Oddest things found in a patient!

[Antikigirl]

So it was kinda a wacky fun day at the med surge area yesterday...and there was this article in our newspaper about a man who put in like 12 long nails by nail gun in his head...then later on (like weeks) came into an ER with complaints of constant head ache. Go figure that ER got a great x-ray! LOL!

So we were talking to the docs around the nurses desk and they were being kinda silly and brining up the oddest things they have seen in patients...and it was amazing and funny!!!!!

One doc said during his ER rotation a man was very drunk and his buddies bet he couldn't put a big old Japanese Glass float (the green glass orbs you can find at the beach) up his rectum. Now this wasn't the small ones..this was one that was three times that size...a little smaller than a bowling ball! Guess it took him 4 hours and he did it! Well...okay now how does one remove that once it is stuck in the pelvis??? UHGGGGGG.

SO it took a team of 5 docs to think about it...and it was decided after many different ideas...the float must be broken up and removed very carefully. It was done with little damage to the area! Good job docs!

Then that same doc asked us nurses "what is the most popular item found up a rectum"...we guessed some items and we were all wrong...He told us it was shot glasses!?!?!? He said that even this hospital has a protocol for the removal! OMGosh!!!! Guess they use plaster to fill the glass, insert a long probe into the plaster..wait for it to solidify..and lube, patience, and lots of pain meds it can be pulled out!

Another doc talked about a man who ate poker chips and was all filled up and blocked, and was wondering why he had such bad constipation! That was a good surgery there!

What interesting items have you heard of...and how did they remove them?????? LOL!

[LoriAlabamaRN]

That's right out of "Appalachian ER" on Saturday Night Live. Every week he comes in with something else that "accidentally" got stuck up there.

"I was at home practicing Karate naked. I was doing the splits and there was a Stretch Armstrong on the floor and when I did the splits, well.."

Then when he came out of the exam room he had a jar of cotton balls that "accidentally" got stuck in there.

Obviously whoever wrote this sketch knows an ER nurse.

I love that sketch! "And wouldn't ya know it, I fell brown eye down on it..."

[kelbelrn]

I have personally seen:

1) A baseball in a lady parts (had to be removed in O.R.) and of course, she had NO idea how it got there

2) 14 inch pink, rose scented taper candle in a rectum-- he had his boyfriend fill out his paperwork (all of his information was in his Marine Corps wallet and binder) while called his wife and son to "let them know" he was having "hemorroid" problems and was going to need surgery (to remove the taper candle) and could they come and pick him up - what was a mystery to me is why his wife had no idea and never asked any questions- and the boyfriend disappeared as soon as he left for O.R.

3) A "Barbie" bat (little pink toy bat) in a 3 year-old's lady parts-- THAT took forever to get out-- we managed to rig a suction catheter to get it out.

4) A toy G.I. Joe "gun" in a nostril (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy up there)

5) A very large cucumber broken off in a lady parts-- but the lady was about 8 months pregnant-- so that ended up going to OR-- we couldn't get ahold of it to get it out because pieces of it kept breaking off.

6) a bottle rocket in an eye socket-- (shattered the orb, very bad injury)

7) A quarter lodged sideways in the airway of a 2 year old (he could breath fine if he was sitting upright in his mother's lap, but Mom was worried because he started wheezing every time he would lie down) Yep, that one went to OR too.

8) One of the "mini" vibrators in a rectum-- poor g=uy was humiliated-- he and his wife were having a little "fun" and she let go of it-- it was still on, and it took a very long time to get out because he was adamant he was NOT going to OR to have THAT removed-- he probably used proctofoam for a while after that incident-- ever heard the phrase "get a rope" ??? This would have been a good time to follow that advice;

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i couldn't find my little old lady's dentures at suppertime. i knew she'd had them at breakfast and lunch, and i hadn't removed them . . . .

they weren't in her bed, and her husband had no idea where they were.

about 3 am, she pulled the dentures out of her lady parts. aghast, i asked her if she had anything else up there.

cackling madly, she pulled out two packages of saltines and half a banana -- stored with her dentures "in case i get hungry later."

had another lol who stored her glass eye up there because she was afraid someone would try to steal it while she was sleeping. another old guy stored his in his rectum . . . same reason. (now why is everyone so concerned that someone might steal their glass eye?????)

[CatLVNRN]

This is close, but is funnnny.

LTC nurse, I had a demintia pt come up to me and insist I go and see what was in her bathroom, in the toilet. (I am thiinking hairbrush fell in or something like that) well, I get to the toilet, and there is a LONG AND WIDE piece of $@#!. It was so big, and I could not help myself, I laughed so hard that my DON had to come in and make sure I was ok. I told her what happened, and she saw it and laughed so hard she peed her pants. --No Joke. and the whole time we are laughing, Ms. Jones is saying "where did that come from what is it, Why is it there?" It was soooo funny.

:beer: Did we work together?! I had a resident that had similar bowel habits with a similar reaction to them. She'd come wheeling herself out of her room asking WHO LEFT THAT THERE. :roll

[weirdRN, RN]

:beer: Did we work together?! I had a resident that had similar bowel habits with a similar reaction to them. She'd come wheeling herself out of her room asking WHO LEFT THAT THERE. :roll

:roll :roll :roll

I heard from a nursing supervisor yesterday that there was a man who came to the Er claiming that he was painting naked and he fell onto a lamp, and the light bulb went right up his rectum. With out breaking. The bulb was removed with a speculum (sp) and vasaline!

:roll :roll :roll

[Diamond Nurse]

We were just talking about this at work....

One of our Surgeons told us he had a patient show up in ER c/o unable to move his bowels. Upon further exam a SOFTBALL was found in his rectum, it was so far in that he couldn't pass it, because of the size and roundness the doc's couldn't get a grip on it so they bored a hole in it and and screwed in what he refered to as a "corkscrew" to remove it. They then did a colonoscopy to check for necrosis and found an empty "Lenders Bagel" bag, apparently the ball was in this as an aid to removal, obviously the bag failed !!

[jen42]

I was working in a teenage psych home... a girl told me her ear hurt. As I approached it with the otoscope, this blue glow began emanating from her ear canal... all I could think was, "aliens?" No, she'd stuck a shard of blue glass in her ear that was reflecting the light. The doc told me to remove it if it came out easily- it did. There were two pieces of clear glass behind it. She had to have surgery.

I wish I could say she was the only one there who did this..

[icucharge]

I took care of an elderly lady who did not trust banks and kept her life savings of $4000 rolled up in her lady parts.

[getjock]

THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!! I laughed so hard I was afraid I'd wake up my family.

Have a great day.

[TraumaLPN]

This was not found in a pt. but on a pt. A very obese woman can to our Ed and while the Doc was doing his assessment he found half of a ham sandwich stuck inside one of her abdominal folds. The pt. said, "Oh thats where it was!"

[Jussurfin]

I took care of an elderly lady who did not trust banks and kept her life savings of $4000 rolled up in her lady parts.

Is this the origin of the term 'lady partsl vault?'

[texas_lvn]

This was not found in a pt. but on a pt. A very obese woman can to our Ed and while the Doc was doing his assessment he found half of a ham sandwich stuck inside one of her abdominal folds. The pt. said, "Oh thats where it was!"

EWWWW. Like 300 lbs or like 700 lbs?