Patients Treat Nurses Like Garbage! - page 6

I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak... Read More

  1. by   gina gina
    I HAVE A HOMECARE PATIENT NOW THAT TRIES TO START SUMTHIN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WITH ME.HE RECENTLY WANTED ME TO BRING HIS FAT ***, THANKSGIVING DINNER.I MADE UP EVERY EXCUSE NOT TO. I TREAT HIM LIKE A DOLLAR SIGN BECUZ THAT IS ALL HE MEANS TO ME.I FEED HIM WITH A LONG HANDLE SPOON.HE HAS A NASTY ATTITUDE TOWARDS EVERYBODY.I DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT HIM.I TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY TREAT ME NOW.I USE TO BE PASSIVE AND TURN THE OTHER CHEEK BUT I'D ONLY END UP FEELING MISERABLE AND RAN OVER AND USED.NOW THAT I SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF AND GIVE PEOPLE BACK WHAT THEY GIVE ME,LIFE IS 100% BETTER NOW!!!
  2. by   EmmaG
    Wow. I wanted to respond to that, but I'm speechless.
  3. by   MAISY, RN-ER
    Quote from Emmanuel Goldstein
    Wow. I wanted to respond to that, but I'm speechless.
    DITTO!

    Maisy:uhoh21:
  4. by   callmekipling
    I've worked with lots of different people (yes, i'm talking 'demographics') as coworkers, pts and family members. I think a lot of youth culture today places a lot of weight on 'getting your respect'. Turning the other cheek, for instance, is a biblical admonition not to beat the tar out of somebody simply for besmirching your good name.

    People *are* in pain, they're narc'd out, upset, alone, their routine is disrupted. They're placed in an environment that's unfamiliar, friends and loved ones may only have a few minutes to stop in, and on top of all that, it must be really boring to sit on your duff for four days postop (or whatever the circumstances may be). Most importantly, they don't get social calls - any professional visits they get will most likely be "what can I do for you" or "this is what I'm supposed to do for you" - so they may well get used to making requests/demands.


    So I try to give any pt the benefit of the doubt, and consider it may well be my pride that's casting their manner in an uncomplimentary light.

    That said, some people are a__hats no matter what you do. I learned, not from nursing but from previous employment in fast food, that more often than not you're not even yourself in the customer/pt's eyes.. you're a representation of the company. You want a double cheeseburger and it comes out with half a tiny sliver of pickle, do you write a quick and polite note to the sandwich guy and CC it to the head of employee education? Heck no! You address the kid at the counter and charge HIM with fixing it. The comparison's not perfect because in fast food you really are the go-to guy, but the point remains that you are the closest contact. Remember the analogy; you bite the hand that feeds, not the brainstem that moves it.. or something

    My favorite thing to do is go to the bathroom, or the employee break room, and work up the best impression you can of the person. For some reason, seeing it yourself makes it really funny, and it's outright hilarious if they have a funny voice. Bonus points if someone else walks in, you say "ok! guess who I am!" and they nail it! Just don't do this anywhere you can get caught, or around the pt themself.

    I DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT HIM yata yata yata GIVE PEOPLE BACK WHAT THEY GIVE ME
    You, ma'am, have either a sense of sarcastic humor worthy of Mencken himself, or absolutely no place in the caregiving business. Go get your respect, they take taxes from my check whether you're in the prison or not - might as well put the money to good use.
  5. by   BUTTERFLY63
    All Of You Have All Made Such Great Points! We Are All Trained Professionals That Have Gone To College. We Get It From All Directions. The Patients, Doctors, And Upper Management. The Hospital I Work At Has Started This Patient Satisfaction Drive.

    There Is A Person That Goes To Each Patient And Finds Out What They Like And Don't Like About Their Stay And How They Are Being Cared For. So We Get Told Weekly How Well Were Doing And How Much We Suck!

    Upper Management Has No Idea What We Go Thorugh In A Day And They Don't Consider The Source ( The Patient). Our Patinet Satisfaction Scores Were Actually Up And We Got
    A Cake. I Wonder What Kind Of Bonus Management Got?
    Last edit by BUTTERFLY63 on Nov 25, '07 : Reason: errors
  6. by   newtelenurse
    Quote from Blee O'Myacin
    When hospital admin gets PR out there so that patients expect hotel-style valet service, and all they get in reality is a tele nurse with a few too many patients and a CNA who has half a floor to toilet, wash and observe, there is very little of the pillow fluffing, behind kissing that the patient now expects. If I wanted to tend to that sort of detail, I'd have majored in hotel/restaurant management and saved myself the trouble! :trout:. That's not to say that I don't behave professionally, even if there are days that my jaw is clenched so tightly that I can't even cram a PB&J in there when I take my lunch break!!

