Patients Treat Nurses Like Garbage!

[lisa41rn]

I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak rudely to patients and my thought has always been that the patients pay a fortune for their care and deserve a caring, nice and knowledgeable nurse. I'm starting to think otherwise and see why so many nurses speak up to the patients. In the past, I've nearly always taken a difficult patient and could bring out the best in them. My recent patients are just so rude. I'm the first to have the common sense to realize their illnesses are often new and anxiety can bring out the worst in people. Regardless, it doesn't give them the right to treat those caring for them the most, like garbage. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work and really wonder if I want to go to work, a job I once loved, to be treated terribly. I know many nurses I work with, who are honest, admit they would love to leave and do something different, but often don't have any other options but to be a nurse. How do you all deal with your rude patients??

[gt4everpn, BSN, RN]

sometimes i work in the rehab unit and some patients want me to leave their meds by the bedside so that they can take it before they sleep which is in the next 4hrs, i recently had an argument with a patient who kept telling me i was allowed to do it, i refused to leave the meds with her, what if a narcotic was in there! and then if someone else comes into her room and steals the medicine it'll guess who'll get in trouble!! people dont understand that there are rules!! she could care less about my license!

[Kanani_Ikike]

Gee. I wonder why your pateints are rude.

They're rude because they're morons. They don't have any manners.

Don't get it twisted, sweetie, I treat my patients like gold. But I do not tolerate any monkey-business. Ya understand?

[rita359]

Don't think it's something that changed over the years. Just like in the general public, there are rude and obnoxious patients. Combine that with illness infliction, general problems stewing at home (marriage, debt, etc) and you indeed become the focal point for any "unloading."

I've also had a few runs of groups of intolerable patients. Simply treat them the best I can and pray the next day or rotation will bring something better. I actually feel challenged by people like this and lay on the compassion, kindness and patience to see if it changes them. Sometimes it does absolutely nothing.

I've learned to simply smile during times of patients' ranting and/or complaining and complete the task at hand. Return later to see if things have changed. If the day's just progressing horribly, I feel it's just one of those rotations that will get better with time and know in my heart that not everyone can do this type of nursing.

And, I just suck it up.

Best of luck

Phil

Oh yes, it has changed a lot over the years!!! I can't say exactly when it changed but patients now are a lot more demanding than they used to be. Young patients who have surgery don't think they should hurt. Oh yea! And addicts were few and far between at one time. Addicts seem to be especially demanding.

[EDNewbie]

It never ceases to amaze me, that for all for all of the excuses we make for patients that exhibit this anti social behaviour, the only staff that is the butt of this obnoxious behavior is nursing.

I have never observed a patient treat the physical therapist, respirstory therapist, dietician, etc, with the sam deplorable behavior the we experience on a daily basis.

Folks, there is no excuse for this conduct, and we perpetuate it by tolerating it.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Spokane, Washington

Well said!

[Labor Nurse]

I am a Canadian R.N. and when I graduated in 1991 we had an abundance of nurses employed in our hospitals, plus we are unionized. (whole other issue).This made it difficult for a new grad to land a full-time position. I could not survive, pay my student loan or even get a loan for a car with my on- call casual position until i could acquire the hours for enough seniority to even apply for the already scarce permanent positions, so i was fortunate to travel nurse and work in Texas, taking on Cardiac Telemetry in San Antonio, Beaumont, and Baytown, where the people and my patients where so kind, and thankful. Texans are very friendly people, and most families that I came in contact with teach their young to use polite and respectful words. It was almost embarrassing the treatment I received, not only as a Nurse but a member of their community. I am sorry you are experiencing such poor attitudes from your patients. Maybe a change of environment is in your horizon. One cranky patient is enough let alone FIVE! Not all your patients are carrying health insurance either which could be real stress issues for a majority of your patients. A lengthly illness can be a costly burden for a lot of families, something us Canadians take for granted with free health care. My American patients for the most part where a lot sicker and farther advanced in their illness, waiting longer to seek medical attention than my Canadian counter parts. People may have too much expectations on the care givers to cure them of their ailments in a short period of time..I guess you have to show patience with your patients eh! I'm sure its not you they are angry at, its the whole hospital experience. I also find 5-6 patients in primary care is way to much of a work load for Nurses. I had experienced that work load in Baytown Tx and that was burn out waiting to happen. Lucky, I was younger and full of energy then because at age 46..no way I could take on that assignment. Try not to be rude, be your patient's advocate, treating all your patients with the same care and respect. Your actions speak louder than words most of the time. Prioritize your patient assignment because your sickest person is has to come first. Good luck... Dabuchan R.N.C.C.N.

