Quote from MekBlizz
Thats one thing I did do with the last call. When they asked about me working with her I said, "Its been a long time since Ive worked with her and that we only worked about a year together." and when I answered questions I would say, "I cant recall her ever being late." which was true because I worked 3-11 and she worked 7-3 but CNAs and nurses complained about her work, eventually leading to write ups and a firing. So even though, I feel like Im lying, I am in a way but I guess its going around the truth, instead of saying "I dont know if she was ever late we worked 2 different shifts." I just said, "I cant recall her ever being late." That type of lie. Still isnt right Im sure. But I am so glad the advice you gave, never thought about saying, "Im not sure if I can give her reference as it has been many years since Ive worked with her." and I will let her know that when I speak to her too - ThANKS everyone! Never thought of that.
PS- I didnt think this would jeopardize my license, I just figured she was taking advantage of it by using it as reference to make her look good because she knows theres at least ONE RN that would give her a good reference, me. SMH! Im so glad you guys advised me on this, now I know how to handle it.
Why not just tell the potential employer that you are related, haven't worked together for quite some time, don't feel comfortable giving a reference, and end the call. Then call and leave a message with your cousin saying that you don't want her using you as a reference and that if anyone else calls you they will get the same answer from you.
She's using your name without your permission, so there's no reason for you to compromise yourself to protect her, and you don't owe the potential employers anything more than to be polite in declining to answer their questions.