Nurses with families...how do you manage??

Trauma Columnist · Apr 11, 2011

I worked night for 15 yrs while my kids were at home. I worked 3 12's. Yes I was tired a lot. However my husband is ver very supportive and we shared many of the child related duties in addition to all the other household duties.

joanna73, BSN, RN · Apr 11, 2011

Having a supportive partner would definitely be very important. I was so tired from my week today that I slept for 10 straight hours. Then I thought...Wow. If I had kids...the whole day is almost gone.

BrookeeLou_RN · Apr 11, 2011

I have found looking back on when I worked fulltime and was a single mom..I do not remember really how I did it.. Kids were self-sufficient at early age. I did not get enough sleep. I was grouchy alot.

I think with a supportive SO, and/or family it could be done much better. Sometimes I find you just survive and do things and get by.. if you think about it.. you will never voluntarily do it.

Bobbkat · Apr 11, 2011

I have a wonderful husband, a 3 year old, and am 8 months pregnant with another. When I work nights I get about four hours of sleep if I am off the following night. I wake up around 12-1, get on with my day and am just tired the rest of the day. If I am working the next night I sleep until 4-430, get up and get ready for dinner and work again. I'm awful at sleeping during the day, to tell the truth, so I just walk around tired a lot.

RNMom2010 · Apr 11, 2011

Having the two full time incomes help a lot. I think it would be SO much harder as a single mom. Also, I took a position that is M-F 8-4. My husband works 12's on a 322 schedule and he leaves the house at 4am and doesn't get home until 6pm. So for us, hospital shifts were just not very feasible for us, nor were any shifts other than 1st. I refused to give up the time with my family to work. It's nice to have a normal business week, and have the weekends to spend with my son.

loriangel14, RN · Apr 11, 2011

Yep you are just tired a lot. Mine are in their teens now so they can look after themselves but they learned to be self sufficient early.I was single mom when I went back to school at 38.Worked 7 days a week and went to night school. You just cope as best you can.

joanna73, BSN, RN · Apr 11, 2011

Kudos to all you Moms :) You are admired. I find it enough work to manage my own life sometimes, let alone a child's. However, I suppose if I had to, I would. My mother raised me by herself, and then I was on my own at a young age. As a result, I decided early on not to have children unless I had a good partner.

Sl1011 · Apr 11, 2011

What job do you have that's 8-4? Just curious :)

Having the two full time incomes help a lot. I think it would be SO much harder as a single mom. Also, I took a position that is M-F 8-4. My husband works 12's on a 322 schedule and he leaves the house at 4am and doesn't get home until 6pm. So for us, hospital shifts were just not very feasible for us, nor were any shifts other than 1st. I refused to give up the time with my family to work. It's nice to have a normal business week, and have the weekends to spend with my son.

StrwbryblndRN · Apr 11, 2011

I find any parent is tired when kids are little. Some how many get it done.

I do not know how I did it when kids were preschool/baby and hubby worked 7 days 10 hours each while I was full time school. We had no money for babysitting either much less anything else. But we got through and we were happy. I guess attitude is key.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Apr 11, 2011

I know of one night shift worker who gets only about 4 hours of sleep per day, due to 2 young kids. Those hours are divided into 2 2hour naps and are totally insufficient in the long term. I see the effects on the job of her sleep deprivation. There is no end in sight, really, unless she gives up nursing and opens a day care in her home, perhaps, or works part-time, which they can't afford. She and her husband are always at each other's throats, she says, and she is really desperate, but can't afford to quit work or cut back, really. Her husband also works full-time.

It makes working full-time while raising kids a lot easier if you have supportive family - grandparents, for example, to help with babysitting, maybe cook a meal and do light housekeeping.

We were blessed when our kids were young, as we had my parents living with us. They were in good health, so were able to pitch in a great deal with child care, Mama cooked almost daily so that we didn't have to, Pop helped get the kids to all their sports and music, dance, etc. and kept up the building and yard, also helped run errands. My baby sister was still at home with my parents, too, and she loved to spend time with her nieces and nephews. It was an apartment building, we had our own apartment, my parents and sis had theirs. Plus there were two aunties who lived in the building, too, and they often kept our kids. When they no longer could physically do it, our kids often helped them with chores and by providing them with companionship. We were all very close and were involved in each others' lives, the kids knew their extended family, and we all helped each other. That's not to say we always had sufficient sleep, but we could pretty much depend on there always being a babysitter or a helping hand for heavy lifting, etc.

A friend of mine had a similar situation. She and her husband and kids lived in one house. Next door were her parents, next to them on the other side was her brother and his family, across the street were 2 more brothers and their families.

Some might find such proximity stifling, but it is wonderful when you get along well and can help each other. I kind of miss all that. The elders have passed and our kids are grown. Now it's our turn to help with the grandkids and we love it.

You can have good neighbors and friends to fill the roles that extended family used to fill. Somehow, you just do what you have to do to survive financially and still be involved with the kids.

hoodiern · Apr 11, 2011

Yes, those 12 hour shifts are tiring but it's nice to have more days off to spend with my son. I'm divorced and it's tough! But I still do have down time to spend with friends on some weekends.