Smile some more

  1. What's the best story you have about patients trying to get away with things their not supposed to.

    Yesterday we had a patient dump a drink into his urinal to keep from getting cathed. Unfortunatly for him he forgot about the ice Can you say Slushie!

    We had a diabetic PCU pt send her adorable grandson down to our floor to ask for cookies! He was really cute, he almost got them

    I have caught a diabetic patient crawling past the nurses station to get to the vending machine. She tried to say she dropped something and was looking for it

    Please send some funny stories. I just worked 3 12's and need a boost


    IF YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING, YOU'RE NOT LIVING!!
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   Notanurse
    I don't have any stories but you sound like you'd be fun to work with. What type of nursing do you do now? Love your quote.
  4. by   P_RN
    We had a guy who was a frequent visitor to our unit, alaways with exotic illnesses. He was admitted one time with R/O kidney stones.

    I SWEAR when he called the nurse to the room, there was blood all over his toilet and in the strainer were

    3 small

    APPLE SEEDS that he "passed."


    We never came across him again.

    I never said he was smart.

    And no, his name was not Mr. Munchausen
  5. by   prmenrs
    Years ago, I was taking care of renal transplants. One night, the surgical team was rounding late and got off the elevator just in time to see one of their dialysis pts paying the pizza delivery guy!!

    Guess what THEY had for dinner that night?
  6. by   hoolahan
    Patients smoking pot in the bathrooms, several times.

    Several pt's making out.

    One woman giving her boyfriend oral "stimulation" the night before OHS, those 40-yr-olds have to remind themselves they are manly men. Guess he was afraid he would die w/o one last go at it!

    Pt's sneaking kids into the icu and thinking they could hide them by pulling the curtain, forgot about those cute little feet peeking out from underneath.
  7. by   frustratedRN
    the poor guy who was in so much pain he needed fentanyl....lots of it. and phenabarbital and methadone. his pain was terrible. he didnt know what he was going to do.
    he wasnt searching for drugs honest. he had been clean for a long time. his boyfriend vouched for him.
    he would take any test we wanted him to.
    so he did.
    and he was right....his urine was clean. totally devoid of all opiods...even the ones we gave him....lol
  8. by   semstr
    The guy who send us his sperm in a letter, so it could be tested anonymous!
  9. by   ToofunnyRN
    Hi Notanurse
    I'm a pediatric oncology nurse at heart, but lately I've been tinkling around in med-surg/ger disquised as a pediatric floor. Those recruiters were such kidders when they hired me. You know they tell you that you do have a little overflow of adults
    I'm transferring to the ICU as soon as possible! I miss taking care of really sick people! I hope to become a CRNA.
    I do have alot of fun at work! Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying!

    I forgot to tell you about the 20 year old terminal cancer patient we had. He had been a patient forever and would go down to smoke or hang out with his friends. One time he decided to walk about 4 blocks over to Burger King. Of course he took his IV pole, with him. The worst part was that one of our attending MDs was out have a whopper at the same time. Yikes


    One time we had a patient with that syndrome where they can't stop eating. I can't think of the name of it. Anyway we had never had a pt with that before and really didn't know how bad it could be. I was working nights. While we were in other patients rooms she came out and helped herself to all the food in the pt fridge & cleaned out the snack cabinet. We were laughing at how we hoped none of the pts wanted anything to eat that night. Of course it wasn't so funny when realized she got our food too!!
  10. by   mustangsally
    The ETOH w/d patient who had been after me all day to let her go outside to have a smoke. This is a patient who is very difficult to keep her staging level down and was lethargic at this time from the lorazepam we had given her to keep her at a low level on the protocol scale to avoid dt's. Less than an hour later I am called down to her room, yes with the door closed and the strong scent of cigarette smoke in the hall. Upon entering the room patient denies smoking, finally after straight out asking her where she put the cigartette bec ause I didn't want the whole hospital to burn down, she stated she threw it out the window. It was just very frustrating after trying to get some relationship of trust with my patient that we were trying to help her then to have her sit in her room and smoke, like we couldn't smell it, argghhhh. Oh yeah I forgot she had her nicotine patch on at that time, needless to say we removed it before she became really tachy for us.


    Next patient, never had him but heard all about him and saw him in the hall several times. Obviously this guy really needed a nicotine fix we would catch him smoking in his room numerous times and each and every time he would deny it, he would also go outside to smoke, guess he couldn't wait until then. Needless to say when the guy left the house keeper called us into his room, htere was a large pile of cigarette butts on the window sill.

    pt. who accidently pullled out there IV (ETOH w/d patient) and proceeded to rewrap there iv tubing onto over the site where the iv was with gauze that we had placed there to prevent pt from pulling out (out of site, out of mind). Needless to say his nurse immediatly caught his mistake as the bed was soaking wet and his arm was bleeding, hmmm, at least you got to give it to the patient for trying
  11. by   BrandyBSN
    One of our home health patients is on Oxygen therapy, with the kind of tank that can be worn in a little backpack.

    We walked in and there she was, wearing her oxygen tank on her back, frying chicken on a gas stove, happily smoking a cigarette!!! I asked her to back away from the stove and come see us at the door. I didnt want to walk in until that tank was safely awake from an open flame. SHEEESH!

    We did the assessment, and spent the rest of the visit talking about safe oxygen use

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