New nurses wanted.

[nurseprnRN]

I have just read a post in a Nursing Specialties forum on Staff Development that makes reference to the need to recognize and nurture new nurses because the nursing-eat-their-young attitude is so widespread. I went to respond to that but realized it might see more eyes here.

As a clarification, it is critically important to know that someone who has a bad experience is likely to tell the story 25 times, while someone with a good one is likely to tell that story only 5 times. If therefore you apply this algorithm to the posts complaining of wretched treatment at the hands of old meanies who don't remember what it is to have a dreeeeaaaammmmm and passsssssiooonnnn, then you come out with a more realistic picture.

Language is also critically important. Using words like, "It has been a chronic problem that has driven new nurses to leave nursing areas they had aspired to work in, and oftentimes caused new nurses to leave the nursing field entirely. No one knows how many talented people have been driven from the field of nursing, but it seems to be a widespread problem if all the articles and discussion in nursing forums is representative of most nursing environments" makes assumptions on facts not in evidence. "Seem(ing) to be a widespread problem" only works if you believe that "all the articles and discussion is representative of most nursing environments." (emphasis added here and below). Data, please. What's the source of that information?

There are many threads and posts on AN that describe awesome experiences and workplaces, yet this assertion of "all the articles and discussion" clearly ignores them. There is ample evidence of older nurses here and at work supporting, teaching, and mentoring younger ones, on their own time, for free, late at night when they ought to be in bed, precisely because they want to nurture new nurses. We know they are our future, and we want them to be good. At the same time, there are multiple posts from new nurses that can bitterly dishearten the seasoned thoughtful practitioner, posts that indicate low levels of preparation, high levels of neediness and entitlement, unrealistic expectations of the realities of bedside work, and inability to adapt to the labor market.

Those older, seasoned, and experienced practitioners express their dismay at these attitudes in many ways, from light-hearted banter to bitter and heartbroken rant. The resulting wails are instructive-- and demonstrative of a problem that has generally nothing whatsoever to do with young-eating. Perhaps some of those "many talented people" (in whose estimation? their own?) are "oftentimes" "driven" away by other factors than this seriously-overused and incredible (in the definition of the word, meaning, "not believable," not "rad, totally awesome, duuude") sound bite. Beware the shallow thinker who prefers sound bites to thoughtful analysis; do not be that person. We need better critical thinking in nursing. It can start here.

Those of us older and more seasoned nurses know better than to discourage all new nurses from practice. We, better than they, have a clearer vision of being in those beds rather than beside them; we, better than they, have a larger perspective on the world of nursing care. We have already been new nurses. We have already been managers. We have already taken the responsibility of being charge nurses. We have been years at bedsides. We have already seen and participated in disasters, codes, deaths, family tragedies, fights, and labor actions. We know what it takes. We know we need more of us, as we age and leave because we are not able to do it anymore.

We can be pardoned for being scared to death of those soi-disant (this means, in translation, self-described) "talented people" who are unable to (for lack of a better word) hack it at the bedside and do not understand, or try to understand, from whence we come. The perennially-aggrieved give us heartburn; we have no patience with them, we don't have time. We are scared of what will happen to us and our loved ones when the self-esteem movement leaves us with caregivers that need more validation from their patients than they have the fortitude to learn to give them.

We welcome whole-heartedly, unreservedly, new nurses who are willing to put their education in its proper place, planning and providing competent care. We love the one who doesn't come in and say, "I'm just working here for a year so I can go to ICU and then go to CRNA / NP school." We want good nurses; we are willing to help new nurses who want to work wherever there is a need even if it's not their dreeeeaammmm job, and work hard, to grow. We want to work with people who don't have such a twitchy trigger finger, ready to go off with a bang over the least perceived slight. We want colleagues who believe this: Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. (~Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Anyone who wants to be a nurse who has the strength of character to do that, we're ready for you. Are you ready for us? We are already here.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

But this perception that a large percentage of new grads are brow beaten victims and that "nurses eat their young" is just a crutch that scared new grads fall back on when the going gets tough.

It's all a matter of perspective.

There are plenty who would say that this line of thinking is just a cop out that experienced nurses fall back on to excuse their bad behavior. Which, logically speaking, does more to perpetuate the issue than does supposed perpetual victim-hood - since perpetual victim-hood is ultimately self-limiting.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality."

-John W. Gardner

^THIS. The "nurses eat their young" is more about this than anything else. Yes, there are abrupt older nurses and younger ones; yes, there are self-pitying younger nurses and older ones; yes, there are some nursing programs that leave a lot to be desired in the prep-for-reality standpoint (although I see a lot of student postings about how mean it is that they are being asked to care for 4-5 patients 9 weeks before graduation and I think, "There's a program that's trying, and look at the grief they get for it").

