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Nurses General Nursing

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Guess what was included in my paycheck this week. As if the amount on the check wasn't offensive enough my hospital decided to help out the staff by giving us some "tips" on how to speak to our physicians. Some examples. I swear these are real!

Ask them how THEY are doing (after all they've been listening to patients complain all day)

Avoid calling them by their first name

Keep it short and sweet. Don't waste their time by giving more information than they want. Two statements or less will do!

Greet them warmly and with a smile

Always ask if there is something you can do for them

If you see them in the halls, smile and say hello

There was even a whole section of actual examples!!

When I first saw it I thought it was a joke. Especially since I had a doc tell me not to call him for stupid questions and hang up on me the day before. (a call I made at a parents request)

Any comments???:D

He! He! He! That IS funny! You must work at a private hospital. Now I remember why I hated private hospitals and love working in a large university hospital. Some Docs and hospital administrators don't even know how arrogant and stupid they really are!:D

Slowone,

I love yours!!!:D

We also had phone manner class and phantom callers to make sure we got it right. Nothing in our pay checks like that but the checks are a joke themselves. You ought to send administration Slowones memo.LOL:rolleyes:

THIS IS TOOOOO FUNNY !!! TOO FUNNY RN REVERSE THIS AND APPLY IT TO NURSES AND WE WILL ALL BE HAPPY :) :mad: :confused:

Specializes in Home Health.

excellent slowone!!!!!!

toofunny, you must print that and send it to admin, anonymously of course!!! that is perfect slowone!!

Specializes in NICU.

Did all the doctors get a similar memo given to them regarding talking to the nurses? If not, I would have to say that this demeans the nurse and deifies the doctor. Send them the one Slowone posted!

Forgive me if this sounds offensive, but I think the post failed to include the last memo on the list: "...and may I now offer you a BJ?"

Specializes in ER, Hospice, CCU, PCU.

All of our staff has to go to a MANDATORY Class. "Changing Lemons into Lemonaide" which is about service recovery.

----After the idiot hits you in the face with his dinner tray this class teaches how to turn that into a good (Profitable) situation for the hospital. Basically smile and ask him what he would like on his next tray-----

It's all about how the hospital can make money by getting "customers" to come back. Of course I always thought the goal in medicine was to "Heal" the patient, not turn him into a frequent flyer.. Hell what Do I know??

We now have "SCRIPTING" classes also. We are supponsed to memorize what to say in each situation. "Hello, my name is Bambi, how may I assist you today" etc. I guess if you can't create androids to look like humans you must make your humans sound like androids.

I keep hoping and hoping that I soon win the lottery so I no longer have to depend on a pay check. Than I go volunteer for the Red Cross or something where beng a nurse is appriciated.:( :eek: :p :rolleyes:

Good one KRVRN!

Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.

This was hysterical! Do they ever quit?

Slowone, I loved your suggestion.

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