I dont want to do this anymore!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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I dont know where to begin. I just do not want to be a nurse anymore. I really never did, since 2nd year of nsg school, but I didn't want to quit such a big commitment,I graduated. I have no desire to be a med surg nurse, in fact I would probably stink at it. I cant imagine being a med surge nurse. Thats why I went into ER right out of school, left that, did pedi home health for a while, now I am in the OR. I liked that for the first few weeks, now I hate that too. I dont know if its nursing, me, or I just cant hack it. The problem is I need this job I have for the benefits, and my salary. Plus my husband will *flip out* if I quit another job again. But I truely believe I shouldnt be in such a profession as nursing if my heart isn't in it..but.what else can I do? Is there anything you guys can suggest career/husband wise????? I have been telling him I love this new job, everythings going great, and actually it is, except that I am a nervous wreck inside, and I am counting the hours til lunch, break, and quitting time. I actually think he might divorce me if I quit!!! (or at the least be very very bitter towards me) I dont know whats bothering me more: the fact that I dont want to be a nurse, or the fact that I will dissapoint my family. Help......any advice will be appreciated.........:o

I think maybe we all got burn out together, because it will be 4 years in May (for degree) and August (for license) for me, too....:cheers:

1 Votes
Specializes in NICU.

Someone asked about stress, and I think it just depends on the person and the job that they're in.

At my first job, I worked in the newborn nursery. Some would think that's the perfect, nonstressful job. And to many, it very well could be. It was stressful to me because I was just out of school, had NEVER worked in a hospital, and I was learning so much in a short amount of time. I remember getting nervous before every shift. You know it's bad when you're working and the housekeeping comes in to take out your trash and you're sitting there thinking "ah, I wish I could do her job" and then you actually start contemplating getting a job like that, even though you have worked so hard for this degree!

If I could give any type of advice at all, it would be this: WORK as an aide/PCT/extern/etc in a hospital WHILE you are still in nursing school. I think that woulda helped me tremendously. I had never worked in a hospital and so when I first started I had to get used to all the stuff that comes along with a new job (meeting new people, finding out where things are, getting to know how everything works, etc) while learning all the actual job skills. If I could go back, I would have worked as an extern on the floor I wanted to work for after graduation.

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I used to wish for the housekeepers job. And I used to be jealous of visitors....because they got to leave.

It was really sad, and really pathetic. I was very unhappy. Your saying that, RainDreamer, brings it back! I'm glad it's over though...

Someone asked about peanut butter "exit" time? :lol2:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut_Butter_Jelly_Time

There you go!:monkeydance:

1 Votes
RNOTODAY said:
gr8rn, purple, thanks for your response, and I agree totally about the counseling, I guess I just dont know where to go next career wise. I would LOVE a non clinical job, but not sure of the experience you would need, I have been an RN around 4 years, but not continuously.... IE: changed jobs alot... but I had one for 2 years, thats good, right??? LOL (it probably doesnt even count, it was home care).........I just wish right now I never went to nsg school......so many choices, but I am very limited in what I am *willing* to do.......I just know I cant go on like this.being all anxious inside.Sooner or later it will show in a big mistake that could hurt somebody...... that terrifies me.....

The first place you might want to check is with home health agencies. You have 2 years experience in home health and that definitely DOES count. You have a good chance of getting a case management position in a home health office. You will have a desk, phone, computer and no bedside care. Don't get me wrong, you will be busy busy with the phone and computer, but the office environment is so much more relaxing than a hospital. I too was like you, but then I found my niche in home health patient care, and then in working in the office. I'm sure there is something out there for you. If you are interested in case management, why not start with the home health agency you used to work for to see if they're looking for case managers.

1 Votes
Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

Sounds familiar...I too got to the point where I really didn't want to do this anymore! But, after a while...well out of fear of hurting my family...I got help with my MD to find ways to help me....I found out I had gotten full blown depression!

I got help, a low dose antidepressant and I did some really cool worksheets for depression I found in a book. It helped me in life and work really..because it was actually things I was doing to myself before nursing that were hurting me...Like putting myself down and not knowing it...not listening to myself when I was feeling bad....etc!

Now, thanks to my MD and some soal searching..I love my job again..and I have always been good at it...but, I didn't believe it! It is my nature, but I had formed some habits along the way that I needed to change in myself in order to help others!

As they say...can't serve people if your plate is empty! It is sooooooooooo true...if you have nothing left to give...you can't give! I finally accepted that, and took a long look at myself, and as scary as it was (I thought I was going nuts not wanting to be a nurse after all my family and I had done to get me there!...I felt lower than a slugs bottom!)...I solved it.

Good luck to you!!!!!!!