I think we all try to be advocates for our patients. However, PR promises them the moon. So much hype that it becomes unrealistic and impossible for the nurse. Some of my induction of labor patients are demanding their epidural prior to start of induction. When they don't get it they don't blame the MD who said NO, they blame the nurse! The family complains to administration and we get a visit from the DON and get chewed out because our patients pain needs weren't met and are reminded that we want them to be "very satisified" with their care. We try to explain that they were in no pain - yet. Falls on deaf ears. Administration cares only about the green. Labor Nurse, RNC

[gina gina]

I HAVE A HOMECARE PATIENT NOW THAT TRIES TO START SUMTHIN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WITH ME.HE RECENTLY WANTED ME TO BRING HIS FAT ***, THANKSGIVING DINNER.I MADE UP EVERY EXCUSE NOT TO. I TREAT HIM LIKE A DOLLAR SIGN BECUZ THAT IS ALL HE MEANS TO ME.I FEED HIM WITH A LONG HANDLE SPOON.HE HAS A NASTY ATTITUDE TOWARDS EVERYBODY.I DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT HIM.I TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY TREAT ME NOW.I USE TO BE PASSIVE AND TURN THE OTHER CHEEK BUT I'D ONLY END UP FEELING MISERABLE AND RAN OVER AND USED.NOW THAT I SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF AND GIVE PEOPLE BACK WHAT THEY GIVE ME,LIFE IS 100% BETTER NOW!!!

[EmmaG, RN]

Wow. I wanted to respond to that, but I'm speechless.

[MAISY, RN-ER, BSN, RN]

Wow. I wanted to respond to that, but I'm speechless.

DITTO!

Maisy:uhoh21:

[callmekipling]

I've worked with lots of different people (yes, i'm talking 'demographics') as coworkers, pts and family members. I think a lot of youth culture today places a lot of weight on 'getting your respect'. Turning the other cheek, for instance, is a biblical admonition not to beat the tar out of somebody simply for besmirching your good name.

People *are* in pain, they're narc'd out, upset, alone, their routine is disrupted. They're placed in an environment that's unfamiliar, friends and loved ones may only have a few minutes to stop in, and on top of all that, it must be really boring to sit on your duff for four days postop (or whatever the circumstances may be). Most importantly, they don't get social calls - any professional visits they get will most likely be "what can I do for you" or "this is what I'm supposed to do for you" - so they may well get used to making requests/demands.

So I try to give any pt the benefit of the doubt, and consider it may well be my pride that's casting their manner in an uncomplimentary light.

That said, some people are a__hats no matter what you do. I learned, not from nursing but from previous employment in fast food, that more often than not you're not even yourself in the customer/pt's eyes.. you're a representation of the company. You want a double cheeseburger and it comes out with half a tiny sliver of pickle, do you write a quick and polite note to the sandwich guy and CC it to the head of employee education? Heck no! You address the kid at the counter and charge HIM with fixing it. The comparison's not perfect because in fast food you really are the go-to guy, but the point remains that you are the closest contact. Remember the analogy; you bite the hand that feeds, not the brainstem that moves it.. or something:uhoh3:

My favorite thing to do is go to the bathroom, or the employee break room, and work up the best impression you can of the person. For some reason, seeing it yourself makes it really funny, and it's outright hilarious if they have a funny voice. Bonus points if someone else walks in, you say "ok! guess who I am!" and they nail it! Just don't do this anywhere you can get caught, or around the pt themself.

I DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT HIM yata yata yata GIVE PEOPLE BACK WHAT THEY GIVE ME

You, ma'am, have either a sense of sarcastic humor worthy of Mencken himself, or absolutely no place in the caregiving business. Go get your respect, they take taxes from my check whether you're in the prison or not - might as well put the money to good use.

[BUTTERFLY63]

All Of You Have All Made Such Great Points! We Are All Trained Professionals That Have Gone To College. We Get It From All Directions. The Patients, Doctors, And Upper Management. The Hospital I Work At Has Started This Patient Satisfaction Drive.