    Blee
    AMEN!! While I agree that pt.s deserve to be comfortable they do need to realize they ARE IN A HOSPITAL!! I had 2 GI bleeders swirling around the drain. My other pt. who had practically had his address changed to room #_ _ screaming at me to get his da-- coffee before he reported me in the morn?!?!?! Are you freaking KIDDING ME??:angryfire
  7. by   lamazeteacher
    Abuse is sometimes a manifestation of frustration, for patients, with themselves for being ill, dependent, and vocationally stagnant, or misunderstood. If your patient grew up with many siblings, they may all have vied for mom's attention......and never got enough mor thought she was unfairly giving the others what was due them. Addicted people are frustrated that they have to put up with life's reflection of their dependence on chemicals. Shanta, you said your Spanish speaking patient didn't understand English, and you couldn't speak Spanish. How did he understand what you told him about becoming more independant? Did you have someone translate? Sometimes a knowing smile and possibly a playful wink (unless you think that would be misinterpreted), will get men off their need to draw you into their manipulativeness caused by sibling rivalry, by putting you in an undignified position.

    By the way, how did that patient know you washed his neighbor's genitals? Wasn't the curtain closed? Or do they both speak Spanish, and shared that information?

    It's important that patients realize that they each have a different plan of care. The neighboring patient had a cast, the other difficult one didn't.......Try to remember this, : "Usted no ay esto (holding or pointing to the cast on the other patient)? Si usted ay esto, yo lavar mas por usted...... Usted ay medicinos differente, yo no dar medicinos por usted, a otro personas........"

    Basically, I said, "He has a cast, you don't. If you had one, I'd wash more" (smiling all the while, understandingly). "You have medicine that is different than his, I don't give your medicine to others". They get it! And Spanish speakers really appreciate your effort to communicate using their language - no matter how poorly (unless they're French).

    Sometimes Nurses are seen as service providers, like waiters, and if one table gets glasses of water (at their request), and another isn't served water, they get angry. The complainers are usually petulant children, and need to be coddled out of it, then treated as adults with respect. Once they see that you're trying, they'll slowly become more positive. However, if a family sees you at the nursing station talking and joking with other staff members, they will get the message that you don't care about their family member and tell them how you're joking around instead of giving them attention.

    I've been a patient in hospital many times, and really resented anyone more healthy near me. Hurting alone is miserable. While that's not an excuse to be rude to others, it will bring criticism.

    Usually I'm friendly with Nursing Staff, but when a sweet student Nurse came into my room the morning after my first mastectomy and said "I'm a student, and I'm going to give you MY first bedbath", I practically yelled, "Get out of here, and only come back to give me pain medication. I'll move and deep breathe without you", which was most uncharacteristic of me. As you can see, I love teaching.

    And shame! Emmanuel. While martyrdom isn't to be encouraged, being caring and helpful isn't necessarily long suffering. You might want to get away from bedside nursing for a while, and do research, Home Health, anything that gets your ego up. As a former Nursing Instructor, I impressed students with their role as supporters, not criticizers. You and your patients would benefit from the relief. Martyrs are people who are self abusive, and if Nursing feels like self abuse, give it a rest! No one needs to suffer at others' wills, and when we interpret normal patient reactions as abuse, it doesn't do anyone any good. Reflect, reevaluate, and if possible recreate your wish to be a Nurse.
  8. by   scooterRN52
    Quote from lisa41rn
    I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak rudely to patients and my thought has always been that the patients pay a fortune for their care and deserve a caring, nice and knowledgeable nurse. I'm starting to think otherwise and see why so many nurses speak up to the patients. In the past, I've nearly always taken a difficult patient and could bring out the best in them. My recent patients are just so rude. I'm the first to have the common sense to realize their illnesses are often new and anxiety can bring out the worst in people. Regardless, it doesn't give them the right to treat those caring for them the most, like garbage. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work and really wonder if I want to go to work, a job I once loved, to be treated terribly. I know many nurses I work with, who are honest, admit they would love to leave and do something different, but often don't have any other options but to be a nurse. How do you all deal with your rude patients??
    I work in a cancer center and the pt.'s don't really complain thank-goodness!!!!
    Cancer pt.s are usually thankful.:spin:
  9. by   Labor Nurse
    [quote=BUTTERFLY63;2514040]All Of You Have All Made Such Great Points! We Are All Trained Professionals That Have Gone To College. We Get It From All Directions. The Patients, Doctors, And Upper Management. The Hospital I Work At Has Started This Patient Satisfaction Drive.

    There Is A Person That Goes To Each Patient And Finds Out What They Like And Don't Like About Their Stay And How They Are Being Cared For. So We Get Told Weekly How Well Were Doing And How Much We Suck!

