Oddest things found in a patient!

Nurses General Nursing

Published

So it was kinda a wacky fun day at the med surge area yesterday...and there was this article in our newspaper about a man who put in like 12 long nails by nail gun in his head...then later on (like weeks) came into an ER with complaints of constant head ache. Go figure that ER got a great x-ray! LOL!

So we were talking to the docs around the nurses desk and they were being kinda silly and brining up the oddest things they have seen in patients...and it was amazing and funny!!!!!

One doc said during his ER rotation a man was very drunk and his buddies bet he couldn't put a big old Japanese Glass float (the green glass orbs you can find at the beach) up his rectum. Now this wasn't the small ones..this was one that was three times that size...a little smaller than a bowling ball! Guess it took him 4 hours and he did it! Well...okay now how does one remove that once it is stuck in the pelvis??? UHGGGGGG.

SO it took a team of 5 docs to think about it...and it was decided after many different ideas...the float must be broken up and removed very carefully. It was done with little damage to the area! Good job docs!

Then that same doc asked us nurses "what is the most popular item found up a rectum"...we guessed some items and we were all wrong...He told us it was shot glasses!?!?!? He said that even this hospital has a protocol for the removal! OMGosh!!!! Guess they use plaster to fill the glass, insert a long probe into the plaster..wait for it to solidify..and lube, patience, and lots of pain meds it can be pulled out!

Another doc talked about a man who ate poker chips and was all filled up and blocked, and was wondering why he had such bad constipation! That was a good surgery there!

What interesting items have you heard of...and how did they remove them?????? LOL!

Texas LVN, She closer to 700 lbs.

:lol2:

I took care of an elderly lady who did not trust banks and kept her life savings of $4000 rolled up in her lady parts.

Also sounds like "a human purse."

Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.
Texas LVN, She closer to 700 lbs.

That is crazy!!!

:roll Wow these are really hilarious

Specializes in ER, Trauma.

How about a large baking potato from a womans lady parts? Worse thing was the doc was gigling for months about "tater twats."

Or, a car radio antenae in a mans member? The entire length of it! His girlfriend came in with him. Apparently it was some kind of foreplay.

One doctor told of shining the light through an anascope and there was a flashlight shining back at him.

Too many years in the ER I guess. I don't even react anymore when the patient tells me "I've no idea how that got in there!" Yeah, right.

Or, a car radio antenae in a mans member? The entire length of it! His girlfriend came in with him. Apparently it was some kind of foreplay.

We had a guy one time with lead poisoning because he stuck a pencil up his because he couldn't pee....yeah, stick a pencil in there buddy, don't pick anything hollow like a straw...a pencil might help!!!

JS

Lead poisoning? From a pencil?

Thought pencil "lead" was really graphite. . . .

Is this even possible? :D

Specializes in Geriatrics.

We had an elderly patient once that started to get this "funk" about her. Seemed like no matter how often you cleaned her the stink got worse. Turns out she shoved a potato up her lady parts and it had been there for awhile!!

I've seen carrots in lady partss, one elderly man had a constant desire to stick pencils and straws in his member.

I was assisting to admit an elderly woman to a LTC facility I worked in and when I took her stockings off there were maggots all in between her toes. (and NO, these weren't the sterile kind that are used for infections sometimes!!)

This is really gross and disturbing. This young man didn't have anything stuck anywhere, but an 18 year old was admitted through the ER after cutting his testicles off and flushing them down the toilet!!! He then proceeded to stitch himself up but realized he couldn't do it. He almost bled to death!! I never did hear WHY he did that!!??!!??

Lead poisoning? From a pencil?

Thought pencil "lead" was really graphite. . . .

Is this even possible? :D

I didn't ask!!!!! All I know is that that was his official diagnosis!! It was quite a few years ago, so it wasn't recently.

JS

This is the most horrifying thing I had seen in a looooong time (and I swear that I'm not making it up, either)- A patient was admitted to the ER bleeding rectally profusely- what had happened is that he had stuck a hamster in a condom up his orifice to elicit pleasurable feelings?????- well, the hamster started having oxygen deficit issues and yep, you guessed it, started biting through the condom in a desperate attempt to get a lung full of air.....i think you can imagine the rest???????

OH NO!:lol2:

Specializes in tele, stepdown/PCU, med/surg.

I remember a rumor years ago about Richard Gere sticking a hamster into his rectum. I guess that rumor died out along with the hamster.

Specializes in ER.

a doctor at our ER told me a story about a very obese woman who came to the ER for multiple complaints and upon changing her and assessing her, her tv remote control came out from under one of her rolls of fat. the pts response was "I have been looking for that for weeks!!!" apparently she had not washed in a while.................

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