There Is A Person That Goes To Each Patient And Finds Out What They Like And Don't Like About Their Stay And How They Are Being Cared For. So We Get Told Weekly How Well Were Doing And How Much We Suck!

Upper Management Has No Idea What We Go Thorugh In A Day And They Don't Consider The Source ( The Patient). Our Patinet Satisfaction Scores Were Actually Up And We Got

A Cake. I Wonder What Kind Of Bonus Management Got?

[newtelenurse]

When hospital admin gets PR out there so that patients expect hotel-style valet service, and all they get in reality is a tele nurse with a few too many patients and a CNA who has half a floor to toilet, wash and observe, there is very little of the pillow fluffing, behind kissing that the patient now expects. If I wanted to tend to that sort of detail, I'd have majored in hotel/restaurant management and saved myself the trouble! :trout:. That's not to say that I don't behave professionally, even if there are days that my jaw is clenched so tightly that I can't even cram a PB&J in there when I take my lunch break!!

Blee

AMEN!! While I agree that pt.s deserve to be comfortable they do need to realize they ARE IN A HOSPITAL!! I had 2 GI bleeders swirling around the drain. My other pt. who had practically had his address changed to room #_ _ screaming at me to get his da-- coffee before he reported me in the morn?!?!?! Are you freaking KIDDING ME??:angryfire

[lamazeteacher]

Abuse is sometimes a manifestation of frustration, for patients, with themselves for being ill, dependent, and vocationally stagnant, or misunderstood. If your patient grew up with many siblings, they may all have vied for mom's attention......and never got enough mor thought she was unfairly giving the others what was due them. Addicted people are frustrated that they have to put up with life's reflection of their dependence on chemicals. Shanta, you said your Spanish speaking patient didn't understand English, and you couldn't speak Spanish. How did he understand what you told him about becoming more independant? Did you have someone translate? Sometimes a knowing smile and possibly a playful wink (unless you think that would be misinterpreted), will get men off their need to draw you into their manipulativeness caused by sibling rivalry, by putting you in an undignified position.

By the way, how did that patient know you washed his neighbor's genitals? Wasn't the curtain closed? Or do they both speak Spanish, and shared that information?

It's important that patients realize that they each have a different plan of care. The neighboring patient had a cast, the other difficult one didn't.......Try to remember this, : "Usted no ay esto (holding or pointing to the cast on the other patient)? Si usted ay esto, yo lavar mas por usted...... Usted ay medicinos differente, yo no dar medicinos por usted, a otro personas........"

Basically, I said, "He has a cast, you don't. If you had one, I'd wash more" (smiling all the while, understandingly). "You have medicine that is different than his, I don't give your medicine to others". They get it! And Spanish speakers really appreciate your effort to communicate using their language - no matter how poorly (unless they're French).

Sometimes Nurses are seen as service providers, like waiters, and if one table gets glasses of water (at their request), and another isn't served water, they get angry. The complainers are usually petulant children, and need to be coddled out of it, then treated as adults with respect. Once they see that you're trying, they'll slowly become more positive. However, if a family sees you at the nursing station talking and joking with other staff members, they will get the message that you don't care about their family member and tell them how you're joking around instead of giving them attention.

I've been a patient in hospital many times, and really resented anyone more healthy near me. Hurting alone is miserable. While that's not an excuse to be rude to others, it will bring criticism.

Usually I'm friendly with Nursing Staff, but when a sweet student Nurse came into my room the morning after my first mastectomy and said "I'm a student, and I'm going to give you MY first bedbath", I practically yelled, "Get out of here, and only come back to give me pain medication. I'll move and deep breathe without you", which was most uncharacteristic of me. As you can see, I love teaching.

And shame! Emmanuel. While martyrdom isn't to be encouraged, being caring and helpful isn't necessarily long suffering. You might want to get away from bedside nursing for a while, and do research, Home Health, anything that gets your ego up. As a former Nursing Instructor, I impressed students with their role as supporters, not criticizers. You and your patients would benefit from the relief. Martyrs are people who are self abusive, and if Nursing feels like self abuse, give it a rest! No one needs to suffer at others' wills, and when we interpret normal patient reactions as abuse, it doesn't do anyone any good. Reflect, reevaluate, and if possible recreate your wish to be a Nurse.