECIALLY if I have a history with someone.
  11. by   traumaRUs
    I am a pre-hospital RN and occasionally transport to the ER where I am employed. There is a clear-cut role delineation so I have to agree with your handling of this instance. Good luck.
  12. by   Daytonite
    I don't think you were wrong to decline to read and give your thought on a rhythm strip, but I think there was a more tactful way to handle it than to say to a former colleague that she should either consult another RN or call her nurse manager at home if she had any doubts. Adding that you do not work there any more and that you were not going to do her work for her was pretty nasty, I think. I can see why you were told that you are "really just not a nice person". You say you are really frustrated about being told that you are not a "good fit" any more. Why don't you do something about that as it is obviously bothering you a great deal? Frustration comes from feeling helpless and incompetent in the way a situation is handled. If you have an employee assistance program with your current employer why don't you make use of their services to help you develop an understanding of your behavior and what you can do to change it? Otherwise, you are going to continue to feel frustrated when these kinds of incidents come up and you are criticized. If there is no employee assistance program some counseling might help you out. It was very brave of you to make the post and disclose the things you did. I truly think you are not very happy with yourself right now and are looking for help.
  13. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from Daytonite
    I don't think you were wrong to decline to read and give your thought on a rhythm strip, but I think there was a more tactful way to handle it than to say to a former colleague that she should either consult another RN or call her nurse manager at home if she had any doubts. Adding that you do not work there any more and that you were not going to do her work for her was pretty nasty, I think. I can see why you were told that you are "really just not a nice person". You say you are really frustrated about being told that you are not a "good fit" any more. Why don't you do something about that as it is obviously bothering you a great deal? Frustration comes from feeling helpless and incompetent in the way a situation is handled. If you have an employee assistance program with your current employer why don't you make use of their services to help you develop an understanding of your behavior and what you can do to change it? Otherwise, you are going to continue to feel frustrated when these kinds of incidents come up and you are criticized. If there is no employee assistance program some counseling might help you out. It was very brave of you to make the post and disclose the things you did. I truly think you are not very happy with yourself right now and are looking for help.
    I think suggesting counseling is way out of the bounds of what the OP was asking for our opinions on, and I also think it is entirely inappropriate given the small amount of information she's shared. Maybe what she actually thinks is that, God forbid, the most important quality in a nurse is competence and not the ability to make friends and play nice. Some of the biggest asp kissers where I work are also the least efficient at their job. I know that more than one of my co-workers has called me the b word on more than one occasion, and yet, I consistently get superior evaluations. I don't need someone with excellent social skills to take care of me when I'm sick, I need someone with excellent nursing skills, and not setting that as priority number one is ridiculous. Having a firm grip on reality and telling it like it is are not character flaws that require therapy.

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