And there are not enough new grads who have the intestinal fortitude they need to enter a difficult field, learn what they need to know in the way they will have to learn it (whether they like that or not), and can, as my kids say, suck it up and deal when the going gets tough. There is no earthly reason why they can't do that. Blaming it on someone else is a waste of breath. Are you stronger than that?

We are waiting for you. Can you do it? We need you out here.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

Blaming it on someone else is a waste of breath.

I couldn't agree more.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

It's all a matter of perspective.

There are plenty who would say that this line of thinking is just a cop out that experienced nurses fall back on to excuse their bad behavior. Which, logically speaking, does more to perpetuate the issue than does supposed perpetual victim-hood - since perpetual victim-hood is ultimately self-limiting.

I'm not sure I understand. My whole point is that what the "nurses eat their young" crowd define as "mean" and what I define as "mean" are two different things.

Think about it, the very fact that new nurses eventually outgrow this "it's not my fault" phase kind of proves my point.

When someone in any profession struggles in the beginning, the knee-jerk reaction is to blame anyone and everyone but themselves. And when said person sees others successfully performing the job they're struggling with, this can morph into panic driven accusations. This is when statements like "I don't finish on time because I do things the right way" or "He only finishes his meds on time because he cuts corners." rear their ugly heads. I've seen many struggling new nurses imply that the only reason more experienced nurses stay on task is because we must be burnt out shortcut takers who don't care anymore. I *hate* that!

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

I'm not sure I understand. My whole point is that what the "nurses eat their young" crowd define as "mean" and what I define as "mean" are two different things.

That can't possibly be true.

I'm fairly certain that what each is describing is the exact same behavior.

The difference is not the behavior, or the definition of it, but the perspective.

When hearing the perspective on either side of the debate, I try to take into account the natural human inclination to ego defend. The first instinct of a person accused of behaving badly is to deny. If denial proves ineffective because the exact behavior is described and it is generally agreed upon that it can be considered bad behavior from an outside perspective then the second instinct is to blame someone else - abdicate responsibility.

I know well enough that in MOST ALL phenomena, responsibility is shared between parties and that no issue is ever truly resolved without both parties recognizing their participation in the origins and/or perpetuation of the issue.

Experienced nurses are not all somehow evolved beyond basic human instincts of ego defense simply by benefit of their nursing experience. They too have the responsibility to recognize their own contribution to the problem. And when I see a handful of people abdicating any and all responsibility for a commonly identified, well defined and well researched phenomenon of which they play an integral part, MY first inclination is to call bull ****.

[workinmomRN2012, BSN]

When someone in any profession struggles in the beginning

Exactly, we all struggle in the beginning- don't make it any harder than it has to be.

[PatMac10,RN, RN]

BrandonLPN,

Your quote:

"I'm not sure I understand. My whole point is that what the "nurses eat their young" crowd define as "mean" and what I define as "mean" are two different things."

Is saying the same thing that Metal Monk was, it's all a matter of perspective. Different people will see and interpret things differently according to their position, experiences, and such.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

BrandonLPN,

Your quote:

"I'm not sure I understand. My whole point is that what the "nurses eat their young" crowd define as "mean" and what I define as "mean" are two different things."

Is saying the same thing that Metal Monk was, it's all a matter of perspective. Different people will see and interpret things differently according to their position, experiences, and such.

^When speaking of perspective, one should know what place it's coming from...That's what a lot of nurses are posting, including myself.

For example, I work in critical care. I'm a new grad on orientation. I was not able to be cleared to be a two nurse person check. I let the nurse I was precepting with (my preceptor was not here that day) know about it; her response was "let me find someone else," and rushed away. I went in and helped the nurse who reported off to us on one pt and helped out, and was getting a great experience. The charge nurse was available and she took me under her wing, while the precepting nurse had to catch up, which she did, an hour later. She apologized to me; she felt that her curt tone could've been offensive to me. I told her it wasn't; she needed to give the med in a timely manner, so my perception was never her being disrespectful or "mean." Our day was hectic; that particular pt we had declined in her status. Her timely manner helped when this particular pt went down. Her time management and my willingness to step aside at that moment helped make sure another pt's needs were net while we were able to focus on a unstable pt, and she was able to precept adequately to my needs.

Another new grad or new hire nurse would've thought that her focus on getting her work done was rude or hurtful. Sometimes when you are at the beginning of orienting as a new nurse or in a new role or specialty, learn to step aside, be prepared to reveal if you are unsure; take the reins of vulnerability in a accountable way; most people will take you under their wing as soon as you make that spiel.

II can only speak with my experience. I've been "new" numerous times in my 30+ years in my life-there will be plenty of "new" experiences. I've learned a style that has gotten net positive results, by advocating for myself from a place of security, even if I'm secure that I know NOTHING, I'm assertive enough to gain the experience I need, and have an open mind. You are NEVER going to know everything; nursing and healthcare is not designed for that.

