Is she taking advantage of my RN license? - page 2

Hello. I have a question about my cousin, whose a CNA using me as a job reference. It seems like every month I'm getting a call from a potential employer. The bad thing is, its been YEARS (since... Read More

  1. by   BluegrassRN
    Quote from LongislandLPN
    Doing something positive for another person especially family is a GOOD DEED. The universe brings positive energy to those who create positive energy. It is time for us all to be LESS selfish. I'm not calling you selfish and I am not condoning lying. Not mentioning that it has been 10 years since you worked with her is not lying at least I don't think so. Just give her a good reference , how long does it take 2 min? Its really not that big of a deal.
    Really? So, someone who doesn't perform their job well could get a job over someone who perhaps would perform better (and remember, the job is TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE), and it's not a big deal? It's "positive energy" to knowingly lie about someone's work ethic and performance? I'll bet all the people that gal works with, when she gets her job and then performs as per usual, are not sending "positive energy" out into the universe.

    I can't believe some of the skewed perspectives on right and wrong I see on these boards sometimes. Definitely an eye opener for me.
  2. by   SolaireSolstice
    Yes, either talk to her about it, or when these reference seekers call, let them know it's been 10 years since you worked with her, and actually she's your cousin, so maybe you could give a personal reference.
  3. by   canoehead
    She is taking advantage of you because you are letting her. Tell her it's been too long, tell her you couldn't honestly answer the questions because she got fired, or even that the number of phone calls and time from your life has become too much. Or tell her you'll take the calls but you will answer honestly, and she might prefer to find someone else.

    If she worked 7-3 and you worked 3-11 you weren't witness to her work habits anyway. But if you think something is putting you in a bad position then stand up for yourself.
  4. by   lillymom
    You may want to tell her that places do not like to hear references from family members and they may not consider your reference. I have filled out several applications that state: Do not list family members, use only previous supervisors as references. She may be trying to use you as a supervisor reference if her other employers will not give her good references.
  5. by   leslie :-D
    share your concerns with her, re what makes you reluctant to give a positive reference.
    it could be considered an act of kindness, if you were (gently) truthful with her.
    much more to be gained for her and you.

  6. by   systoly
    I believe it's common courtesy to ask an individual if it's ok with them before putting their name down as a reference. So when I get a surprise call I say so. "This is a surprise, I didn't know about this, perhaps you could contact one of the other references".
  7. by   caliotter3
    Quote from systoly
    I believe it's common courtesy to ask an individual if it's ok with them before putting their name down as a reference. So when I get a surprise call I say so. "This is a surprise, I didn't know about this, perhaps you could contact one of the other references".
    Do this enough times and maybe she will get the message.
  8. by   hiddencatRN
    Quote from MekBlizz
    Thats one thing I did do with the last call. When they asked about me working with her I said, "Its been a long time since Ive worked with her and that we only worked about a year together." and when I answered questions I would say, "I cant recall her ever being late." which was true because I worked 3-11 and she worked 7-3 but CNAs and nurses complained about her work, eventually leading to write ups and a firing. So even though, I feel like Im lying, I am in a way but I guess its going around the truth, instead of saying "I dont know if she was ever late we worked 2 different shifts." I just said, "I cant recall her ever being late." That type of lie. Still isnt right Im sure. But I am so glad the advice you gave, never thought about saying, "Im not sure if I can give her reference as it has been many years since Ive worked with her." and I will let her know that when I speak to her too - ThANKS everyone! Never thought of that.
    PS- I didnt think this would jeopardize my license, I just figured she was taking advantage of it by using it as reference to make her look good because she knows theres at least ONE RN that would give her a good reference, me. SMH! Im so glad you guys advised me on this, now I know how to handle it.
    Why not just tell the potential employer that you are related, haven't worked together for quite some time, don't feel comfortable giving a reference, and end the call. Then call and leave a message with your cousin saying that you don't want her using you as a reference and that if anyone else calls you they will get the same answer from you.

    She's using your name without your permission, so there's no reason for you to compromise yourself to protect her, and you don't owe the potential employers anything more than to be polite in declining to answer their questions.
  9. by   LongislandRN23
    It is very evident that people are too concerned about people taking advantage and blah blah instead of helping a family member wow my family would never do that to me no matter how good/bad I was. The op said she does not know about her work ethic currently. I guess I come from a supportive family that would do anything for me. I guess I am very lucky. If you don't want to give her a good reference or a reference at all then do not. If you do then do it.
  10. by   Silverdragon102
    All the jobs I have gone for states not to use a family member so would avoid things like this