New CNA with New Job... What would you do?

[MystyqueOne, BSN, RN]

Hello All,

I am going to try to keep this short. I got my CNA license in January and my friend that works in hospice care had bragged all about how good of a person I am and how well I do at my jobs to her boss. The day I got my license, I got an interview and hired on the spot. I was also 8 months pregnant at the time. I worked hard at my job and did exceptionally well. So much so, that my boss wanted me back after my maternity leave as soon as possible and told me that she loves me. So, when I came back after about six weeks off, I was assigned to this group home that none of the other CNA's liked (there are a total of five of us). I absolutely love it there and my job. (They didn't like it due to the owner trying to tell them "how to do their jobs", when I take the time to listen and absorb as much as I can.) Well, ever since I came back from maternity leave, I have been dealing with a ton of drama. First... I never see any of the CNA's because I am the only one that goes to this group home and they have their own patients to see. I only see them during the once a month meetings that are mandatory. The only person I speak to (besides my boss and nurses as required) is my "friend" that helped me get this job (which also is one of the CNA's). Well, I found out that the other CNA's are upset with me due to some rumors that my "friend" has been spreading about me (she, herself, told me that she, of all the CNA's, has the biggest mouth). Things like that I'm not doing my job well and saying things about the other CNA's and such. I usually just blow them off and don't let them bother me since I know I never say such things and I never see them (yet, alone know them). She calls me up after she's had a few drinks and tries to "constructively criticize" me about what I should be doing with my job or what I shouldn't be doing (even though her and I don't work together, either). When asked about why the other CNA's would be upset, she tells me she doesn't know. She is the only link between me and the other CNA's since I don't talk to them or see them. My boss knows all about all these rumors, she is setting up mediation with every single CNA. My "friend" also had issues before I came on board regarding her actions...

Well, a couple weeks ago, I made a mistake and took orders from a doctor over the phone. It's a complicated situation regarding family and such and the caregiver had handed the phone to me. Long story short, I took orders over the phone and immediately knew I had made a mistake. I immediately called my boss, after documenting everything said, and self-reported my mistake. She had to make a paper-trail regarding that incident, but nothing happened. Well, one of the CNA's that just got hired on a couple of months ago decided to read my notes (which my boss was wondering why they were reading my notes to begin with) and made a complaint with the board of nursing (knowing that my boss already knows about it, but didn't even discuss with her, first). So, I'm upset for a couple of reasons. My boss had already taken care of the issue. I had learned my lesson immediately when it happened. I'm afraid for what the board will do with my license. ...And I'm super stressed out about all this drama that keeps coming to me. My "friend" continues to call me up, saying things like that she loves me like a sister and that she's just trying to help me or warn me. ...But, yet she never says anything about her being happy or proud of what I'm doing in my life. She had told me that she is envious of me because I've had a baby when she wants one and I'm going to nursing school when she can't. I try to motivate her to do those things so that she can be happy.

I've been in tears over this a number of times.... I absolutely LOVE my job (without all the drama) due to it's flexibility and the patients! I'm also starting nursing school next month (July). I need this job for both financially and experience, but I'm not sure if it's worth all the drama.

So, my question is: What would you do??? I just don't think I'll be able to find another part time CNA position that pays as well and that is flexible around my school and breastfed baby. What would you all suggest???

Also, what could the state board do with the complaint about me taking orders from the doctor (worling out of my scope of practice), but self-reported?

I'm stressed, worried, anxious, and excited all at the same time! What a confusing life I have at the moment!

Thanks for all you have to offer. Please be gentle!

[nyteshade, BSN]

Hi there!

Whoa! You have quite a few things going on! It seems to me you have what I would call a toxic "friend". I know that might be a bit painful. You already see the signs, jealousy and lies. It would be wise to stop discussing anything else with this person. Especially if you want to keep this job. As a matter of fact, I would just keep to myself all together. I wish you luck, and congrats on baby and nursing school. I hope you will meet positive people in school that will be happy for you.

