Visitor from He** - page 2

Maybe I was just cranky from lack of sleep yesterday (baby was sick and up all night- should have called in), but one of my patients had a visitor that just irritated the heck out of me. Note... Read More

  1. by   walk6miles
    I read (and reread) the comments regarding this visitor from hello.... why are we nurses willing to bite our tongues and put up with this demeaning behaviour? Must be because in some cases we are not backed up/supported by our managers. Why are we willing to allow our profession to be reduced to "waitress, cleaning lady, punching bag"? We worked hard to get our licenses; we deserve respect! If our jobs are on the line because we demand that respect, and we refuse to allow anyone to berate us - then so be it. The nursing shortage has a great number of causes; I believe the treatment we nurses receive from patients, patients' families as well as physicians and administrators adds to the reasons for the shortages.

    Let us try to remain professionals and at the same time, maintain our positions as patient advocates. No where in the oath I took at my pinning service (many, many years ago) did it say I had to be a doormat.
  2. by   imenid37
    Quote from TazziRN
    My my, she has a huge sense of self-importance, doesn't she???
    Just think if she really was that important, maybe he'd only need one girlfriend!
  3. by   Soup Turtle
    The orange toenail thing is just wEiRd! :uhoh21:
  4. by   BBFRN
    Quote from mercyteapot
    I like the way you answered- I'm his nurse. I might have been tempted to say ''are you feeling ill? Do we need to admit you?'' but like you declining to call the lady on the orange nails, would've thought better of it in the interest of keeping my job.
    Hilarious reply- I wish I had thought of it!
  5. by   muffie
    weirdo
  6. by   megananne7
    As soon as I saw the orange toenails, I would've told her to leave and if she refused, I'd let security get involved.

    What guy wants orange toenails esp. when they are in that kind of condition? It's not like he stand up for himself.
  7. by   BBFRN
    Quote from walk6miles
    I read (and reread) the comments regarding this visitor from hello.... why are we nurses willing to bite our tongues and put up with this demeaning behaviour? Must be because in some cases we are not backed up/supported by our managers. Why are we willing to allow our profession to be reduced to "waitress, cleaning lady, punching bag"? We worked hard to get our licenses; we deserve respect! If our jobs are on the line because we demand that respect, and we refuse to allow anyone to berate us - then so be it. The nursing shortage has a great number of causes; I believe the treatment we nurses receive from patients, patients' families as well as physicians and administrators adds to the reasons for the shortages.

    Let us try to remain professionals and at the same time, maintain our positions as patient advocates. No where in the oath I took at my pinning service (many, many years ago) did it say I had to be a doormat.
    Uhh...I am no doormat, but thanks. I work on an open heart unit, and most patients see how clinically valuable I am, so this isn't the norm where I work. I did bite my tongue in order to maintain a professional boundary with this women, and I did advocate for my patient by booting her out of the room (3 times) when appropriate, and by not divulging his private information to her.

    I chose not to confront her about the toenails, because I know myself enough to know when my mouth will get me in trouble, and I was not feeling very therapeutic at that point.
  8. by   BBFRN
    Quote from imenid37
    Just think if she really was that important, maybe he'd only need one girlfriend!
    True.
  9. by   Batman24
    Painting his toenails is odd to say the least. Most men don't paint their toenails so doing it to someone in the hospital when they aren't able to speak up strikes me as I don't even know the word...controlling comes to mind. It just doesn't seem to be normal behavior for a woman to come into an ICU and do this. Yuck.
  10. by   BBFRN
    [quote=mercyteapot;2171516][quote=GingerSue;2171443]
    She comes up to the nurse's station and says, "We need our nurse." That just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason- like she was summoning her waiter, or something. When I introduced myself as his nurse, she says he needs mouthcare. I told her I had just done it.

    The nurse is assigned to the patient. Family centered care doesn't extend all the way to providing nursing services for visitors. Using the word ''our'' instead of ''his'' implies a sense of entitlement. I wasn't there, either, but I've dealt with enough such situations that I know just to what the OP was referring in his/her irritation to that ''request''.
    You hit the nail on the head. I was his nurse, and was there to take care of his needs- not hers. I was not being paid to take care of her need to one-up the other girlfriend in concern for him. I was being paid to make sure he recovered and didn't die. The mouth care thing kind of bugged me too, because the way she said it was like she had to keep on top of me in order to make sure I did my job. That's especially irritating, because I am pretty anal about all areas of care for my patients- especially mouth care in my intubated patients, as I don't want to add pneumonia to their list of problems.
  11. by   BBFRN
    Quote from Batman24
    Painting his toenails is odd to say the least. Most men don't paint their toenails so doing it to someone in the hospital when they aren't able to speak up strikes me as I don't even know the word...controlling comes to mind. It just doesn't seem to be normal behavior for a woman to come into an ICU and do this. Yuck.
    Yeah- she's concerned about his mouth care and washing his hair, but not his dignity? It led me to wonder if she wasn't getting back at him for having another girlfriend.
  12. by   TrudyRN
    Quote from Baptized_By_Fire
    Yeah- she's concerned about his mouth care and washing his hair, but not his dignity? It led me to wonder if she wasn't getting back at him for having another girlfriend.
    She was probably drunk or high or PMS'ing or perimenopausal. Or feeling insecure, scared, powerless, etc.
  13. by   MarySunshine
    Deepest sympathies to the OP. She sounds AWFUL!

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