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  1. Feb 12, '10 by NurseLoveJoy88
    I have a huge phobia when it comes to dealing with residents that expire. To be honest when ever I see an expired resident my pulse goes up , I tremble, and the image of their body stays in my mind. Whenever I suspect a resident on hospice has passed I always call an aide in the room when doing postmortum care. However, there was one resident that looked so scary when he passed that I couldn't even touch him. I feel like a terrible nurse and can't wait to get out of geriatrics. I know as a nurse I must see patients die but some of them look so scary and I can't sleep at night. Please help me, get over this phobia.

  2. 39 Comments so far...

  3. Feb 12, '10 by marineswife0809
    im the same way also... im a cna i dont know if you are. but i usally cleaned them up and make them look good before while they are breathing. for when they do expire i dont have to go back in the room,, also i would have another cna with me to help
  4. Feb 12, '10 by annaedRN
    It can be a little scary at first. I just always keep in mind that this was someone's mom, dad, child, sweetheart, etc...and that if it was your family - what would you want for them? I have found talking to them a little, letting them know you are performing one last act of respect, helps a little. I know I would want that for my grandma/grandpa. Just focus on each part you are cleaning, moving until you relax some. It really does get easier in time but there is nothing wrong in asking for help. Hope it gets better for you
    Jessy_RN, Chaya, Biogirl4, and 7 others like this.
  5. Feb 12, '10 by sharn171
    Hi NurseLoveJoy88,

    Maybe you should watch this film called "Departures". It is a cute, charming and heart-warming Japanese film (English subtitles) that gave me a whole new perspective on death. I had a warm fuzzy feeling after watching it. I believe it won an Academy Award as well as an Oscar. =)
  6. Feb 12, '10 by CrazierThanYou
    I'm just curious, what is "scary" about it? Yes, I realize they are dead and it is sometimes very sad but I just can't see what is scary about it.
  7. Feb 12, '10 by NurseLoveJoy88
    Thanks every one. The fact that they are expired don't bother me. I can do care and etc. Its just the WAY they look. Some of them really waste away and look horrific, especially when the mouth is hung open and the eyes are bucked wide and won't close. I guess I will learn to cope.
  8. Feb 12, '10 by ChuckE
    That was a great movie - and I don't say that very often about a movie at all.

    Though I don't believe there's a DVD release with English subtitles when I saw it.
    Quote from sharn171
    Hi NurseLoveJoy88,

    Maybe you should watch this film called "Departures". It is a cute, charming and heart-warming Japanese film (English subtitles) that gave me a whole new perspective on death. I had a warm fuzzy feeling after watching it. I believe it won an Academy Award as well as an Oscar. =)
  9. Feb 12, '10 by tencat
    If you roll up a towel and put it under the person's jaw, it will help keep it closed. Not sure what to do about eyes, though.
  10. Feb 12, '10 by leslie :-D
    Quote from NurseLoveJoy88
    Thanks every one. The fact that they are expired don't bother me. I can do care and etc. Its just the WAY they look. Some of them really waste away and look horrific, especially when the mouth is hung open and the eyes are bucked wide and won't close. I guess I will learn to cope.
    when i first started hospice, it made me somewhat uncomfortable doing post-mortem care.
    it wasn't the mouth open that bothered me, but the eyes that just.wouldn't.close.

    now when i'm w/a dying pt, i encourage them to close their eyes while i speak softly and gently to them.
    it relaxes them and their eyes remain shut after they die.
    i don't do this for me, but for the families who wish to say their good-byes.

    you're not alone, and it does take getting used to.

    leslie
    HoneyDew70 and tewdles like this.
  11. Feb 12, '10 by CrazierThanYou
    Quote from NurseLoveJoy88
    Thanks every one. The fact that they are expired don't bother me. I can do care and etc. Its just the WAY they look. Some of them really waste away and look horrific, especially when the mouth is hung open and the eyes are bucked wide and won't close. I guess I will learn to cope.
    Okay, I understand.