I have been a preceptor. My first focus is on learning styles; the most focus is on how well one can advocate for yourself. How comfortable is one to admit that they need to look things up? Need to reread things over and over?? Write things down? Need confidence in speaking to pts doctors and peers?? I appreciate the ones who are unsure and can admit it; because then the orientee can move on from there, and put it to rest and flourish as a competent nurse. I've seen it; I have also seen ones who choose not to, and will attempt to throw people under the bus, refuse to take responsibility, lie, and commit fraud to not do things the right way because of their egocentricism.

Once one is active and committed to collaborating that knowledge with your "crusty" peers, the better the torch of their expertise will be passed to the next generation. That's how I interpreted GrnTea's post.

Sometimes you have to put your vulnerability on your sleeve or set it aside to understand a different perspective, even if its not comfortable. We are dealing with people at a vulnerable place when we appear at the bedside...it's best for one to get in touch with it, grow from it, and leave it somewhere. Because when you are at that bedside, that clinic, that home, on the other side of the telephone, or in the classroom, the role is ADVOCATE, and it that role is empowering; it's best to be empowered than to feel useless or self-defeated, it will not do patients and their families as well as the NURSE ANY good.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

However there are those that are from the "Everybody wins" generation that don't realize that criticism alone isn't negative and no one is going to praise every thing you do.

Let's not try to cast too many generational stones...

I'm old enough and learned enough to know that the Boomers were termed the "Me Generation," characterized by self-involvement and a "me first" attitude.

Also, the notion that "everybody wins" was taught to the generation you describe by generations before. The notion was not independently imagined by the children of that era, but orchestrated by teachers, administrators, psychologists, and scholars of human development from previous eras. Why then is it such a big freakin' surprise now that those teachings were adopted and integrated into their world views as adults???

That's like indoctrinating a child in the Catholic religion and then criticizing them for not espousing the tenets of atheism as adults...We reap what we sow...In terms of abdicating all responsibility for something for which the responsibility is obviously shared, I can think of no better example than the rallying cry against the "Everybody Wins" generation that you have so succinctly presented here.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

To present an example: During my final semesters as a student, I had OR training and training on an 80 bed med surg unit. The nurses for the most part were great, but I'm also a self starter. From the beginning, the expectations were clear: take the initiative or you're not staying. They were willing to help, but no one was overly friendly, or willing to hold my hand. Why? They had a job to do, and I had to prove myself. Certainly, respect goes both ways, but the responsibility ultimately lies with you, the newbie to demonstrate the willingness and the initiative to learn and fit in with the culture of that unit, not the other way around. Some people are mean and impatient, but for the most part, this isn't the case. It's a matter of perception.

[Swellz]

To present an example: During my final semesters as a student, I had OR training and training on an 80 bed med surg unit. The nurses for the most part were great, but I'm also a self starter. From the beginning, the expectations were clear: take the initiative or you're not staying. They were willing to help, but no one was overly friendly, or willing to hold my hand. Why? They had a job to do, and I had to prove myself. Certainly, respect goes both ways, but the responsibility ultimately lies with you, the newbie to demonstrate the willingness and the initiative to learn and fit in with the culture of that unit, not the other way around. Some people are mean and impatient, but for the most part, this isn't the case. It's a matter of perception.

I'm with you. I have some fellow students who, as seniors, are less concerned with learning and more concerned with how early they can get out of clinical. Why would anyone be invested in teaching me if I am not invested in learning? I think there are bad reputations on both sides of the "new nurse-old nurse" line, but it is up to the individual, like you said

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

To present an example: During my final semesters as a student, I had OR training and training on an 80 bed med surg unit. The nurses for the most part were great, but I'm also a self starter. From the beginning, the expectations were clear: take the initiative or you're not staying. They were willing to help, but no one was overly friendly, or willing to hold my hand. Why? They had a job to do, and I had to prove myself. Certainly, respect goes both ways, but the responsibility ultimately lies with you, the newbie to demonstrate the willingness and the initiative to learn and fit in with the culture of that unit, not the other way around. Some people are mean and impatient, but for the most part, this isn't the case. It's a matter of perception.

I don't remember ever saying that anyone had to be overly friendly or hand-holding. I do remember saying that I can see how having to contend with that expectation could be frustrating.

When more than one person is involved in the success or failure of a particular undertaking, then it is flippant to state that the responsibility for success or failure lies squarely on the shoulders of one. If that were true, why bother tasking experienced nurses with precepting new nurses at all? How useless that would be if their input was (as you say) ultimately ineffectual. In reality, they share the responsibility. Why? Because those experienced nurses were given a job to do, and part of that job includes mentorship.

I agree that the newbie has ultimate control over his/her actions. Absolutely. Point blank. He or she must demonstrate willingness and initiative to learn and to fit into the culture of the unit. Without question. But it doesn't end there. Some people think of themselves as victims even in the face of as much support as can be reasonably expected, but for the most part, that isn't the case. It is indeed a matter of perception.