As far as your CNA license, I'm not too sure how they may procede with that. If anything at all. Each state handles things differently. You may be able to look your info up online at the BON website and see if there is action against you. Also, read the laws about your scope.

Best of luck to you!:heartbeat

[praying_mantis]

IMO, you are giving your so-called "friend" WAY too much power over you.

I would distance myself from her as much as possible.

Continue to do your work. You are obviously respected by your boss, which is more important that what the other CNA's think of you.

As far as your CNA liscense, I wouldnt worry too much about that. You self reported. That goes along way. Besides, I think that they would be able to see right through the complaint. You did not cause a pt harm, and your supervisor took care of it.

Keep up the good work.

[jRN2be]

First a CNA never, ever, takes any kind of order from a MD. I would also get rid of that friend. Those kind of people are not what you need during nursing school. I hope everything turns out well for you.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

i think the claim that you "took an order" is on thin ice.....you listened to it, realized you couldnt, legally carry it out, and dealt appropriately with it.....geesh......and yeah, distance from all the little blabber mouths.....frankly if i were the boss of that CNA that reported you, i might fire her/him for insubordination......good luck

and if they had no care relationship, they were guilty of a HIPAA violation

[nkara, CNA]

Tell your "friend" you don't need to speak to her again. End of story.

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

While I hope everything works out for you, I do think you need to run away from that friend. Yeah they got you a job but they aren't helping you keep it. As far as getting along with the other CNA's, look you are there to do a job. IF they like you enough to be friends that's great if they don't, well they don't. You be professional and limit yourself to care of the patients. Rule #1 of not be in a drama filled work place: Don't become part of the drama. Turn the other cheek!

I hope everything works out for you.

[MystyqueOne, BSN, RN]

Excellent, Excellent advice! Thank You so much for all your advice. I really so much appreciate everything you guys have to offer. So... I don't want to tick off my "friend" by just avoiding her all together (to only increase more lies from her)... What's the best way to do that? I suppose whenever she calls, tell her I'm busy or whatnot, rather than telling her I don't want to have anything to do with her again.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!

I'm SO proud to be a member of this site!!! I absolutely LOVE everything this site has to offer, including advice on such matters.

[squeakykitty]

You did get a lot of good advice here. I have only one word to say to that manipulating drama queen---

Enough already!!!!!!!!!

NO MORE LIES!!!!

I will not feed into your selfish need for drama!!

You will not control my life with your toxic selfishness!!!!

(Sorry, but I have a friend who is dealing with someone like this, and I'm bound determined that he will not win.)

[tishirajan]

I would just tell her straight up that I knew what she had been saying and that a real friend does not talk from both sides of her mouth. I wouldn't care if I ticked her off or not. Everyone seems to know the kind of person she is anyway and if she did throw more lies out there then she's the one that looks like and idiot, not you. But I would surely make it known that I really did not want her as a friend considering that she spread the rumors about you. There are 2 kinds of people I cannot stand and that's a liar and a thief.

Don't worry about the license issue. You did the right thing and your supervisor knows what happened.

[MystyqueOne, BSN, RN]

Thank you Squeakykitty and tishirajan (and everyone else) for your great advice. I was worried about my license. What kind of reprimanding I may get from the state board (if any). Tomorrow, both me and that "toxic" friend have a mediation with my boss to get everything straight. I'm going to go in there with an "I'm not going to let you both me with your lies" attitude. Just listen to what she says, even she tries to lie about something. I'm not admitting or denying anything. I'll hear what she has to say and she'll (hopefully) listen to what I have to say. My boss will coach us, per se.

Any advice on this mediation??? Thanks so much!

[EastBayCAStudent]

I'd drop the toxic friend in a heartbeat. No need to stir up any more drama in the process, just avoid her and refuse to talk to her any more than is required by work. If conversation turns to anything not directly work related (like at a meeting) just say "excuse me, I have some work to do" and walk away.

Obviously, she is too busy to go to nursing school herself. She has way too much gossiping to do!!!! That's classic jealousy.