How would you handle this?

[DroogieRN]

Never mind.

[FlyingScot, RN]

I'm confused...he greeted you,asked how you were, exchanged some mild pleasantries then addressed your question and that's what you call mean? I think we all need some clarification before we'll be able to comment. My idea of mean runs more along the line of a doc throwing a dirty laryngoscope at my head.

[BrookeeLou_RN]

Yep, confused here also

[Sun0408, ASN, RN]

From just reading your OP, it sounds as tho he was making small chit chat before getting down to business.. Now I was not there so I don't know how he was "acting" or if he was being sarcastic or not so I would need more info before giving options..

[KJStarling]

Yeah, I must be missing something... Maybe he's trying to not be a jerk now, and he's been so mean in the past EVERYTHING he does seems mean?

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Whaaaa? I am completely missing something.

[FlyingScot, RN]

Seriously, Droogie, we'd like to help you but your description of the incident sounded pretty benign. Did he use a mocking tone? Did he refuse to answer your question? Did he treat you like you were stupid for asking for the consult? There are a whole lot of ways that a passive-aggressive person can make a seemingly innocent exchange make you feel about an inch tall. We've all been there but those of us who have been around for a long time remember when it was considered okay for docs to actually physically/verbally abuse us (mainly by throwing various objects like charts, scalpels and dirty dressings). Does he throw these kind of temper tantrums?

[DroogieRN]

I deleted my post because I am just too tired to explain, frankly. Yes, he was mocking and smiling and making it clear that I had to play his game before he would deign to hear my request. He is a colossal a$$ and I have never once heard him be genuinely nice. The only time I can bear to talk to him is on the phone and even then, it is a gamble. I was picturing it all in my head and thinking it was abundantly clear to all, but I guess it wasn't. It's one of those "location" things (ie, you had to be there).

[FlyingScot, RN]

Well I think pretty much all of us have been in this situation. I have two ways of handling this. First is the "pre-emptive strike". You walk up to him and before he starts in you very politely do to him what he did to you. "Good morning Dr. Butthead. In case you forgot I'm DroogieRN. How are you doing today?" Continue with the banal chitchat (always good to know the name of his wife and/or kids) until his eyes start to glaze over then make your request. You needn't worry that you have resorted to butt-kissing (butt-head kissing?) because in your heart you think he is the vilest creature on earth and you are actually imagining a patient puking all over his free dry-clean and pressed lab coat. Option number two is a little harder. You pick your battles. You'll learn as you progress that dealing with a condescending ass is small potatoes when compared to some of the stunts other physicians will pull. The small potatoes stuff isn't worth expending your energy on since you will need it to do CPR later in your shift because some other idiot didn't deign to answer his pager and your patient crumped.

[DroogieRN]

Thanks, FlyingScot. It is really hard for me to "make nice" with this clown, though, even when it's just to make a statement...

The small potatoes stuff isn't worth expending your energy on since you will need it to do CPR later in your shift because some other idiot didn't deign to answer his pager and your patient crumped.

He's done this, too...

[FlyingScot, RN]

Sad truth of the matter is with this career you are going to have to "make nice" to a whole lot of cretins and do it with a smile on your face. If not, you will have a rough road ahead of you. Trust me on this one...why learn from your mistakes when you can learn from mine?

[DroogieRN]

I know that you are right. I am going to have to sharpen my acting skills!