1 Votes
Specializes in ER, telemetry.

Good heavens, be a little creative. I'm not a nurse yet and even I know there are far more options that different units in a hospital. How about case manager for health insurance companies? How about state surveyor? How about pharmaceutical or medical equipment rep? How about legal consultant? You may also want to talk to a career coach. Not a recruiter or placement agency but someone who can work with you to understand why it is you don't like doing what you are doing. It sounds like it may not be nursing you don't like but working. If that's the case, if your husband doesn't divorce you after this career change he will after the next. School nurse? Instructor? Think outside the box.

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To the OP, I feel like I could have written parts of your post. ;)

I've been a nurse for five years now, and the last year I have been job hopping. I've never had a job I truly liked. I've worked mostly ER, but have tried OR and recovery too. I'm looking for a non-clinical job now as well...applied for infection control. Also thinking about PharmD school.

I'll even take a pay cut and be a pharmacy tech, if I thought I'd like it better. Being miserable at work SUCKS.

I've applied for a few non-bedside positions, and also Peds ICU. So, we shall see.

You're not alone!

I think it sucks that your S.O. isn't being very supportive though. My fiance is understanding that nursing sucks a lot these days, and wants to help me find something I enjoy...so that is a big help. Can't imagine how much more stressful it would be if I thought he was going to leave me or hate me, etc.

If it helps to give your guy some comparison, I had the same job for four years, but in the last year I've had five jobs!

1 Votes

I tend to feel the way you do when I am going through an episode of depression (which is all the time when I don't take my medicine).

1 Votes
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
ERNurse752 said:
To the OP, I feel like I could have written parts of your post. ;)

I've been a nurse for five years now, and the last year I have been job hopping. I've never had a job I truly liked.

Being miserable at work SUCKS.

I think it sucks that your S.O. isn't being very supportive though. My fiance is understanding that nursing sucks a lot these days, and wants to help me find something I enjoy...so that is a big help. Can't imagine how much more stressful it would be if I thought he was going to leave me or hate me, etc.

To the OP: As you can see, you are SO not alone here. I could have written much of the above post myself; although I've been an RN for 9 years, only now have I found a job I really love. I bounced around from job to job for the first 5 years, then lasted almost 3 years at the last one; but the last 12 months of that job were spent being sick in body, mind, and spirit. If I'd kept on much longer, I think it might literally have killed me.........my blood pressure was sky-high, and I was suffering from chest pain and occasionally even numbness and tingling on one side.

So I walked away, nine days before Christmas, without another job lined up or knowing where my next house payment was coming from. My husband was not happy either, but he got over it once he realized how much better I was afterwards. And I haven't been ill a day since, even though I'm working 40+ hours a week now and doing more than I ever thought possible. I'm the health services coordinator for a 42-bed assisted living community, and I love it.........not only do I no longer feel like a glorified pack animal, but I have a good deal of control over how I do my job and how the facility is run. I only do the bedside care that I WANT to do---I can delegate other tasks, or farm them out to home health---and I have the time to do all I need to do and even eat/go to the bathroom/tend to my personal needs when I have to. And did I say I love this job?

Life is waaaaaay too short to be unhappy in your work. We spend fully a third of our day there, and NO job on earth is worth the sort of misery you are experiencing. Get out while you can and find something you might be able to enjoy........I'd be willing to bet you just haven't found your niche yet.

Good luck, and please keep us posted.

1 Votes
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

do NOT give up.

that is the best advice I can give you. There ARE greener pastures out there. I am so sorry for your misery right now....

1 Votes

I think most nurses have been in your position or on every similar. I've been out of school 2years, on my 3rd hospital, 4th department. I HATED nursing until went to the ED, where I am now. I'd say, I don't hate nursing now, it's tolerable. I'm with you... I feel I just choose the wrong profession!!!

I'm a good nurse, bust my butt for patients, and try to help out, but you can only do soo much. Take care of you, b/c the hospital could care less about you!!!

I'm just curious... I don't like nursing, but I'm starting an Accelerated RN-BSN program so I'll be able to get away from the bedside, since there are so many options- how many of you guys have your AAS vs your BSN. Maybe I have it wrong, but almost all the non-clinical jobs I see require many years of experience or BSN. I also feel that I NEED to get my bachelor's degree b/c I'm ony 25y & without it, I'll never leave the bedside. What have others found to be the case, all opinions welcome:)

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Specializes in Tele, Acute.

So sorry about the problem you are having. Please reconsider working in another area of nursing.

It would be a real loss if you leave the field. You are what good nurses are made of, you are honest, respectful and obviously smart (you got thru school and passed boards). Hope you can find your calling in a non-clinical area.

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