    Upper Management Has No Idea What We Go Thorugh In A Day And They Don't Consider The Source ( The Patient). Our Patinet Satisfaction Scores Were Actually Up And We Got
    A Cake. I Wonder What Kind Of Bonus Management Got?[/quote


    A cake, a cake. So typical! When our unit was overflowing, no beds at all and no extra nurses available. Our DON actually suggested that we put a labor patients into each of 2 of our 3 ORs. I suggested that we consult with infection control before we did this and then reminded her that we had no fetal monitoring in the OR. She suggested portable monitors and I responded with find me some because I don't have a clue. When I asked if we could move some of the patients up to antepartum she said no, only one nurse on antepartum. As charge I already knew that. Our satisfaction scores: 99%. We got cold sandwiches. You know, my question about management bonus was the same as yours. I love my job but really, the MDs treat us with more respect than management.:angryfire
  10. by   kathmandu49
    Why do you think patients are so rude? Is it just that people in general are rude in stressful situations? Or is it because the general public just doesn't understand what nurses do and how important they are to the quality of care patients receive from them? It seems like there needs to be some patient education so they have more appropriate expectations. This seems especially important since managment seems to be reacting to the patient's limited perspective. And since patient perspective is clearly skewed then managements response would be off base, too. Right?
  11. by   scooterRN52
    [QUOTE=Labor Nurse;2514782]
    Quote from BUTTERFLY63
    All Of You Have All Made Such Great Points! We Are All Trained Professionals That Have Gone To College. We Get It From All Directions. The Patients, Doctors, And Upper Management. The Hospital I Work At Has Started This Patient Satisfaction Drive.

    There Is A Person That Goes To Each Patient And Finds Out What They Like And Don't Like About Their Stay And How They Are Being Cared For. So We Get Told Weekly How Well Were Doing And How Much We Suck!

    Upper Management Has No Idea What We Go Thorugh In A Day And They Don't Consider The Source ( The Patient). Our Patinet Satisfaction Scores Were Actually Up And We Got
    A Cake. I Wonder What Kind Of Bonus Management Got?[/quote


    A cake, a cake. So typical! When our unit was overflowing, no beds at all and no extra nurses available. Our DON actually suggested that we put a labor patients into each of 2 of our 3 ORs. I suggested that we consult with infection control before we did this and then reminded her that we had no fetal monitoring in the OR. She suggested portable monitors and I responded with find me some because I don't have a clue. When I asked if we could move some of the patients up to antepartum she said no, only one nurse on antepartum. As charge I already knew that. Our satisfaction scores: 99%. We got cold sandwiches. You know, my question about management bonus was the same as yours. I love my job but really, the MDs treat us with more respect than management.:angryfire
    We have monthly scores on satisfaction of pt's. I am really fed up about it! Is this a profession or are we sales people? Everything seems to be all about customer
    service, now the public is trying to tell us how to do our job. Nursing &Medicine has turned into a business instead of a profession.
  12. by   scooterRN52
    Quote from newtelenurse
    AMEN!! While I agree that pt.s deserve to be comfortable they do need to realize they ARE IN A HOSPITAL!! I had 2 GI bleeders swirling around the drain. My other pt. who had practically had his address changed to room #_ _ screaming at me to get his da-- coffee before he reported me in the morn?!?!?! Are you freaking KIDDING ME??:angryfire
    It seems like it is all about keeping the pt's happy, it wasn't like this 10or15 years ago. I think pt's should be comfortable, but this is a hospital not a hotel! I agreewith you.
  13. by   lamazeteacher
    Quote from gina gina
    I HAVE A HOMECARE PATIENT NOW THAT TRIES TO START SUMTHIN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WITH ME.HE RECENTLY WANTED ME TO BRING HIS FAT ***, THANKSGIVING DINNER.I MADE UP EVERY EXCUSE NOT TO. I TREAT HIM LIKE A DOLLAR SIGN BECUZ THAT IS ALL HE MEANS TO ME.I FEED HIM WITH A LONG HANDLE SPOON.HE HAS A NASTY ATTITUDE TOWARDS EVERYBODY.I DON'T GIVE A>>> ABOUT HIM.I TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY TREAT ME NOW.I USE TO BE PASSIVE AND TURN THE OTHER CHEEK BUT I'D ONLY END UP FEELING MISERABLE AND RAN OVER AND USED.NOW THAT I SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF AND GIVE PEOPLE BACK WHAT THEY GIVE ME,LIFE IS 100% BETTER NOW!!!
    It made me very sad to read your post. I've practised Nursing for 47 years, and never thought of patients as you do, with the invectives you use! Shame! Get some other type of work, please, and you'll be even happier. Certainly the patients you might have will be happier. We tend to get what we dish out.............

    Since you work away from supervisorial eyes, you have gotten away with more (and probably stood for more) than anyone knows. I shudder to think of patients alone at home, subjected to your wrath! If you feel better, having vented your anger on patients, then you need counselling. Please get it, for your sake as well as others.:uhoh21::uhoh21:

close