Need help coping with death of a loved one while in nursing school

[lobatse]

Today is the saddest day of my life. I have cried my heart out on receiving the sad news that my mother is no more. I am in the last semester of an accelerated BSN program with two clinical rotations in progress and 20 credits load. I have classes full full time 3 days a week and 2 days of clinical. I am struggling with the decision to skip class to attend her funeral abroad(I need at least 4 days).

I am scared that the school will not let me skip a day of clinical hours and a couple classes. i think they will likely tell me that without enough clinical hours they will fail me. This is not a feasible alternative for me because all the money invested in this term will go to waste. I do not work and my credit wont allow me to borrow more money to return next semester to complete those same 20 credits.

On the other hand if i do not attend my mothers funeral I feel like I will feel guilty and haunted for the rest of my life.

I don't know if i'm making sense to myself or any of you but I guess what I'm looking for any suggestion or advice especially from anyone who has gone through similar experience.

i feel so alone and lost.I will really appreciate any input.

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

If you have never missed a day, and if it is your mother who passed away, your school may be willing to bend the rules for you.

In any event, I'm sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) and prayers to you!!

[Undone]

You only get one mother. Nursing school will always be there. This is your only chance to attend her funeral and mourn with your family members.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've suffered the loss of my mother also, with time it gets easier.

[monkeyhq]

With a death in the immediate family, most schools will allow you to make up clinical days. I am so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Go to the funeral. If you don't you will regret it. Going to the funeral will help you grieve and give you a sense of closure. Your school should excuse this and find a way to help you make up the hours. Make sure to give yourself time to mourn. You have a couple difficult months ahead of you. May you be successful.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Most schools will allow you to miss clinicals and take bereavement leave. Hugs for you (( )).

Just take it one day at a time. If you need to, make an appointment with your school counselor to talk things out. My mother died when I was in my first year of my BSN program. I found it really helped to talk to the school psychologist for a few months, and I had support from good friends. Absolutely, you must give yourself the time you need to grieve. There's no easy answers, but eventually the sadness isn't as intense. I think it took me two years to get through, but I was still able to focus on school and other things.

[Nonyvole, BSN, RN]

Talk to your adviser and dean. The worst that they can say is no, but I suspect that they won't, and you deserve to go to your mother's funeral.

I had a family member die unexpectedly while I was in nursing school - I was even notified during a class break when I was finally able to check my voice mail. That meant taking a few days off (and spending the rest of that day sitting miserably in class) so that I could attend the funeral, and my professors were very, very good at allowing me to reschedule lab and clinical hours. I was also allowed to postpone a quiz because I was going to be out of town that day, and for that class, we were not allowed to retake/reschedule any quizzes.

And I'm sorry for your loss.

[ParvulusPuella]

My program purposefully scheduled us for more clinical hours than the state BON required, just in case of situations like this. Perhaps yours does as well?

[lobatse]

I really appreciate your comments. I intent to talk to the dean and know what my options are. Our ABSN is extremely short on clinical hours and that is my main concern as to what they may let me do. Again thanks for your comforting words.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))

My niece was in an accelerated program in her second to last semester when she lost her Dad...my brother in law...after being briefly ill. The school was very understanding about time she took off.

Go to them and ask. Nursing school will be there but you have only one Mom follow your heart.

((HUGS))

[phoenoryker]

First, I am so sorry for your loss. I really hope the school allows some bereavement time and clinical make up for your situation. But, I want to put this out there to you in case you feel this way. If the school doesn't allow this, and you cannot afford to redo hours. Your mother lives forever in your thoughts, and she will be with you from here on out. If you have to miss the funeral, remember your mothers purpose was your success. You have your whole life to grieve. Compartmentalize that grief and work through it at your own pace while being happy in your life.

[RookieRoo]

Go to your mom's funeral. Go say goodbye. Not a lot of things in life are truly important, but this is. Nursing school, classes, everything else... there are things that are more important and this is one of them. I will be very surprised if your school doesn't understand that and doesn't have a grief allowance policy.