Out With It - page 3

I sat there in library working on one of my many papers and projects that I had due. I was exhausted--exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally; I was done with it. Suddenly, a thought came to my... Read More

  1. Visit  jadelpn profile page
    2
    Thank you for sharing this story. It takes strength of character to lay your soul out for all to see. Very profound.
    brandy1017 and BCgradnurse like this.
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  3. Visit  multi10 profile page
    0
    My husband-to-be (with Borderline Personality Disorder) always denied there was anything wrong with him. After all, he was a partner in a successful law firm. According to him, I was the "crazy" one.

    During the litigation, it surfaced that he had been diagnosed years before, and had been prescribed medications over the years, Inderal being one. His psychiatrist had tried different approaches other than meds as well, referring him to experienced and highly respected (published) psychotherapists.

    I began to respect and study psychiatry because of this very situation that I had lived with and was still living with (due to the seemingly endless litigation). The psychiatrist tried everything and was truly engaged in and committed to leading my fiance to health.

    My fiance was non-compliant with Rx meds after a few days, attended one or two psychotherapy sessions, then quit, deeming himself "fine".

    During the interim of my knowing something was very wrong during the time we were living together, and after I left and had to sue him, I read everything I could about people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I had access to scientific journals.

    The sad thing is that his failure to help himself led to his ruin.
  4. Visit  pinkiepieRN profile page
    2
    Quote from multi10
    My husband-to-be (with Borderline Personality Disorder) always denied there was anything wrong with him. After all, he was a partner in a successful law firm. According to him, I was the "crazy" one.

    During the litigation, it surfaced that he had been diagnosed years before, and had been prescribed medications over the years, Inderal being one. His psychiatrist had tried different approaches other than meds as well, referring him to experienced and highly respected (published) psychotherapists.

    I began to respect and study psychiatry because of this very situation that I had lived with and was still living with (due to the seemingly endless litigation). The psychiatrist tried everything and was truly engaged in and committed to leading my fiance to health.

    My fiance was non-compliant with Rx meds after a few days, attended one or two psychotherapy sessions, then quit, deeming himself "fine".

    During the interim of my knowing something was very wrong during the time we were living together, and after I left and had to sue him, I read everything I could about people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I had access to scientific journals.

    The sad thing is that his failure to help himself led to his ruin.
    Non-compliance with treatment is not limited to mental illness, and you should know that as a nurse. While we all might groan at the patient who comes in with blood sugars consistently in the 3-400s, it is still most appropriate to provide education and treat the symptoms, rather than judge the patient for having the disease in the first place. There are preventable risk factors but that's neither here or now. We can't change the past but we must advocate for future changes and provide patients with the resources to make the best decisions they can.
    BCgradnurse and multi10 like this.
  5. Visit  multi10 profile page
    0
    So true, but it was hard to provide education to him when he had his hands around my neck.
  6. Visit  multi10 profile page
    0
    I advocated for his future change by getting a great lawyer, suing him, and exposing his pathology. One person at a time.
  7. Visit  pinkiepieRN profile page
    1
    Quote from multi10
    So true, but it was hard to provide education to him when he had his hands around my neck.
    I can only imagine how scary that was for you and what he did was not right, mentally ill or not. I certainly wouldn't say it was your sole responsibility to educate him nor was it your fault that he behaved as he did. I just don't think he's an exemplar of someone with borderline personality disorder, and certainly not someone who is treatment compliant.
    multi10 likes this.
  8. Visit  multi10 profile page
    0
    dolcebellaluna

    It was beyond scary. I thought I was going to die as he was strangling me. He used "excessive efforts to avoid abandonment".

    The OP didn't live inside the home of the object of her desire, the one she stalked. Unfortunately for me, I lived with, and was engaged to, the BPD, the stalker, the one who said, "If you leave me, you'll never be anything but a dog catcher in this town." (He was a well-connected person, or so he thought. He isn't anymore.)

    To which I replied, "I'd rather be a dog catcher than live under the same roof with you. At least I'll only be bitten and abused by dogs."

    So I know he was a borderline and a batterer.

    Do you want to know how I got him off of me when he was trying to strangle me? Simple.
  9. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
    1
    Again, multi, I am sorry for your experience. However, I do not feel it is right to judge a whole disorder by one person. I am really confused about what you are posting--in one post you said he was diagnosed BPD (that's cool if he was legit diagnosed BPD) and in two others, you said you just knew he had BPD. I do not like the arm chair psychiatry stuff--that is what gave BPD a terrible name to begin with. Randi Kreger (Walking On Eggshells book) comes to mind. She makes a living off of bashing people with BPD and NPD and has zero healthcare credentials to her name. She refers to herself as an expert on BPD, yet the only thing she goes by is her experience with her mother, who must have BPD, I guess. She has done so much damage to people with BPD, it is unbelievable.

    When I was looking online for support and information; all I found were stories like yours. Most of these people were playing arm chair psychiatrist--they looked online at the diagnosing criteria for BPD and said 'oh, that sounds like so and so. I know what's wrong with them now." Then, they proceed to post nasty things about people with BPD, without even knowing whether the person that is their experience with BPD legitimately has BPD. They even said that the person was not legitimately diagnosed, they just fit the description. I have a legit diagnosis of BPD.

    multi, this article thread took a turn for the worst somewhere; I am sorry for your experience, however, I do not want this to be closed because of all of this. So, please move on...you are away from him now.
    pinkiepieRN likes this.
  10. Visit  brandy1017 profile page
    0
    He was an abuser, a violent man I don't think it was because of BPD rather because he wanted to control you and was a sociopath with a conduct disorder. I don't think blaming it on BPD is the true cause of his behavior. From what I know about BPD it sounds more like an abnormal maladaptive coping behavior many times brought about by childhood abuse or trauma and probably has more in common with PTSD than being a stalker or sociopath!
  11. Visit  multi10 profile page
    0
    I don't want this thread to be closed either. Information is important. Information is power.

    There is an official diagnosis ("Officially", by a psychiatrist) of a person diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

    I am not "playing arm chair psychiatrist", OP. I made it clear that my stalker/batterer was diagnosed, officially, by his psychiatrist of many years, as a Borderline.

    I'm not moving on anywhere. I'm a nurse and this is an AN site.
  12. Visit  multi10 profile page
    0
    brandy1017,

    You had an abuser too? Are you talking about your situation?
  13. Visit  Liddle Noodnik profile page
    1
    Quote from multi10
    I don't want this thread to be closed either. Information is important. Information is power.

    There is an official diagnosis ("Officially", by a psychiatrist) of a person diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

    I am not "playing arm chair psychiatrist", OP. I made it clear that my stalker/batterer was diagnosed, officially, by his psychiatrist of many years, as a Borderline.

    I'm not moving on anywhere. I'm a nurse and this is an AN site.
    With all due respect it sounds like multiple diagnoses, not just BPD. I am sorry for all you had to go through. Sounds like you were lucky to get out alive
    pinkiepieRN likes this.
  14. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
    0
    multi, look, please stop. I said move on as in move on with your life. I am not looking for an argument. This article was about my experience with dealing with my own BPD and how I still went on to get my nursing license.

    If I am understanding correctly, your experience took place many years ago--I am sorry you were abused, but I think that is better dealt with by professionals who know you personally.


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