I Thought I Had My Dream Job, but My Past Took It Away...

Nurses General Nursing

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So a really stupid mistake I made 6 years ago came to bite me in the rear yesterday. I was working as an agency nurse staffing in correctional facilities when my NM told me I had to clock out & go home due to the fact my security clearance was revoked. My jaw hit the floor & I was stunned. I didn't completely understand why but on the inside I kinda knew why.

I hadn't told anyone I had worked for this company 6 years previous for about a month or two. Or what had happened when I did work for the company. Obviously I am not about to put my business out here on the interwebs, but if you PM I will tell you.

My NM didn't know why my security clearance was revoked but after I clocked out & got to my car I called my agency & they told me that I was unable to work for this company in *any* capacity. So, blacklisted. I figured if I was blacklisted my application wouldn't go through, I don't understand why it would let my application go through but then reject my security clearance.

When I get home I try to make phone calls to an HR but at 1500 on a Friday it's hard to get ahold of anyone. I finally do & she tells me she will get me an answer next week. I figure it's gonna be that I'm blacklisted & there's nothing I can do about it.

My heart is broken & shattered into a million pieces. I love working as a nurse in corrections, it's where my heart lies. Now that, that has been pretty much ended for me I don't know what else to do. I live in a small town so job opportunities are far & few between. The hospital in my town does hire LVNs occasionally, but I never get interviews. I honestly just can't handle LTC or PDN. The school district doesn't pay enough. Then that's it.

My mother keeps telling me to go back to become an RN but I don't even know if I want to any more. When I was working at the prison, I was so happy just working & being an LVN, I didn't even think about going back to school. I'm so lost right now.

I'm so stressed too because I was making so much money, I knew I could keep us out of the hole we were in, financially. We wouldn't have to live paycheck to paycheck any more. There's no way a family of 4 can live on my husband's small paycheck, we're always broke by the second or third week of the month. But it looks like we are gonna go back to that, especially after October when I lose Medicaid.

I don't know if I just needed to vent or need suggestions. I'm also really devastated right now. I get this awesome job, doing what I love to do, getting paid amazingly & then it gets ripped away. Of course we needed it desperately. I just don't know how we're gonna make ends meet after October.

I've already started looking for a new job because I know I'm not gonna get good news next week. But unfortunately, there's not many jobs available out there.

You did not have any inkling of possible consequences at the time of the action? You were not informed? I question you not being informed. You had a right to a rebuttal or defense. Long term, it might be worth looking into. Meanwhile, you have to take the course that allows your family to survive with the least amount of disruption to your peace of mind. Any income is better than none. And when the dust settles, you should consider pursuing the RN license. It will open up opportunities even without a clean slate regarding a security clearance. Best wishes.

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

This just happened and your world blew up.

You won't feel as confused in a few more days, and options will be clearer in a few weeks.

Can you get unemployment in the meantime?

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
This just happened and your world blew up.

You won't feel as confused in a few more days, and options will be clearer in a few weeks.

Can you get unemployment in the meantime?

I doubt I can as I was working for as an agency nurse.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
You could be right. But people generally know what they can and can't handle. I don't want to see her jump from the frying pan into the fire.

That's how I feel, especially being bipolar. If I try to work LTC I feel it's just a strain on my nerves & everything & I never last. There are ads for PDN but I know for a fact there aren't any open cases.

I do want to go back to school but when my youngest son went to daycare when I was at work he got so sick & he still isn't any better. He got bronchitis & bilateral ear infections.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
You did not have any inkling of possible consequences at the time of the action? You were not informed? I question you not being informed. You had a right to a rebuttal or defense. Long term, it might be worth looking into. Meanwhile, you have to take the course that allows your family to survive with the least amount of disruption to your peace of mind. Any income is better than none. And when the dust settles, you should consider pursuing the RN license. It will open up opportunities even without a clean slate regarding a security clearance. Best wishes.

No, I didn't know anything bad was going to happen until I was pulled into a room with my NM & another person. I even walked in work with my NM! Then while I was counting sharps with the night shift I was called into a room with my NM & another man. All my NM told me was they could do an investigation or I could resign, so I chose to resign because I was already so embarassed & I figured their investigation” would only point fingers at me & then I'd get fired.

I know an RN will open up more doors, which will be great! But I probably won't be for awhile & I still won't be able to work in the prison system.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Maybe leave Nursing altogether for a while? Don't let your license lapse. Work part-time in Nursing and do something else until you figure it out. Good luck.

Yeah, I think I need a break for awhile. I won't let it lapse again (that was a mistake)! But obviously I can't get a job as an LVN with my horrible job history & I can't go back to school right now.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I'm really sorry this has happened to you. {HUGS} and [bLESSINGES} to you. :0)

Thank you. :) *hugs*

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I can understand feeling frustrated and defeated but personally if given the choice of not working, or working in a job I'm not passionate about but provides for my family, I would choose the latter. However, I recognize everyone has different priorities

I so desperately want to provide for my family, it's just I know what my limits are. I'm bipolar & I can't handle working LTC.

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I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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I so desperately want to provide for my family, it's just I know what my limits are. I'm bipolar & I can't handle working LTC.

Ah. I did not realize that. I apologize

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You sound a lot like me. I too was an LVN working in corrections and I made a stupid mistake that cost me my clearance. I loved the jail, but I messed up and I'm still kicking myself for it. All I can tell you is to take it one day at a time. You are probably eligible for unemployment, since it was a mistake you made in the past and not something you did on the job, so get that. I started working in home care, which was OK. Now I work in a methadone clinic which I really enjoy. Things will get better. I try to think of the experience as the worst mistake I ever made, meaning I won't ever make another one as bad. We all mess up, some of us more than others. Now days, I take life more seriously and my work especially seriously. The important thing is your family. Love them, take care of them as best you can, and try to forgive yourself and find joy in life again.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I am so sorry. Sadly I think you are probably correct in guessing unemployment won't be an option since you work for an agency. Your state's unemployment agency will just argue that you have the option of simply accepting a different assignment through your current employer. I understand LTC is not for you, and that's OK. I'm sure you have probably looked at other opportunities but in case not, have you considered Assisted Living or group homes? Maybe you would be able to thrive in a smaller, less hectic setting than LTC. Another advantage is those settings typically staff with LPN's rather than RN's so finding a job might be easier there.

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