You sound a lot like me. I too was an LVN working in corrections and I made a stupid mistake that cost me my clearance. I loved the jail, but I messed up and I'm still kicking myself for it. All I can tell you is to take it one day at a time. You are probably eligible for unemployment, since it was a mistake you made in the past and not something you did on the job, so get that. I started working in home care, which was OK. Now I work in a methadone clinic which I really enjoy. Things will get better. I try to think of the experience as the worst mistake I ever made, meaning I won't ever make another one as bad. We all mess up, some of us more than others. Now days, I take life more seriously and my work especially seriously. The important thing is your family. Love them, take care of them as best you can, and try to forgive yourself and find joy in life again.